I hate him, for he never prophesies anything favorable about me, but only disaster.”
The King of Israel is talking with the King of Judah. The King of Israel has asked four hundred prophesies about whether he should got to battle against Ramoth-gilead. Despite their collective response that yes, Israel should go into battle, the King of Judah wasn’t so sure, and asked for a 401st opinion. The King of Israel’s response was that yes, there was one more, but he hated that one because he never prophesies anything favorable about him, only disaster.
First of all, why would you need another opinion if 400 prophesies concur that you should take a specific course of action? Then again, don’t we all do this? Shop for better advice when we don’t like the first advice? I’m not talking about getting a second medical opinion, which seems like a reasonable check and balance when it comes to expensive and risky medical procedures.
I’m talking about shopping for the best answer. Anyone with kids, or who was once a kid, knows how this works. One parent is the enforcer, one is the nice one. Kids learned to not only shop for the better answer but to skip the first question entirely. The same principle applies, though. We seek advice that we want to hear.
The other thing about this that is so convicting is the part where the King actually hates the 401st prophecy because it’s always disaster. It’s one thing to avoid the feedback of people whose counsel you don’t like, it’s another thing entirely to hate the person offering the counsel.
In my home, I’m the enforcer, and my husband is the pushover. All of our kids have known this and used it to their advantage. And relationships with the kids was more strained during those enforcement years because of this phenomenon of hating the person with the disastrous counsel, or the person with the less-favorable ruling. Luckily, it’s a strain that generally only lasts as long as that power dynamic is in effect; with my adult children, relationships are fine. I’m sure they both would recall that I played the bad cop to my husband’s good cop, but everyone is happy to let bygones be bygones.
Why is it that we seek the counsel of those who will support our view? Is it the same as us seeking and worshipping a God who supports our view? Do we really need that much positive external affirmations that we’re willing to dismiss others who disagree with us, who’d offer prophesies of disaster? Are we willing to hate them because of their views? Unfortunately, it seems like the answer is yes, we are.
This morning, I’m thinking about the wisdom of those who disagree with me, about what they might teach me about a different world view. In the book, The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, he writes that we should thank our enemies and those who disagree with us. It’s through those people that we best learn the traits of forgiveness, tolerance, compassion and empathy. We should thank them for giving us so many opportunities to hone our skills. Can we do that with people who disagree with us?
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