Proper 15 A - Speak from your heart August 17

The psalm today says, “How good when kindred live together in unity”. What a lovely concept. And what a difficult thing to actually do. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, both the family that raised me, and the family I’m raising. And, they both make me crazy sometimes.

How good it is when kindred live together in unity. Yikes. This is one of those scriptural passages that actually makes me a little anxious. I know it’s true, and yet it’s so hard.

Your kindred know you well enough to really really know you, inside and out. They know what’s good, and they know all of your weaknesses. And when kindred don’t live together in unity, that incredible and intimate knowledge of each other opens us up to be very vulnerable. They know our weaknesses. And we know theirs.

Siblings betray one another. They lie to one another. Parents, no matter how much they love their children, do things to hurt or control them and each other, well beyond what good parenting would demand. And don’t get me started on the trouble children can cause. Unity is not an easy place to stay, within a family, with all the moving parts and emotions and vulnerabilities.

And yet, scripture points us to an ideal when kindred live together in unity. It feels like my understanding of how all families work puts the unity factor over here and the vision in scripture is over here.

How do we bridge that?

I know what doesn’t bridge that gap. We don’t live in unity, simply by a lack of trouble, by sweeping problems under the rug, or dreaming of the ideal family where there is no weeping or gnashing of teeth. Kindred living together in unity isn’t a place absent any pain or sorrow.

Just look at the continuing story of Joseph’s family we’ve heard throughout the summer. A quick recap of his poor life. He’s a braggart, and actually kind of obnoxious. His eleven brothers, plus his often overlooked sister Dinah, made famous by her starring role in the book, The Red Tent, were jealous of him, as he was his father’s favorite, despite being the brown-nosing, tattle telling son. His father gave him a multi-colored cloak, which sent the brothers on an envious rampage. They were originally going to kill him, but ended up selling him into slavery, and returning home to tell their father he had died. Joseph is now enslaved by Potipher, with no kindred around him, and his story takes some even more dramatic twists.

Joseph got crosswise with Potipher, due to unwelcome romantic advances from his Potipher’s wife, and her conniving lies she told Potipher to harm Joseph. He was put in jail. There he continued having fantastical dreams that had caused envy with his bothers, and interpreting his dreams and the dreams of others. About that time the Egyptian Pharaoh was being tormented by bad dreams, and Joseph was called upon to help, and interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams. Pharaoh trusted Joseph and his interpretations, and because of that, Egypt was saved through a 7 year famine, while most of the region suffered greatly.

The same drought was plaguing Israel, and Joseph’s brothers had heard that the Pharaoh had food when few did. They headed to Egypt to beg for food, not knowing that their brother Joseph was key to Egypt’s abundance. They appear before brother Joseph, and although they don’t recognize him, Joseph recognizes his brothers.

After some trickery from Joseph to see what the brothers’ intentions are, we come to today’s reading. Joseph finally reveals himself to them, and they are overcome with joy. The author says they cried on each other’s necks. I like that image, because I’ve done that, where you cry so freely that it runs down the neck of the one you’re embracing. Those are unfettered tears.

This, I would suggest, is the unity of kindred living together in the midst of trials, tribulations, deceit, murderous intent, jealousy, embarrassment, and rage. And yet, they experience a sweet reunion. It’s not the absence of trouble in families that make unity. Everyone, every family has trouble.

Joseph says something during this reunion that gives us some insight as to how to bridge that gap, how to live in unity despite trials. He basically says that the brothers are not to blame for all of his turmoil. Rather, God is to thank. Several times he says “God sent me”. God turned something horrible, into something good.

Joseph, despite the troubles seemingly caused by the brothers was able to use that moment to praise God, to thank God for the circumstances, and was able to see how God used it for good. I wonder whether during the days in the pit where his brothers left him, or the days in the prison, or the moments when he realized he had been betrayed and deceived, I wonder if he had doubts, or fear, or anger. And during dark times, he certainly couldn’t have known that all would work out for good. But eventually good time came for Joseph.

And then come Joseph’s brothers. No matter how good things had become, it’s hard to let bygones be bygones when they show up in your court asking for help. But Joseph utters not a single bitter angry blaming word. God sent me. It wasn’t you. With those simple words out of his mouth, he effectively takes the brothers out of the equation. You brothers are not to blame. God is to be thanked. Besides, we are together now. Let me cry on your neck.

At that moment, when he revealed himself to his brothers, he had a choice. He could have said something reflecting the anger and bitter that would have been perfectly justified. You did this to me. I’m not going to help you now. Instead, he offered consoling, loving, forgiving solace. “Do not be angry or distressed with yourselves.”

This is what I take from today’s Gospel. Joseph had a moment where he had a decision about how to express himself. A negative blaming response could have resulted in a very different ending to the story. Blame and anger would not have resulted in kindred living in unity with each other. Instead, he chose to say something affirming and loving, and unifying. Not because his life had been all sunshine and rainbows. But because at that moment, he chose unity and love over righteous indignation and hate. It’s not what happened to Joseph, what his brothers did to him, what Potipher’s wife did to him, that defined or defiled him. It is what came out of his heart and out of his mouth. It’s not what happens to us, or what we put in our mouth. It’s what we do and say that matters, despite any of that.

As Jesus tells the disciples, It’s not what goes into the body that defiles, Jesus says. I would offer that it’s also not what happens to the body that defiles. It’s what comes out of the mouth that defiles, because that comes straight from your heart. Out of the heart, Jesus continues, come evil intentions.

Joseph did not let what happened to him define or defile him. He did not let it turn into evil intentions and show itself as evil speech. Instead, he spoke love and forgiveness, despite what happened. And what he said to his brothers changed everything.

In Joseph’s story, despite the twists and turns, they end up crying on each other’s necks. It ends well. Interestingly, in situations where there is an oppressor and oppressed, or victim and victor, the person who’s in the position of power, the person who’s wronged someone else has little ability to make all right. The power rests with the victim, with the oppressed. Only they have the power to reconcile everything. The oppressor may seek reconciliation, but without the assent or consent of the victim, it can never happen.

Think of the Canaanite woman. In their time, she was the ultimate outsider. She’s approached Jesus for food. She acknowledges him as Lord, kneeling at his feet. Jesus originally shoes her away, because his mission is to work with the people Israel. He dismisses her, and she responds, in her kneeling, lowly position in another brilliant example of what comes from the heart. She says, yes lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table. In front of everyone, this kneeling, contrite outsider respectfully and persistently speaks a truth to Jesus that causes him to change his mind. She doesn’t run away. She doesn’t succumb. Even there, she acknowledges his position, and speaks a truth from her heart that she believes he’ll understand. She, from this position of weakness, changes everything by what comes out of her mouth – with respect, with challenges, and ultimately with success.

Today, Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori has asked for the entire Episcopal Church to pray for the people of Iraq and the middle-east, who are living in fear for their lives and livelihoods, in the face of fierce prosecution, the looting of churches, businesses and homes, and the displacement of thousands under threat of death.

As children of Abraham, we are all kindred – Muslim, Jew and Christian. What is happening by and to other children of God is atrocious, and yet it is so far away, and so hard to comprehend, it’s easy to be apathetic or to feel so removed that we feel irrelevant.

Closer to home, race tensions are mounting because of the tragic shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson Missouri. During college, in the 1980’s I worked in the desegregation office of the St. Louis Public Schools, because they were under federal court order to desegregate, in the 1980’s. I know the tension that existed then. I can only imagine the tension that exists today. And it spills into our community. An ACLU meeting earlier this week in Eugene on racial profiling was very charged. What happens in Ferguson affects us. It should affect us. They are our kindred. The police in Ferguson. The African American community in Ferguson. The Iraqi children. The children crossing the border.

It is not what happens to us that defiles us. It is not what happens to our brothers and sisters around the country or around the world that defiles. It’s what comes out of our mouths. Or, what doesn’t.

Now is the time to speak up about what is happening, and what we wish would be happening instead. From your heart. Jefferts Schori asks that we “Pray that all God’s children might live in hope, of the world of peace for which we were created” Speak and pray for peace, from a place of love and respect. Like Joseph. Like the Canaanite woman. 

In a little while, we will pray for the church and the world. I will be praying for the grace to speak peace and light, to let good graceful intentions come out of my mouth, regardless of what happens. I will be praying for the children in the middle east, and for people who feel they are victimized by the police. Take a moment to think about what you will be pray for, either silently or aloud. Speak out. Create unity. Speak life from your heart.

As Psalm 19 says, “May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord”

Amen