Brothers and sisters, do not be weary in doing what is right.
My sick loved one has taught me a lot. One thing I’ve learned is very similar to this appeal from Paul, do not be weary in doing what is right.
Very frequently, the rules of common sense or consequences are missing or distorted in conversations with someone with schizophrenia. What we believe is logical makes no sense to them, and conversely, what makes perfect sense to them makes no sense to us. Their sense of right and wrong, real and unreal, visible and invisible is warped by the brain disorder.
My husband and I try to do what’s right, and it’s met with anger and frustration, as our loved one truly doesn’t understand or see things the same as we do. We’ve taken to consoling each other that it’s always right to do what’s right. That seems redundant or unnecessary. But with this illness, there is no common understanding of what’s right. Even when you’re parenting a toddler or teen, there is a glimmer of recognition of what’s right and wrong. But not so with this brain disorder. We frequently second guess ourselves because there’s no common understanding. It’s always right to do what’s right.
Paul is appealing to the people of Thessaloniki for a second time. Apparently his first letter was read by some as a defense of idleness, waiting for Jesus to return, or as a defense used by false teachers to have the people follow the false teachers. Paul urges them to not weary in doing what’s right. Stay the course. Don’t be idle.
This morning, I’m thinking about ways to continue to do right, without feeling weary. Part of the answer is relying on my husband, and perhaps more is to find more moments of prayerful respite.
Pray without ceasing.
Oh, if it were that simple. Last night, our loved one heard my husband get up to let the cat out in the middle of the night. Having heard that he was ‘up’, they called my husband to see if they could borrow something. I assure you it was not a prayer that was on my lips. And earlier yesterday, water was pouring into my living room, through a previously small hole in ceiling. It was not the recently repaired roof failing, but rather a poorly place window air conditioner, that was collecting rain, and sheeting it down into the living room. No prayers there, either. Or even during the day, when I had no energy and sat and binge-watched stupid crime TV. No prayers then.
I like the notion of praying without ceasing, but I cannot manage to do it, for even part of a day. I wonder if Paul really did. Sure, in my better moments I can pray through boredom, insomnia, anger, frustration. But mostly not.
The accompanying reflection is from the mystic book, The Cloud of Unknowing. In it, the author says that, “Prayer in itself is nothing but a devout reaching out directly to God in order to attain the good and to do away with evil.”. They write that only two prayers are really ever needed, without thought or pensiveness. The first prayer is to banish sin, evil and death, and simply is sin. God knows what that prayer is, and it’s simple enough, we should be able to pray it, even without ceasing. The other prayer is equally short, and equally simple. God. The author writes, “Do not wonder why I set these words above all others. If I could think of any shorter words which so completely contained in themselves all good and all evil as do these two words, or if God taught me to use any other words, I would take them and leave these two”. They continue that if these words don’t strike a chord with you, leave them and take up equally simple prayer words.
I’m reminded of the book by Annie Lamott, where she’s done just that. Her book, “Help. Thanks. Wow”, are her three prayer words, and similar to the Cloud of Unknowing, she says that these three simple words are all we need. I’m not sure whether those are my three words, but I appreciate a more modern version of the Cloud of Unknowing’s advice of short, simple prayer word.
This morning, I’m thinking about the times in my life where I find it hardest to pray, and to think of the word or words that might become my super-simple prayer word, to help me take a step closer to praying without ceasing.
