Then I said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.” But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a boy’; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you
As we continue our continuous reading of the Bible, we now land it Jeremiah. Jeremiah was both a reluctant and unlucky prophet. He didn’t want to be sharing the hard messages God was asking him to do. When God asked him, he argued. Ah, Lord. Truly I do not know how to speak. Hmm. If God is powerful enough to speak to Jeremiah and ask him to be God’s messenger, don’t you think God would equip Jeremiah with what he needed? That’s basically God’s response. Do not be afraid, for I am with you to deliver you.
It makes so much sense that God would only ask Jeremiah to do something that then God was going to equip Jeremiah to accomplish. But how many times do I make the same argument to God? I can’t do that, I’m only one person. I can’t do that, it’s too hard. I can’t do that, I’ve never done that before. God smiles, having heard these excuses from all humanity throughout all ages.
Sometimes we walk away from the ask, even though God has tried to assure us we’re equipped, and that God will deliver us. The burden is too heavy. The risks too great. I can imagine God shaking God’s head, wondering what could have been done so that our trust was greater than our fear.
Jeremiah did not have an easy time; God never promised ease. He promised deliverance. Maybe that’s another reason we walk away from God’s call. We want it to be easy. But Jeremiah didn’t walk away. He responded to God’s request.
Right now, I have lots of things that feel like it could be God’s request of me. It could be continuing to rehab my mental health wrap-around service site for one, pursuing new ministries in my new community, supporting my loved one as they settle, finding paying work, writing. All of these things feel a little daunting, heavy, or hard. They’re a little easier with a good night’s sleep, and with supportive family and friends.
This morning, I’m thinking about what excuses I throw up to God in response to God’s requests of me. I’m also thinking about how to tip the balance towards trusting God, rather than arguing with God.
For I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind.
God is about to create new heavens and a new earth. I’ve always thought about this either as a historical thing that God relayed to God’s people thousands of years ago, or something that has to do with the end times, something that will happen in the future. This past year, that’s changed.
One year ago, my loved one was in the hospital in Portland for what would be a 6 week hospitalization. This hospitalization occurred after they threatened a police officer with a bottle, stole a hammer from the hardware store to kill their husband, and left us a murderous note. There was a lot of turmoil in their life, and as a result, in our life.
I was preparing for a diocesan convention that was going to have to be online because of the pandemic, figuring out all of the logistics of voting, registering, the head table, and the script.
I was working with the bishop who hired me during for his last convention, and his last months. I was preparing for the arrival of the new bishop, and wondering what that would mean for the diocese and my paying and non-paying ministries.
I was living in a house in Portland, that we’d purchased to accommodate our loved one, and facilitate bicycle commutes for my husband and me.
Now, everything is different. I live in Pittsburgh. I own a house that affords my loved one more privacy and independence while still allowing us to provide support as needed. I am getting to know the people and clergy of the Diocese of Pittsburgh as they prepare for their own bishop transition. I live in a predominantly African American community, which is overdue given the composition of my family. I’m no longer a paid church employee. Until the new bishop is seated, I don’t have an unpaid church ministry. I have lots of time to make multiple daily trips to the hardware store, to write, and to document this crazy new world.
The transition from the old world to the new was bumpy, and I suspect will continue to be rough. And yet. It absolutely feels like a God-created new heavens and new earth. I’m certain that has to do with God’s grace to give me the courage to pursue, and the faith to trust in God’s goodness.
God is creating new heavens and a new earth every day, all around me. If I walk through life waiting for that new earth to come some time in the future, I miss the creation that’s happening right now. This morning, I’m thinking about God’s new earth that’s unfolding every day, and how I can be aware of the new creation all around me.
