Wednesday, May 5, 2021
May 5 2021 Day 85 2 Kings 1:1–8:15
[I]f the prophet had commanded you to do something difficult, would you not have done it?
Naaman has leprosy. He’s gone to Elisha to be healed. Elisha tells him to go wash seven times in the nearby river. Naaman leaves angry, saying that aren’t the rivers in Damascus better than the rivers in Israel? He came to be healed, and he could have just as easily washed in his own rivers, without the travel, without the humility. His servants pointed out, however that if the cure had been something more difficult, Naaman would have done it without question. So Naaman goes into the Israeli river, washes seven times, and is made clean.
I’m struck by this human tendency to dismiss the easy, to seek complicated things when simpler things would do. If what Naaman wanted was to be healed, what did he have to lose to wash in that river?
Perhaps he’d presumed that his problem was so complex that it couldn’t be resolved with a simple fix. His big, complex problems deserved big, complex fixes. Maybe he assumed that he deserved a big fix, that it would say more about the bigness of his dilemma. But that’s backwards, isn’t it? You’d think that humanity would seek the simpler, easier solution, the path of least resistance. But when it comes to our problems, we want to think they’re a big hairy mess that no simple solution could resolve. After all, if a simple solution fixed it, maybe it wasn’t so big of a problem.
I have done this too. My problems are certainly more complex than a simple fix, so when the simple counsel is offered, it’s hard to not be skeptical. Note to self, pay attention to the simple solutions. They might just work.
In my home world, I can see places where the simple solution should be given a try. My sick loved one is currently living on our property in a tent, and has been since we found them at a homeless encampment 2 hours away. Our loved one is not taking medicine, and not making sense to me. Yesterday, they talked to the police to try to file a restraining order on me because they overheard me talking about my past week, which involved parts of their story too. They continue to wear a helmet in the house, because someone might hit them in the head.
The complicated solution, the solution that matches my perceived understanding of the complicated problem involves medicines (they aren’t taking and have sworn never to), a court determination of the need for hospitalization (which would be a huge stressor for everyone), and a hospitalization (which our loved one has sworn to avoid, and honestly won’t cure them). Although it would provide a respite for me, that complex solution is hard, stressing, and temporary.
The simpler response, the response that causes the least amount of stress is to support our loved one as they live in the tent. They’re not hurting anyone, and most importantly, happy. It may not be a long term cure, but given the nature of disease, there is no cure, long term or short term. Why should I decide that their way of life, their way of seeing things is not right? I don’t think I’d be happy living in a tent, but I’m not, so it doesn’t matter. Besides, living in a tent might in fact be a better option than meds that drastically alter personality and thinking, a contentious court battle, and a frightening hospitalization.
If someone could give me a 1000 step process to make my loved one happy, I’d take those steps. Today, I have a much simpler option which is to support them right where they are, as long as they’re happy and not hurting anyone. This morning, I’m thinking about taking the easy option for once.
Tuesday, May 4, 2021
May 4 2021 Day 84
I hate him, for he never prophesies anything favorable about me, but only disaster.”
The King of Israel is talking with the King of Judah. The King of Israel has asked four hundred prophesies about whether he should got to battle against Ramoth-gilead. Despite their collective response that yes, Israel should go into battle, the King of Judah wasn’t so sure, and asked for a 401st opinion. The King of Israel’s response was that yes, there was one more, but he hated that one because he never prophesies anything favorable about him, only disaster.
First of all, why would you need another opinion if 400 prophesies concur that you should take a specific course of action? Then again, don’t we all do this? Shop for better advice when we don’t like the first advice? I’m not talking about getting a second medical opinion, which seems like a reasonable check and balance when it comes to expensive and risky medical procedures.
I’m talking about shopping for the best answer. Anyone with kids, or who was once a kid, knows how this works. One parent is the enforcer, one is the nice one. Kids learned to not only shop for the better answer but to skip the first question entirely. The same principle applies, though. We seek advice that we want to hear.
The other thing about this that is so convicting is the part where the King actually hates the 401st prophecy because it’s always disaster. It’s one thing to avoid the feedback of people whose counsel you don’t like, it’s another thing entirely to hate the person offering the counsel.
In my home, I’m the enforcer, and my husband is the pushover. All of our kids have known this and used it to their advantage. And relationships with the kids was more strained during those enforcement years because of this phenomenon of hating the person with the disastrous counsel, or the person with the less-favorable ruling. Luckily, it’s a strain that generally only lasts as long as that power dynamic is in effect; with my adult children, relationships are fine. I’m sure they both would recall that I played the bad cop to my husband’s good cop, but everyone is happy to let bygones be bygones.
Why is it that we seek the counsel of those who will support our view? Is it the same as us seeking and worshipping a God who supports our view? Do we really need that much positive external affirmations that we’re willing to dismiss others who disagree with us, who’d offer prophesies of disaster? Are we willing to hate them because of their views? Unfortunately, it seems like the answer is yes, we are.
This morning, I’m thinking about the wisdom of those who disagree with me, about what they might teach me about a different world view. In the book, The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, he writes that we should thank our enemies and those who disagree with us. It’s through those people that we best learn the traits of forgiveness, tolerance, compassion and empathy. We should thank them for giving us so many opportunities to hone our skills. Can we do that with people who disagree with us?
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