Feb 20 2020 John 8: 30-32 Commemoration of Frederick Douglass

Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

Frederick Douglass was born a slave, secretly learned to read, and escaped his slave owner. He is known as a great orator, and spoke out against slavery. Eventually he travelled to England, where there was less chance of recapture. He raised enough awareness and money to buy out his master’s legal claim to him. Upon his return, he continued to speak out against slavery, and in particular against churches that didn’t disavow slavery. He was a strong proponent of racial integration, and felt that all should be free and equal.

The reading appointed for Douglass’ commemoration includes that beautiful line about how to be free. It’s not about slavery, or ownership, or wealth. Jesus says that if we follow his word, we will know the truth. And it’s that truth that will make us free.

I have glimpses of this freedom, in the midst of my family’s challenges. Yesterday for example.

We’ve learned that our sick loved one may be being released within a few weeks. Last weekend, we visited them, for the first time since New Year’s, at the hospital where they remain committed. They’ve decided that they’d like to return to our home, in part because the more independent options involve significant waiting lists, and our loved one can’t fathom what that wait would look like.

We’re beginning to discuss how that re-entry will look. What are expectations on both sides of living with this significant persistent mental health issue. Yesterday, in the midst of my day-job, I worked on payee bank accounts, and learned that insurance is possibly the cause of an unexpectedly early release. Meanwhile, our loved one has not provided a release for anyone to connect with us regarding their care, or their release plan, even though it appears we’re the intended host.

Yesterday, I was untangling and wrestling with banks and payee accounts, hospitals and HPPA, discharge plans and insurance, counselors and billing agents. By lunch time, I was exhausted and felt ill-equipped to handle all of that. Then I remembered. I don’t necessarily have to handle it all. If I keep my eyes set on God, time will pass, and at some point we’ll know what’s going to happen with our loved one, with insurance, with their discharge. We’ll know all of that with or without my fretting, and trying to control things.

The words of Jesus I remembered yesterday were along the lines of, do not be afraid. I had been increasingly fearful of all of the possible bad outcomes, and all of the things I should be managing. But when I remembered that my loved one actually has a savior, and it’s not me, when I remembered that I’m not asked or expected to control everything, when I remembered that God’s got this, I could relax a little.

I’m not suggesting I can stop my work as payee, and parent. But if it’s not done perfectly, or if I don’t know everything, or haven’t planned for every possible scenario, days will continue to pass, and I’ll manage whatever is thrown my way. I was surprisingly more peaceful in the afternoon, after realizing I couldn’t and shouldn’t fear, fret or control. I was actually free from that worry and pain. Nothing had changed in the external world, but inside, I was made free.

This morning I’m thinking about how to hold that lesson close. God’s truth will make me free, any time, any where.