Aug 12 2020 Acts 6:1-15

Now during those days, when the disciples were increasing in number, the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution of food. 

And so it began. This story from Acts is the source from which I was ordained a deacon. At that time, it’s fair to correlate all the disciples with modern-day bishops or the equivalent. They soon realized that they had too much ‘church management’ to do and were, in fact, neglecting the widows, orphans, and poor, while they tended the flock already gathered. In response, they sought out people to continue the ministry to the people outside the flock already gathered. Seven were gathered, and we hear the most about Stephen, stoned to death for his prophetic pesky messages, and Phillip who converted and was converted by the eunuch. 

My own ‘call story’ is one I wouldn’t have believed if it hadn’t happened to me. Back in 1997, we had a new fiery bishop, who’d come to visit our church on her regular rounds of all churches. She stood in the pulpit, and I way in the back in the choir loft. In the middle of her sermon, I saw something that could only be described as a whoosh, coming up the aisle from the pulpit towards me. I looked around, and my fellow singers were blithely listening, oblivious to this thing. As a strong logical, linear thinker, this is not a realm in which I dwell. 

I had a meeting with my priest a few days later, that I’d set up weeks before because I was feeling that my spiritual relationship with God was like an old married couple: solid, but a little boring. Upon meeting my priest, he asked about my underwhelming relationship, and all I could do was say, “Um, about that boring bit. . . “  He chuckled and said God’s got a great sense of humor and timing.

I was hoping he’d tell me what it meant, and he said that no, that was my job, to think and pray and wonder about why then, why her, why that. Hmm. I walked around for months feeling like the bird from “Are You My Mother?”, wondering if everything I saw was the reason for something I didn’t understand. I was getting discouraged, with no more theophanies (human experiences of God), and no understanding of why then, why that. 

About that time the same bishop was going to return for another visit to our church, and to give kids a chance to ‘confirm’ their baptism, which occurred on their behalf as infants. My son was at the right age for that confirmation, so we signed up for him to be confirmed, and I’d renew my baptismal vows at the same time. So we went to weekly confirmation classes. 

It was during one of those classes I figured out why. The priest was explaining the difference between bishops, priests and deacons, explaining that bishops oversaw large areas, priests oversaw smaller areas on behalf of the bishop, and deacons made sure the system continued to worry about and care about and remember the needs of the least, the last and the lost, or the widows, orphans and poor. Deacons care for the people in need, and also encourage and enable the churched folks to get out there and help too. He said if deacons had a motto it would be that they comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable. I was immediately lost. Hmm. I can do that. I can do that really well, especially the afflicting part. 

It took me several weeks to muster up the courage to again talk with my priest. Um, about that deacon thing. I think I might be called to be a deacon. He smiled, and asked me what took me so long to figure that out. Apparently, I’m thick and need whooshes, and mottos, and decades of life experiences to figure it out. After eight years of prayer, study, and discernment, I was ordained a deacon. 

This morning, I’m thinking about all of the unordained deacons out there, people called to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. Whether you’re ordained or not, Christian or not, Episcopalian or not, we are all called to serve. And if you have the gift to do so, afflict the comfortable among us, so they can receive the great rewards of serving too.  

 

Aug 2 2020 Judges 6:1-24

But sir, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?

The Israelites have been hounded and pursued by the Midianites and Amalekites. This has happened, we are told, because the Israelites did what was evil in God’s sight. I still maintain this isn’t the God Jesus describes and knows, but I digress. 

An angel of the Lord appears before Gideon and tells him, ‘the Lord is with you’. Gideon is rightly confused with the paradox created by an angel of the Lord, in the midst of all of their anguish. Gideon asks why all of this has happened to them, if the Lord was with them. The banter goes on, with the angel commissioning Gideon to rise up and take on the Midianites and Gideon protesting. There is no clear answer as to why all of this has happened to the Israelites if God is with the answer. Sitting here, thousands of years later, with a pandemic killing thousands and racial tension in the US, and other illnesses present, I was hoping for a nice, tidy answer. Nope. 

But if there was a tidy answer, I probably could find fault with it, or it wouldn’t precisely fit my understanding of today’s challenges, so it’s probably better that the answer comes in snippets, that force me to think and pray about it, in my context. 

Instead of answering Gideon, the angel gives Gideon a charge and says, I commission you. I love this part, because I believe that we each are commissioned by God to do something. Not to be mistaken with self-determined or self-directed actions. But when we are commissioned or called by God to do something, we already have the power to make it happen, however unlikely. It requires prayer and discernment to hear God’s call and it’s not always as clear as a bell. But when it’s of God, it just feels right. As my current boss said, “if it is of God, it will work out”. 

Gideon asks for a sign, to be sure this messenger angel is legit, and he’s given a sign of an altar spontaneously combusting. He’s afraid, and God answers with what we hear throughout the Gospels from Jesus, “Peace be with you. Do not Fear”  

What I take from all of this is that God commissions us for specific work or a task, or an action, or a career – and these can definitely change. If we ask for a sign, we might get one that’s frightening, so be careful what you ask for. And regardless, we need to remember that we are given God’s peace. And we are not to fear. God is with us. 

Back to today. In the world, we’ve got this pandemic raging, and justified racial unrest. The economic impacts of the pandemic are just beginning to be felt, and will likely be a burden for a decade. How can God be with us, if all of this bad stuff happens?  Like with Gideon, we are not likely to get a simple tidy answer. But also from Gideon’s story, we get clues. We are all commissioned to do something. Some work in hospitals, some take care of their family, others take care of the hungry. If it is of God, you know it is right. We are commissioned by God to do our little bits. And we are to do it with peace, and without fear. God is absolutely with us in our commissioned work. 

In my home world, my sick loved one has determined that the medicine they were on was making them feel sick, and also again believes they are not sick after all, a classic symptom of one diagnosis they’ve received. For more information on this fascinating symptom, please see the wonderful Ted Talk from author, Xavier Amador, “I’m not sick, I don’t need help”. My husband and I had suspected that the medicine was not being taken, as behaviors started to change. This is not our first rodeo, as our loved one has been hospitalized five times in 2020, and we have been able to watch the progression or maybe regression, with pretty accurate predictions about what’s next. 

A new factor in this round is their self-published autobiography, thanks to Amazon self-publishing. Our loved one has promoted this book, and told us about it, so being supportive parents, we looked it up, and sure enough, there’s a book on Amazon, published by Bublesz Doubt, called Jessie. It is eight pages long and costs $10. It’s fascinating, foul mouthed, scattered, and unfortunately includes several accusations that are painful to read, and even more painful when we realize that this is what our loved one believes. 

In my experience, their health trajectory will not turn around until forced intervention. It’s like a slow motion accident, that you must watch but cannot affect. 

If the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?

This morning, I’m thinking about what it is I’m commissioned to do, in my house, in my community, and in my world. In big and little ways, we are all commissioned to do big and little things. We are to do them with peace. And we are not to fear. I genuinely believe that. And by spending some time thinking about Gideon, I can feel that peace too.