Mar 31 2022 Day 316 1 Corinthians 7:1–9:27

Whoever was called in the Lord as a slave is a freed person belonging to the Lord, just as whoever was free when called is a slave of Christ.



To be clear, I have no idea whether Paul was talking figuratively or literally about slavery and slaves. If he was arguing that if you were an actual slave when you were called, I would counter that slavery is a construct that is entirely against Jesus’ message of loving thy neighbor. The notion of slavery and horrid conditions being something to be endured was something used to further oppress oppressed people by the church. Don’t worry about your squalor; your reward will come in heaven. Bunk. This line of thinking spawned an entire theological movement of liberation theology, which sought to dispel the notion that God had any interest in keeping the oppressed shackled. So, if Paul was speaking literally, all I can do is vehemently disagree.

But if he’s talking figuratively – we are slaves to sin, to worldly desires – I agree. When we realize we are captives to our desires, to the world’s values, to the expectations of others – it is through Jesus’ love that we realize we are in fact free. True, our own desires continue. But I’m not enslaved by them. True, the world’s values remain, but I’m not enslaved by them either.

In their book, Made for Goodness, Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu write about freedom and God. They first lay out three things we know from scripture. First, we are made to be good. One of their arguments for this position is that what we take for news are the exceptions to this – when people are bad and evil. If that were our common and normal state, it wouldn’t be news. Second, we are perfectly loved just as we are, so we can stop trying to be good. Third, God holds out a perpetual invitation to us to return to wholeness in God, rather than the anxious striving of this world.

The book then outlines that we are free in God, similar to Paul’s words. And for freedom to be truly free, we must be free to choose goodness or evil. The question they pose and then answer is, when we fail or fall or suffer, where is God and how do we find our way back to God? The answers lie in the previous three truths. We are made for goodness, we are perfectly loved, and we are always invited to return. As long as we are always free to return, and as long as we remember we are always loved perfectly as we are, we are free in Jesus.

Mar 29 2022 Day 315 1 Corinthians 4:1–6:20

In fact, to have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?



I admit, I like to be right. At least I like proclaim I’m right when my rightness has been questioned, especially if I really am right. Equally, I’m quick to admit I was not right, acknowledging I was wrong. Part of this I believe is a hazard of my composition. By all personality test accounts, I’m one who believes there’s a ‘right’ way to do things, and I’m always found following that way.

But really, does it matter? It’s taken me 30 years of marriage to realize that in fact, it doesn’t. Back to personality types, there are people who would always rather make peace than make conflict. I’ve never been one of those people. Conflict is a part of healthy relationships. But as it turns out, not always. In my own blinding flash of the obvious, I’ve come to agree with Paul. At least on this point. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be wrong?

I’ve been reading some fiction set in Amish country, now that I live in that vicinity. In a recent book, a family’s crop field was intentionally set on fire. Everyone knew who did it. The patriarch of the family, however, refused to press charges or even have the crime investigated further. Those in the community who sought justice were confused. Shouldn’t the guilty be held accountable?

His response was two-fold, and I reread that chapter a few times because it resonated. First, he argued that the suspect will be held accountable, but God’s the judge, not any human court. Yes! More convicting for me, he argued that if he pursued the crime, it would only create further animosity and ill will. Better to be wronged.

This morning, I’m thinking about the great wisdom in the notion that it’s better to be wronged than to be right. I want to be that person, who considers the greater good, both for God, and for all of God’s children.

Mar 27 2022 Day 314 1 Corinthians 1:1–3:23

AND so, brothers and sisters, I could not speak to you as spiritual people, but rather as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ...For as long as there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not of the flesh, and behaving according to human inclinations?

I have never given much thought to the notion that I’m an infant in Christ. I’ve heard the passage, and although ‘scoff’ is probably too harsh a word, I didn’t really take the notion to heart either. Me? An infant in Christ? Like many phrases in the politicized world today, I responded to the words based on what I thought they meant, all their inferred meanings rather than considering the intent. My bad.

So reading through the whole section along with the commentary, I have a slightly better understanding. Dallas Willard, author of the accompanying commentary for this section writes that a spiritual life is not a life-style choice, a commitment, a political statement or social position. When we use spirituality for those ends it ceases to be of God, and is rather something of mortals to be used. He even writes that the ‘essence and aim of spirituality is not to correct social or political injustices’. I have known many people for whom that seems to be precisely the aim of their spirituality.

He goes on to say that correcting the political and social wrongs of our world will likely be the result of a true spirituality, but it will not likely occur as we imagine. It will not likely occur as I’ve constructed in my mortal brain. True spirituality means we’d be ok if the injustices were solved in a way that seemed antithetical to the way we’d imagine the resolution; we’d in fact turn everything over to God, and abandon our worldly construct of how things should be resolved or our role in that.

In a very mundane example, yesterday morning I got up early, and laid in bed preparing to pray and write. At 5am, I rolled out of bed to the sound of chatter. My loved one and their roommate were downstairs, chatting with my husband and sharing a cup of coffee. They had not slept all night, and came down ready to join us for breakfast, even bringing eggs and sausage to be prepared. My husband and I have developed a lovely morning routine, which does not involve chatting and making a big breakfast before we’ve had our quiet time. Alas that was not to be. Neither was our beloved oatmeal bar. Neither was my prayer time. Neither was his reading time. Neither was our morning regrouping of what projects we were going to accomplish.

My routined mornings help me accomplish good things throughout the day. But their importance should be a means to an ends, not the ends in them self. As it turns out, our morning together was rich in conversation about our loved one’s illness and symptoms, their hopes and fears, and we were able to welcome her friend effectively into the care team for our loved one. 

We mortals hold on to the way we’ve imagined or planned things to be. God sometimes has other plans. The degree to which we hold on to our dreams rather than God’s is the degree to which we are still infants in Christ. When we can stay focused on God’s dream solely, we have a chance of maturing as spiritual beings.

Lent 2022 - The Woman and the Cave - The Color Red

 

This is my thoughts on the Lenten Journey, "The Woman and the Cave", created by deacon postulant and icon writer Kristen Wheeler. 

This week, we were to think about the color red. Kristen offered a great reflection on red to get the juices flowing. And here is mine.

I've heard that if you want to have a good sense of what colors work well together, look in nature. Whether it's the colors of the desert contrasted against the blue sky, the colors of a Portland cloudy sky, the ocean, or the colors in a field of wild flowers. After hearing that, I've paid attention to natural views to see how God puts colors together. It's always amazing.  To be clear, this is not true with man-made vistas; whether it's a poorly designed flower bed, or bad colors on a building. I'm talking about God's palette, not ours.  

When looking out at God's paintings and sculptures, red sees to be one of the least commonly used colors. For me, that means that when it shows up, it's absolutely striking. The red in that perfect sunset. One red poppy in a field of otherwise-pastel wildflowers.  The scarcity of natural red causes me to halt whenever I see it.

The one exception to my theory about the frequency of natural reds is in roses. Portland Oregon has a beautiful and expansive Rose Garden. And I admit that when I get to the rows and rows of red, it's overwhelming. Too much red. To be clear, it's beautiful but it's also so RED, it's almost too much. Then again,  most of the rose varieties now are more human engineered than nature, and certainly rows and rows of RED roses are humanly planted. 

In my church traditions, we designate different seasons of the church year with different colors, and red is one of the colors. And like in nature, it's the least frequently used colors. We wear red and cover the altar in red on Pentecost, to remind us of the fire of the Holy Spirit. We also wear red for Palm Sunday, when the passion of Jesus is read. Two times a year.  It's striking when it appears in nature and in church. 

Another unique thing about red is that if you try to find a lighter red, soon it ceases to be red and instead becomes pink. Do the same to blue, yellow or green, and you get light blue, light yellow or light green. They remain their colors. But red is only red when it's full of pigment. 

All of that is to say that I have a healthy respect for the color red. It's a beautiful color, rich with meaning, scarce in nature, and saturated with pigment. There's nothing common about red. I'm not sure I'd say I love the color red, although I love when I get wear my red vestments.
 

And Mary's red egg?  Startling, rich with meaning, and pigment. Red seems to be one way God gets us to stop what we're doing and pay attention. 

What do you think about when you think of the color red?

Mar 23 2022 Day 313 Romans 14:1–16:27

I urge you, brothers and sisters, to keep an eye on those who cause dissensions and offenses, in opposition to the teaching that you have learned; avoid them.



Paul is one complicated guy. In one part of his letter to the Romans he writes “Welcome one another, as Christ welcomed you”, and “Who are you to pass on another?” And then he concludes the letter with this warning, that the faithful should keep an eye on those who cause dissension, in opposition to the teaching you have learned. These people are to be avoided. But doesn’t that very urging require judgment? Doesn’t it preclude welcome?

I suspect it’s Paul’s statements like this that are the defense of all of the disagreement – sometimes violent disagreement between Christians. I suspect most every kind of genuine faithful Christian tradition has something good to it, welcomes one another and does not judge others as wrong. I also know that most every kind of genuine faithful Christian tradition has parts that follow Paul’s more testy counsel – keeping an eye on those who cause offense in opposition to the teaching, and those offenders are avoided. How do I reconcile these seemingly inconsistent messages from Paul?

First, I need to acknowledge that there is probably some rightness in both sentiments, despite the fact that I fall squarely in the ‘welcoming and no judgment’ camp. I say that just to acknowledge my bias, and to recognize that I will need to be cautious not to dismiss the other bits.

So here’s the rub. For those who fall in the “avoid them” camp, their read of Scripture will probably put me in the category of those who ‘cause dissension and offenses in opposition to the teaching you have learned.’ I will be the one avoided. And for me and those like me who fall in the ‘don’t judge’ and ‘welcome’ camp, I’m asked to avoid those who cause dissension in opposition to the teaching I have learned. That would be the people who fall into the “avoid them” camp. Paul has created a division in the church, with his seemingly simple warnings and counsel.

More troubling for me is what Paul’s counsel about avoidance does to me. I will always read Scripture and hear first the Love parts. Love your neighbor, love God. Do not judge. Care for the unlovable. That’s what I hold dear when I read Scripture. When I try to act on Paul’s counsel to avoid those who oppose the teachings, I will avoid those who judge, avoid and do not love the unlovable. That makes me one of them, doesn’t it? Haven’t I become one who avoids, and judges? That feels inconsistent with Paul’s message to welcome and not judge, let alone Jesus’ message to love.

I know that “keeping an eye on” and avoiding are not necessarily mutually exclusive to no-judgment, welcoming, and loving. But they seem to me like the first step on a very slippery slope to positions that are mutually exclusive.

Given my bias towards one side of this chasm, this morning I’m thinking about possible value in keeping an eye on others, and avoiding them. I’m not sure where it lies, but I shouldn’t just dismiss the admonition.

Mar 22 2022 Day 312 Romans 11:1–13:14

For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another.



Paul is telling the people of Rome that they are part of one body. He continues with the part about different parts having different skills and strengths and that each part is needed. This is a familiar notion to many. This morning, I’m thinking about the end of this sentence, a phrase not as familiar to me.

We are all part of one body, and we who are many are one body in Christ. There is a relationship between each of us and Christ the body. Yes. But he continues. Individually, we are members one of another. This indicates a relationship to each other, and even a possessive relationship to each other.

If I’m a member of a club, that club can claim me as its own. If I’m a member of another, that other can claim me as their own. I am inseparably connected to every other member of the body of Christ. That junkie? Connected. Putin? Connected. Every other member. Connected.

One could argue that they’re also connected to me, that their behavior to me should reflect our connectedness. Yes, and I cannot manage what they do, only what I do. I can’t concern myself with how others treat me, because I cannot change it. But I can change how I treat others, or at least be mindful of it.

For some reason I’m struck by the notion that we are members of each other, in addition to members of Christ’s body. I want to walk through the day with that sense of wonder as I meet every other person, to whom I’m connected.

Day 311 Romans 8:18–10:21

Because if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.



This section of Paul’s letter to the Romans that I will need to reread. And reread. It’s full of very long, very complicated sentences that I suspect are packed with great wisdom. I’m grateful for the accompanying reflection from Dallas Willard, to help me understand another little bite.

If you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. In some Christian traditions, being saved is vernacular that’s frequently used and understood. Or at least used frequently. It is not language that’s as common in my tradition, so I appreciate help unpacking the notion.

Willard suggests that this notion of being saved isn’t necessarily about what happens after we die. And Paul’s declaration isn’t like the secret phrase that’s uttered to get into heaven. Rather, it’s what we believe now, that allows us to act in God’s ways now. We have to first accept God into our lives at all times, and in all places. Once God is firmly settled in our very souls, only then are we equipped to do God’s work.

God’s work is hard, following Jesus is hard. Much is asked of us, and sometimes at great cost. It is only with God and through God that we can make the choice to follow God. Human preservation is a strong motivation to avoid hard or dangerous things; God’s power in us is stronger.

It is this abiding and acting that saves us, that makes our lives worthwhile, that gives us a glimpse of God’s kingdom come.

Lent 2022 - The Woman and the Cave - Week 3

 

Below is my reflection from The Woman and the Cave, a lenten journey created by Kristen Wheeler. 

My loved one is either becoming more symptomatic, or is becoming more healthy and returning to their surly, button pushing ways. The other night, we spoke and several button-pushing topics were broached. One had to do with an expensive hair appointment that I paid for, that apparently has been cancelled with no return of payment. Even still, our loved one wants another appointment for another hefty fee. The other topic was more challenging for me. Our loved one is on birth control. They would like to stop taking it, because they'd like to get pregnant from their husband, a famous rapper, that as far as we can tell, is only connected to our loved one in her mind. I have no interest in caring for an infant, and our loved one assured us that pregnancy would not happen.  Ugh. Ugh. 

Despite my ultimatums that night, (you cannot have a baby until you're living independently, or you must be on birth control if you live here), I am not able to control either. They may elect to stop taking birth control, and I cannot force it. Likewise, if they do get pregnant, I would not be able to force them towards adoption, nor would I be able to kick out my very sick loved one, and a baby.  

When we spoke with our loved one, my reaction was definitive, with no curiosity at all.  I didn't ask questions, and I didn't leave any room for discussion. I just said no.  I was not at my best. 

I mention all of this because in another era, my loved one could be described as having demons, just like Mary Magdalene. When our loved one was very symptomatic, they used plural pronouns. We are hungry. We don't want to go. I didn't understand until reading Mark, when the 'demoniac' responds that his name is legion, for we are many. I read that, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. My loved one and their voices were responding. Other times, my loved one uses third person to refer to themself, because the voice is responding to us, and referring to our loved one in the third person.The notion that Jesus cast out seven demons from Mary feels too close. It feels very very real, both to my loved one, and to us.

Lord Jesus, you saved Mary Magdalene from her tormenting demons. Be with my loved one. Let my loved one know that your presence and your love are all they need. While they are living with their demons, grant them peace, and comfort despite the torment. 

Lord Jesus, you approached Mary Magdalene while she was sick and tormented. You offered her love and grace. Be with me as I support my loved one who is sick and tormented. Give me the strength to give them love and grace, even when my buttons are pushed.

Lord Jesus, you healed Mary Magdalene from her demons and illness. Be with the researchers, doctors, friends, community, and caregivers of sufferers of a significant brain disease. Let us all bring your healing power to those suffering. 

All this I pray in your name.   Amen.

Mar 17 2022 Day 310 Romans 6:1–8:17

Apart from the law, sin lies dead.



I think I like Paul’s letter to Romans. And it’s so dense that I only discover that liking in little bits. The long, run-on sentences leave me scratching my head, and Paul’s point is lost. That’s why I like this little sentence. I can understand it. And if I were reading in church, I could get the sentence out without needing to take a breath in the middle.

When my oldest daughter was in middle school and early high school, every year she’d do great, until about March. Then her interest waned, and she’d struggle to keep up. It took a herculean effort on all of our parts to get her through 6th grade or 8th grade. And every year, come June, she’d be really really angry at us. We made her grades bad. We ruined her school year. We were the cause of all of her troubles.

Finally, my husband and I realized we were creating a situation where she absolutely could blame us. In our attempt to help, we’d interjected us into her world. After years of this pattern, when the stormy seas were approaching, we talked with her about what she wanted. She genuinely believed she could handle it better by herself. And so we let her. The turmoil happened, the tears and the yelling. But magically, she was not blaming us, because we had not entered the equation. Eventually she figured out that she had more ability than she’d known, and that we could be helpful, when she needed.

I’m reminded of that story when I think of Paul’s description of sin and the law. He says that without the law, sin has nothing. It is the existence of the law, whether it’s from the Hebrew commandments or Jesus’ new commandments, that sin fights against. As soon as we have something we are trying to do or not do, sin jumps in to the equation. The law says ‘thou shall not covet’. Sin says ‘don’t you need the latest smart phone because others do?’ The law says ‘love your neighbor’. Sin says ‘don’t help that person; they don’t deserve it’.

It's not that the law is bad, or that we can live outside of the law. We just need to know that sin is in the equation too, bidden or unbidden.

The comparison with my daughter’s schooling falls apart here. We were like the law, which sin fought against. We elected to remove that law, and without the law, sin lies dead. She had nothing to fight when we removed ourselves from her world. In the world of God’s law, we don’t really have the option of opting out; it’s always there, and we always know it’s there. So does sin.

Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, though we do not have to be slaves to that sin. We will still sin, because sin is in us and always fighting against God’s law. But we have already been forgiven of that sin, and do not need to feel captive to it always.

I will need to reread Romans, probably a dozen times to pick apart the dense lessons, but for now, I’m happy to have gleaned this simple one.

Mar 16 2022 Day 309 Romans 3:21–5:21

And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us



Suffering. Endurance. Character. Hope. This is a long chain of uncomfortable traits to endure before we get to Hope. Too long. I wish we could go from Suffering directly to Hope, but that’s not the way it works. At least not in my world, and not as Paul sees it.

Suffering is a great word, because it acknowledges both the external thing that caused the pain, as well as the internal reaction to that pain. There have been times when I’ve been faced with pretty minor inconveniences. A difficult situation at work, or an unpleasant boss. My suffering is great, mostly because of how I’ve responded to the unpleasantness. There are other times when the unpleasantness is significantly more dramatic; my sick loved one is hospitalized or put in jail because of their illness-induced behavior. My suffering is real.

And when I get to the place of suffering, all I can do is endure it. Sometimes the external problem goes away – the difficult situation at work clears up, or my loved one is released from jail. Until then, I endure. And sometimes, the situation does not resolve itself. My sick loved one will always be sick, and we will always have episodic crises for the rest of our lives. Thanks be to God, they’ve been relatively stable for the past six months, a record since the onset of the illness. The degree of my suffering is somewhat dependent upon those outside factors, but perhaps more dependent on how I react. And in all cases, I must endure the suffering.

And while enduring, I suppose it’s building character. Of all of these traits Paul delineates, this is the one I least like. To suggest that my suffering is building character hardly feels like a fair trade. I suppose character is something we should have, as it defines us, to both others and ourselves. But I don’t frequently think about my character. I tend more to think that it is what it is. I suspect my character has, however changed since I’ve suffered through my loved one’s illness. I just don’t think about it much.

What I do think about is the hope that results from the suffering and endurance. Living through two episodes of incarceration for my loved one and a dozen hospitalizations in the past three years makes me realize that each episode concludes. So while we are all experiencing the crisis, I am definitely suffering, but I’ve also got a greater amount of hope, having lived through previous crises. That makes the suffering easier.

As we experience suffering and live through it, we are being desensitized to the fatalist nature of suffering. Instead, we learn that we can survive and we begin to hope, in the midst of the suffering. Not that it’s any picnic, but through experience we know that we come out the other end.

In the middle of crises with my loved one, I find myself hanging on to the notion that there has never been a day that hasn’t ended much better than I’d feared. I always lay my head on my pillow knowing I endured, and I did my best. During the day and during the turmoil, I rest in that hope that I’ll reach that moment of pillow peace. And that sense of peace comes from God’s grace to get me to that feeling of hope. Again and again.

Day 308 Romans 1:1–3:20

What then? Are we any better off? No, not at all



Paul is talking to people in Rome, both Jews and Gentiles. I love his opening salutation in most of his letters, “Grace to you, and Peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ”. While we’ve grown accustomed to this two part greeting, it was probably surprising and possibly scandalous in Paul’s time. Grace to you was somewhat of a greeting to Gentiles. And Peace from God, aka Shalom, was a well known greeting to the Jews. To put them together, and add the bit about our Lord Jesus Christ brings together two groups that had previously been uncombined, and cements them with the Lord Jesus Christ. Brilliant.

Paul goes through a host of comparisons and activities, circumcision, uncircumcised, people of the Law, people outside the Law. He sets out all of these comparisons and then basically says none of it matters. We should not judge based on these divisions because people who allegedly are of God can be sinners, just like those who weren’t. And people who are uncircumcised can be more righteous than the circumcised.

Paul then challenges those who think they’re better off, that they’re better believers, or better rule-followers that No – we are not better off.

This morning, I’m thinking about whether I consider myself better because of my faith. In this respect it isn’t the thought that counts, or even the intent of my belief. It’s whether I walk the walk. Whether I am actually loving and compassionate and merciful and kind. Going to church, praying daily, getting ordained – none of that makes me inherently better or more holy. I’d hope that some of it makes me more likely to remember to behave better and to have more faith. But if my practices and words don’t result in better actions, it is for naught.

Today, I want to try to live a holy, God-filled life, regardless of whether I’m circumcised or not.

Lent 2022 - The Woman and the Cave - Week 3

This week we have the opportunity to review both scripture related to Mary Magdalene and various prayers to Mary Magdalene. 

Here is a link to the Woman and the Cave, written by iconographer Kristen Wheeler

For the scripture review, we are asked to read through the scriptures and see what stands out. Then take some markers or something to draw with, and pray/doodle. If you need inspiration about that, I'd encourage you to look at Praying in Color. It's a technique where you think about something, draw it, doodle around it, all the while praying. When my son was jumping out of planes in Army Ranger School, I wrote the names of my son and his fellow soldiers, as I prayed for their safety. It was very very good for my soul, and I stayed focused on praying for a good 30 minutes every time.  The pens and color kept my 'need to be busy' Martha traits busy, while my Mary traits prayed. 

For the prayers, we are asked to consider writing our own prayer about Mary. It could also be a prayer for someone you know who may be in Mary's position, and could use the unconditional unreasonable love from Jesus, just like Mary did. I am not normally that kind of creative person, but I will endeavor to write a prayer, and share it on Friday. Whether you share it or not, I would encourage you to give it a try.  Here's one of the listed prayers that spoke to me.

Mary Magdalene was the first to greet your risen Son and carried the news of his triumph over death to the disciples. Strengthen us to be faithful witnesses to the gospel in the world and grant your grace to all who preach and teach the faith.

Lord, hear us.
Lord, graciously hear us.

Mar 12 2022 Day 307 Acts 27:1–28:31

The natives showed us unusual kindness.

Paul is in captivity, and they’re sailing for Rome. Alas, a storm came up and the boat was smashed. But an angel told Paul no one would perish, and no one did. They land on an island, that they later learn is Malta. Paul and his companions note that the Maltese natives showed an unusual kindness.

The notion that residents of Malta would be referred to as ‘natives’ makes me think. I know that on one hand it references people who are from the area. But in scripture, we don’t hear about Hebrew natives, or Roman natives, or even Samaritan natives. These people are referenced as people. But the people of Malta seem to have been demoted to native.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that there’s anything negative about being a native. But it seems to me that the term is frequently used pejoratively – a people somehow less than the newcomers. People currently use the term with pride to indicate they’re really truly Portlanders, or Pittsburghers, but that seems like the exception to the common usage.

When I read this sentence, ‘the natives showed us unusual kindness’, I immediately imagined some tribal, uncivilized people Maybe that’s just my prejudice of the word. Malta was colonized by the Phoenicians in 700 bc, (modern day Lebanon), and then by the Romans in 200 bc, More modern history include governance by Byzantines, Romans again, Britain, France, and finally were made independent in 1964.

I ascribe 21st century usage of the term ‘native’, and while that is not likely the actual usage here, it does appear to be a put-down, or at least a pretty judgmental term. This morning, I’m thinking about why we always need to judge ourselves better than others, and why this has been happening since Paul’s time, particularly with the notion of ‘natives’.

Lent 2022 The Woman and the Cave - Week 2

 

I gave it a soul and he took that soul to heaven for me, burying it deep within him as he did for everyone he healed.

Mary has first encountered Jesus. She is a broken woman, with a broken body, broken spirit and broken mind. She's cognitive enough to know she's broken, which is a horrible fate. Jesus meets her and healed her. 

This part of the story I had envisioned many times. In Kristen Wheeler's vision, I appreciate a new part, or at least new to me. Jesus heals Mary by taking her wounds upon himself, as he does for everyone. 

I've heard plenty of words about Jesus taking away the sins of the world. In my brain, it's as if that's a magic act. Sins here.. Poof, they're gone.. Magic.  I don't suppose I've ever thought about a transaction that involves two people - me and Jesus. Or about the laws of physics, that if something exists it can change form or change place, but it does not disappear. Sins and pain and sorrow can't just disappear, although over time it can dissipate.  Jesus takes that sin and pain and sorrow. At the cross, Jesus took a whole bunch of pain and sorry on his shoulders. 

In my mortal world, I think about when a friend is in pain or sorrow or grief. I cannot necessarily make it go away, but I can share it, simply by my presence. And by sharing it, I can lessen it - even if for a little while. 

Jesus does this but much much better. When we sit with Jesus, he shares our pain to the point of taking it all on himself. 

In Kristen's vision, she also talks about Mary giving her old broken self a soul, and letting Jesus take it to heaven to bury it. I like this image. I have a loved one with schizophrenia. It's easy to blame this illness on evil or the devil. It's easy to want to banish that part of my loved one to hell. But it's a part of them. While it doesn't define them, it is them.  And there is nothing about them that I would ever want to go to hell, even the worst parts. Their whole selves are heaven-worthy.  

On a personal note, I have my own dark and twisted bits that I'd like banished. And I love the notion that these parts of me are buried in heaven. They don't define me, but they aren't separate from me. And they cannot be separated from me.  Thank you Jesus, for having the compassion and cosmic space to take all of my dark bits, my loved one's trials, the world's woes, and bury them in a holy place.  Through Jesus we can be renewed and transformed, because he keeps those parts. 

Mar 10 2021 Day 306 Acts 24:1–26:32

I cheerfully make my defense



Paul is imprisoned and appealing to the governor, Felix. He tells his whole conversion story – struck blind on the road to Damascus, regained his sight when scales fell from his eyes and he encountered Jesus. Felix is insufficiently convinced to release him, or he’s frightened of the Jews who want Paul held. Felix holds him for years, and eventually is succeeded by Festus. Paul again tells his conversion story. Festus appears unconvinced. Paul asks to appeal to the king, Agrippa. Paul appears before Agrippa, and again tells his conversion story, and appeals to the king to release him. Three times in these chapters do we hear Paul’s conversion story. For years, Paul is telling it to anyone who will listen. And it seems that it is to no avail. He remains imprisoned.

Do we have the same persistence? To tell our story, again and again. If I was Paul, I wonder if I would have given up. But not only does he continue, Paul ‘cheerfully’ makes his defense. Again and again. This persistence to tell his story coupled with his persistence to travel hither and yon, makes Paul’s persistence something to ponder.

When things got hard for Paul – when he was sent somewhere by the Spirit but then not welcomed – when he was asked to tell his story again – he kept going. He kept doing this good work.

I have a strong streak of persistence. If I’m charged with doing something, I keep trying, eventually either wearing down the brick wall in front of me, or unfortunately, wearing down me. I need to continue to discern when that determination is because of my own stubbornness or whether it’s because of some higher call that I’m following. I normally cannot tell.

Where my efforts fall short is when I’m criticized or rebuked, especially by any authority. In these instances, I quickly retreat and try another tact. I’m not one to question authority. I definitely don’t have persistence in these circumstances, and will allow others to ‘fight the man’. This morning I’m thinking about Paul’s persistence. How much was stubbornness, and how much was doing God’s will? How did he know the difference? I want to persist when it’s God’s will, and walk away when it’s my stubbornness.

Mar 9 2022 Day 305 Acts 21:1–23:35

When our days there were ended, we left and proceeded on our journey; and all of them, with wives and children, escorted us outside the city.


Paul is on a journey. In the past few days, he’s been to Cos, Rhodes, Patara and Tyre. He left Tyre and arrived in Ptolemais. At each of these stops, we learn that he encountered some people. It does not seem that he had huge crowds, but he kept going. And going.

Paul’s epic journey and the seemingly sparse crowds makes me think about current day religion. Many traditions have dwindling numbers. Many worshippers are rattling around in buildings built for hoards that are not there now. Many folks are feeling a sense of despair at the low numbers.

But think about Paul. He didn’t worship in a massive cathedral or auditorium sized worship hall. He saw the people who were there, whether that was a couple folks or a couple dozen. It didn’t matter. It doesn’t seem like he cared that there were few in attendance. He shared God’s Good News with who was there.

The accompanying reflection for this section of Acts is from Mother Theresa. She writes, “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” She did not agree with doing things big – big actions with big numbers. Rather she focused on the individual. She said that to get to love an individual, you need to come into close contact with them. You can see this in her ministry to the dying in India.

She wrote, “I believe in person to person; every person is Christ for me, and since there is only one Jesus, that person is the one person in the world at that moment.” Wow. I absolutely agree that Christ is in every person, but I get swept up in numbers, in bigger is better.

Paul didn’t give up because he saw folks a few at a time. But his persistence and epic journey resulted in the spread of Christianity, one person at a time. This morning, I’m thinking about how I might connect with people, one at a time – whether in worship or in the world, and genuinely seek and serve Christ in that person.

Day 304 Acts 18:1–20:38

About that time no little disturbance broke out concerning the Way.



Paul is in Ephesus, a town in modern-day Turkey, where a riot breaks out. There is a healthy trade of people making statues for the goddess Artemis. A Jesus-follower tells the people that a god made by human hands is no god. The people realize this threatens both their livelihood as human-made gods, and their practice of worshipping Artemis. And so there is conflict.

Today, we don’t have fights over Artemis, but we have plenty of fights. Plenty of dissent and fighting. Plenty of war and violence. The reasons are different, but the effect on individuals and society is the same.

I saw a fascinating series of prints of Jesus washing a person’s feet, people it would be hard to imagine. Jesus washing the feet of the police officer. And the inmate. Of the Ukrainian and of Putin. Of the person refusing vaccines, and the health care worker. For more information or to buy these beautiful and haunting prints, see https://saltandgoldstore.com/collections/all/footwashing-series

There is no shortage of disagreements and dissent. The accompanying reflection for this section of Acts is from Eugene Peterson, author of The Word. He writes, “People submerged in a culture swarming with lies and malice feel as if they are drowning in it: they can trust nothing they hear, depend on no one they meet.” This is increasingly the setting I find myself. Peterson continues that people with this sense of dissatisfaction with the current world, coupled with a desire for a better way of peace and love, can set a person on the pilgrim’s journey for God.

He writes,” As long as we think the next election might eliminate crime and establish justice or another scientific breakthrough might save the environment or another pay raise might push us over the edge of anxiety into a life of tranquility, we are not likely to risk the arduous uncertainties of the life of faith.” Yes!

I’m seeing that in people I love, people who have professed a deep skepticism of God. They are now talking about God’s way, and about how God wouldn’t want all of this fighting, hurt and despair.

In this time when many traditional religions are struggling with dwindling numbers, I’m wondering if the mounting turmoil in the world might turn people back to God. I’m not suggesting the turmoil will result in an uptick in any particular way of worshipping. But Peterson may be right, that “A person has to be fed up with the ways of the world before he, before she, acquires an appetite for the world of grace.”

This morning, I’m thinking about how I might help show others the grace of God in a way that seems so obviously the antidote to the current despair. In order to have God’s kingdom here, we need more pilgrims. We need more people who believe that there is an alternative to the worry and fretting and despair. 

Lent 2022 - Week 2 - The Woman and the Cave - Vision

 This week, we jump right in to the vision Kristen Wheeler had, that prompted her to create this Lenten Journey. 

Here's a link to the PDF version of the guide. 

womanandcave

For this week, I will be reading the story, "The Woman and the Cave", beginning on page 6 of her guide.  I will also be listening to the audio version Kristen recorded, found here: 

https://www.thehiveapiary.com/post/shewasthefirst

I have read through the story quickly, and here are a few of my quick thoughts:

• This is a vision from a creative person about an important and under-valued person from our Christian story. It is not scripture It is one person's interpretation.  I say this in NO WAY to diminish her vision or story, but to ask that anyone reading it get beyond the visionary liberties taken. Because of her visions, there are parts of this story you have not read in scripture. That's ok. Don't get hung up on the parts that differ from your understanding or knowledge about Mary Magdalene.  

• The activity after the reading (p. 11) asks us to do two things. The first is to imagine the scene. See, smell, feel, listen. Sit with the story so you can understand it with your senses.  As a sensory learner and understander, I love this. It makes things like visions and dreams easier for me to understand. If you're an intuit, try to get in touch with your senses. If you're a sensory person, rejoice in this opportunity to let your senses soar. 

• The second activity is to spend time with the imagery of the cave. After last week's exercise to learn Plato's Cave story, this week, we place Mary in a cave and imagine it. We're invited to grab pictures from the internet, or draw pictures. I will try to draw, working on my growing edge of creativity.  

• After Kristen's vision (p. 6), She's listed several scripture verses that narrate Mary's story (p. 12) Read through those, and then reconsider Kristen's vision. 

• If you are a visionary or an intuit, I'd invite you to sit with the scripture verses and if so inspired, share your own Mary narrative. To be clear, I don't do this to dismiss Kristen's at all, but rather to let the Spirit move you as you interact with this material.  

There is an activity at the end of the offered scriptures, but I will tackle that next week. I just offered the scripture readings for this week's activity to ground us in what's already written from the men who wrote the scripture. 

Thank you for joining me on this journey. 

House Update - Little Hallway Done

 

A quick update - 

This week's progress was slower than we anticipated. We started the week in a 7 car pileup on the freeway, and our car was totaled. Amazingly everyone was ok. I have a minor concussion,  which make naps more appealing than working. I have a lingering headache, but otherwise, we're both just fine. 

So back to the updates..

Faded Clergy Shirt Black/Green

I'd purchased a dark green that was named Juniper, but it should have been named Faded-Formerly-Black-Now-Dark-Green-Clergy-Shirt. 

That was too dark, so we went up the next lighter color.  It's still dark green but light enough that we liked it. 

Slightly lighter dark green

There's a hallway between the dining room and the kitchen that we decided to also paint this accent color dark green, so I prepped that hallway. That work involved cutting square holes in the plaster so I could patch jagged holes with drywall. Then I spackled the seams of the patch, and all of the other little holes in the plaster and on the wood trim and doorways. 

I primed the walls and trim, then painted the trim and wall. The trim is a color that will match the new Pella windows that will come in someday, a light cream color.  The walls were the slightly darker light green. 

Battery remote art light

There was no power in that little hallway and we had enough of running electric in the kitchen so I got ingenious.  I purchased a battery powered remote control art light and put it up high in the little hallway. 

I purchased a 24" x 36" frame and mounted it on the wall in the hall.  We will swap out pictures as the mood strikes us.  Right now, I have a great wintery tree.

With the little light, and the dark paint, I'm deeply satisfied with the hallway.  Another space done!  

This weekend, we plan to prime and paint the kitchen.  Coming along nicely. 

Here's the little light above the
opposite wall

This is the hallway during
daylight hours, and lights on.

This is the hallway at night 
with the art light on

View from dining room into kitchen

Lent 2022 – The Woman and the Cave Week 1 – Introduction

Anyone who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light. 

Plato’s Cave

Kristen Wheeler, author of this Journey relates that it all started with a vision. I have had precisely one vision or experience that I could attribute to God. I have a friend who pointed out that a vivid dream I had probably 20 years ago was also a God-thing.  I’m a little thick when it comes to recognizing visions or theophanies (great word, look it up).  I had a colleague who suggested that regardless of whether you have one or dozens of visions, the challenge is to figure out why that vision, why that time, why you.  It’s between you and God, and there’s nothing accidental about the timing or content. It’s tempting to put such visions in a display case, and store them away as amazing events without evaluating or digging into them. I believe we lose the importance then. 

My single self-identified vision resulted in a lengthy search for meaning, and the eventual acknowledgment of God’s call to me as a deacon.  Visions matter and should be explored. What do you think about visions? Have you had any and what resulted?

This reflective journey relies partly on Plato’s “The Allegory of the Cave”.  If you haven’t looked into it at all, I’d recommend you do. If you’ve been following me for any time, you know I am definitely not cut out for philosophy of any kind; it almost makes my head hurt.  But wanting to dig deep into this journey (mostly for my interest in Mary Magdalene), I read and wrestled with The Cave. 

I will certainly not do it justice, but it’s important to understand the allegory a little.  Here’s my best attempt.  

• Some people are captive in a cave. They’re chained so they face a wall, and cannot look at anything but the wall.  Behind them is a low wall, a walkway, and a fire, in that order. 

• Other people walk on the walkway, and carry things. The wall is high enough that it obscures the people, but not what they’re carrying. Because of the fire behind the walkway, the objects that are carried are shadowed on the wall in front of the captives. They cannot see the people walking, just the shadows of what they’re carrying. 

• All the captives know is the shadows of the objects. They do not know and cannot see the objects themselves, nor the people. 

*  (Carter’s aha about this)  We spend much time chained to a wall. We see shadows on the wall and think it’s a real thing. It’s not. It’s just a shadow of a secondary thing – we don’t even see the people walking. Just shadows of what they’re carrying. We think it’s all there is.  We perceive shadows of things as reality. It’s not. 

• One prisoner is freed, and turns around, sees the fire and realizes that the shadows are not real, or at least they’re only hints at what is real. He figures this out all without leaving the cave, and just by turning around and seeing the fire and the people walking. 

• The freed prisoner leaves the cave and momentarily is blinded by the light.  Eventually, his eyes adjust and he realizes that his epiphany about reality in the cave is nothing, compared to the reality outside the cave. He marvels at the new, bright reality outside the cave. 

• The freed captive returns to the cave to describe what he’s seen and experienced in turning around, and in leaving the cave. 

• When he enters the cave, the darkness temporarily blinds him, and he cannot see. 

• The remaining wall-facing captives believe that whatever is outside, beyond their very limited world, is what blinded him. They contentedly dismiss notions of “reality” as described by the freed captive, and return to their shadow reality. 

* (Carter’s aha about this) Sometimes I’m the freed captive, who has my moment of clarity. I try to return and share what I’ve seen and experienced. It’s unheeded, because it’s so impossible to relate. I’ve read a similar Sufi story with a punchline something like, an ocean frog could never describe the ocean to a pond frog. 

* Frequently, I’m the captive who doubts and questions a new frightening reality, and instead returns to my certain and unreal notion of the real. 

I can imagine Mary’s literal “come to Jesus” moment, when she saw the light and realized there was a whole different reality than the one she’d previously know. I can imagine her momentary blindness as she reenters the cave, and tries to explain to others what she’s seen. I’m very intrigued in digging deeper into her experience, and how it relates to me.  

What do you think?

Logistical note: If you are interested in commenting but want be anonymous, feel free to message me and I’ll post it anonymously. I want everyone to feel free to comment and share. I believe that if you comment directly on the blog, you can comment anonymously.  Let me know if that’s not the case. 

Mar 3 2022 Day 303 Acts 15:22–17:34

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.



Paul and Silas were imprisoned, I believe in Philippi. A girl slave had the power of divination, and her owners used that fortune telling power to make money. It appears she was pestering Paul and Silas, proclaiming repeatedly that “These men are slaves of the most High God, who proclaim to you a way of salvation.” While I’m not sure the problem with her message, Paul and Silas ordered the spirit to come out of her. When her owners figured out what had happened, and that they’d no longer be able to make money off the girl, they dragged Paul and Silas to the magistrates and had them imprisoned. While imprisoned, an earthquake shook the prison and loosed their chains. In the morning, they were released.

This morning, I’m thinking about how they sang songs and prayed to God, despite their imprisonment and flogging. They were of course aware of their plight – their current captivity and injuries, as well as their unknown future. And yet they sang. I want to be like Paul and Silas.

This immediately reminded me of a song by Sara Groves, When the Saints (https://youtu.be/xc6X_ZBpqQs). Please give it a listen.   

This is a short reflection. I have a headache. Tuesday night, we were involved in a 7 car pile-up on the freeway. Our car was totaled, as a pickup truck plowed into our car. After several hours stuck in the fast lane of the freeway, everyone walked away. Cars were damaged, but the people all were unscathed. I have a mild concussion, but otherwise, extremely grateful and just fine. I don’t share to elicit sympathy or shock, but just to explain why I’m letting Sara Groves write my reflection this morning!

And when the saints go marching in, I want to be one of them.

Week 1 - Lent 2022 - Introduction

 

Created by Kristen Wheeler

   And so Lent begins.   

As I mentioned yesterday, I will be praying my way through this resource, The Woman and the Cave, created by Kristen Wheeler, and I invite you to join me.  Starting next week, on Monday, I'll outline what I'm focusing on for the week, and on Friday, I'll post something inviting us to share online.  

To start this journey, I plan to read the introduction of the journey, and seek out more information about Plato's Allegory of the Cave. Although it's a short week, I will share my thoughts about this and kick off our journey this Friday, March 4. During that first online sharing opportunity, I'd welcome your comments and thoughts not only about the Cave, but also about a few logistical thoughts I've had.  

• While I'm clearly willing to share my innermost blatherings, maybe not everyone is. If folks are really going to participate, and want it more private, like just the group participating, I can create a group so it's just us. Let me know. 

• If it would be more useful to gather virtually online, like a Zoom meeting or something, please let me know and I can set something up. Given work schedules, I'm thinking Saturday late morning, but whatever works for most.

• I have some friends who are not on Facebook but would be interested. I would be willing to migrate this to something more universally acceptable if that would be useful for anyone else. I'm thinking a Google Group, although they can be clunky.

I welcome your comments and thoughts.  Thank you for joining me on this journey. 

Day 303 - A Lenten Break

 As I pray about what I’m going to intentionally do during Lent, I am drawn to a Lenten Prayer Journey resource written by a friend and iconographer. Kristen Wheeler has written a short reflection about Mary Magdalene, who was called the Apostle to the Apostles. From a variety of places and even more reasons, Mary’s story and wisdom has been overlooked in Christianity. For the early Roman Catholic church, her gender and sexuality demoted her to the sinful prostitute with seven demons. Many protestant and evangelical traditions are not comfortable with saints and icons, and focus on what the canonized scripture literally says. 

For Lent this year, I’m going to make my way through this journal, The Woman and the Cave. On Mondays I’ll share what I’m focusing on for that week, and Fridays, I’ll share my reflections. My hope is that some of you will join me, and our reflections can be mutual honest places to wrestle with Mary’s truths. Kristin Wheeler, author and icon writer is invited too.  

My own thoughts about icons and saints. I don’t believe an icon is a graven image. I believe it’s more like the cross. The cross isn’t just two perpendicular sticks. It isn’t even just the sign of ancient Roman execution. It’s so much more. When I contemplate on the cross, there’s a multitude of meanings that change as I do. 

Another analogy, perhaps less glamourous is that an icon is an image that represents something else. When you see a red light at a traffic stop, you know that it means to stop. It doesn’t say stop, it means stop. 

Icons that include people’s faces are helpful for me, as I’m such a concrete thinker. To see the face of Jesus, to look in his eyes, I am viscerally affected by the humanity of Jesus.  

I have a guest room in my new-to-me-house. I will be making some modifications to it, to make it more appealing, and I will take my computer and journal and candle and markers upstairs every morning to make space for God, and more connection between me and God during Lent. This Lent I’ll use this Prayer Journal.  

I hope that I will continue periodically with my “Year through the Bible” reflections, but they may not be daily. I need to do something different. I only have 62 days to go before I’m done with the consecutive reading through the Bible, and I really want to finish, so hopefully. ..

I also will continue to share updates of the massive remodel and resurrection of this house. That work will continue. Updates of my loved one with the significant brain disorder will be provided, when there’s anything new to say.  

In the meantime, I invite you to join me on this Lenten Journey. If you are not interested in joining, I hope you enjoy my Woman and the Cave reflections. Happy Shrove Tuesday.