I cheerfully make my defense
Paul is imprisoned and appealing to the governor, Felix. He tells his whole conversion story – struck blind on the road to Damascus, regained his sight when scales fell from his eyes and he encountered Jesus. Felix is insufficiently convinced to release him, or he’s frightened of the Jews who want Paul held. Felix holds him for years, and eventually is succeeded by Festus. Paul again tells his conversion story. Festus appears unconvinced. Paul asks to appeal to the king, Agrippa. Paul appears before Agrippa, and again tells his conversion story, and appeals to the king to release him. Three times in these chapters do we hear Paul’s conversion story. For years, Paul is telling it to anyone who will listen. And it seems that it is to no avail. He remains imprisoned.
Do we have the same persistence? To tell our story, again and again. If I was Paul, I wonder if I would have given up. But not only does he continue, Paul ‘cheerfully’ makes his defense. Again and again. This persistence to tell his story coupled with his persistence to travel hither and yon, makes Paul’s persistence something to ponder.
When things got hard for Paul – when he was sent somewhere by the Spirit but then not welcomed – when he was asked to tell his story again – he kept going. He kept doing this good work.
I have a strong streak of persistence. If I’m charged with doing something, I keep trying, eventually either wearing down the brick wall in front of me, or unfortunately, wearing down me. I need to continue to discern when that determination is because of my own stubbornness or whether it’s because of some higher call that I’m following. I normally cannot tell.
Where my efforts fall short is when I’m criticized or rebuked, especially by any authority. In these instances, I quickly retreat and try another tact. I’m not one to question authority. I definitely don’t have persistence in these circumstances, and will allow others to ‘fight the man’. This morning I’m thinking about Paul’s persistence. How much was stubbornness, and how much was doing God’s will? How did he know the difference? I want to persist when it’s God’s will, and walk away when it’s my stubbornness.
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