We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah is battling seemingly everyone. He prays to God that he and his troops will be victorious. The accompanying reflection focuses on petitionary prayer, which is when we ask God for something regarding ourselves. The other kind of asking prayer is intercessory prayer, which is asking on behalf of someone else.
I must admit that I’m not very good at asking God for things. This is in part because of warped sense of humility. Who am I to ask for something? Why would God pay attention to my ask? But part of this is because of the nature of the problems I have and my awareness that I might have no idea what to pray for. Take my sick loved one. On their behalf, do I pray for their miraculous healing? Similar to the idea that there are no atheists in fox holes, I suspect there are few atheists who are loved ones of people with this brain disease. And yet, there are very few documented cases of people being cured from this illness. So if I were to pray for a cure, and it doesn’t come, have I prayed in vain? At a minimum it causes a little testiness in me. Um, God. I’m praying down here, petitioning on behalf of my very sick loved one.
Prayers like this, or sillier ones like praying to win the lottery feel like prayers that are misguided. If praying for my loved one’s cure isn’t really a successful prayer, what do I pray for on their behalf? All of a sudden, I’m overthinking and negotiating with myself about what to pray for that is more in line with what’s reasonable. Pray for their peace. Pray they have some increased insight about their illness so treatment might be plausible.
Likewise for me, I overthink the prayer of petition. Pray I’m able to fully able to cope with the crappy few weeks/months/years. Pray that I find absolute peace. Pray that I never fight or am provoked by my loved one. Pray that I find a great opportunity. These petitions seem pretty self-absorbed, and nearing absurd, like me praying to win the lottery. Knowing there is a limit to what and how I should pray for myself makes me very cautious in my prayers. I don’t like failing. I don’t like overasking. I don’t like setting my prayers up for disappointment. As a result, my petitions end up negotiated requests. And like any bad negotiator, I am negotiating with myself, seeking less than I truly desire.
What if I were to ask for the moon? What if I were to ask for healing for my loved one, and peace for me? God hears the prayers, even the prayers for the closest parking space. God already knows what I need and desire. God is already working on the resolution of all of my woes and those of my loved one. My prayer isn’t the catalyst. It isn’t the prompt that reminds God that my loved one needs healing, or that I need a job. Maybe my intercessory and petition prayers are about me just being honest with myself about what I want. Once those prayers are offered up, I need to presume God already knows about all of this, with or without my prayers. That God has a plan. Maybe my job in that plan is to simply be clear and honest about what I’m seeking for myself and my loved one. Without judgment about whether it’s the right kind of prayer. I’ll give that a try, and hope to avoid the disappointment from my unanswered prayers.
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