May 14 2021 Day 93 1 Chronicles 13:1–16:43



David was afraid of God that day; he said, “How can I bring the ark of God into my care?”

Poor Uzzah. He’s travelling with David and the ark, and the oxen shake the ark, so Uzzah puts his hand out to steady the ark, lest if fall. Apparently, God did not like this, Uzzah touching the ark, so God struck him down and he died. Meanwhile, David is supposed to be taking the ark for safe keeping, and after seeing Uzzah struck down, he has second thoughts. More than that, he is afraid of God that day. If I’d seen God strike someone down for doing something I might inadvertently do, I’d be afraid too.

The reflection accompanying the reading asks if I’ve ever been afraid of God. Without hesitation, I can say no, I’ve never been afraid of God. I have absolute faith God’s plan will ultimately be good and right and light. The road to get there isn’t always easy, but I trust that the end game is good.

I know others who fear God, or fear God’s actions. I don’t understand that, as I don’t think God does mean or bad things. I’m not sure what to say about poor Uzzah. Maybe he had a heart condition, and the timing of his fatal attack resulted in David drawing the conclusion that it was God’s doing. Or maybe Uzzah had horrible things going on in his world, and his death was actually the best thing for him. Or maybe I’m naïve, and should be more fearful of a vengeful God.

In my current world, I don’t think that any of the challenging things I’m facing are without God’s hand and God’s providence. I don’t always understand the whys or hows. I don’t think God struck my loved one with an incurable brain disease. As a result, I don’t need to comb my brain for the thing I did that caused God’s wrath. I don’t need to wonder what my loved one did to deserve this, as if it’s causal. While I believe God is present, I don’t think that every bad thing is attributable to God. Sometimes, in fact, s*?t happens. And God is present when it does, and as the pieces are picked up.

Yesterday, I turned in my keys at my job that was eliminated, a job I loved. I don’t blame God for that. I don’t fear God’s retribution. I may not understand the plan, but I know there is one. I just wish it wasn’t so hard to follow sometimes.