Dec 10 2020 Bless

One of the spiritual practices that the Episcopal Church has instituted during this Advent is a series of simple meditations to help become the Beloved Community. Today’s meditation focuses on the practice of Blessing. It reads, “Call or write a family member with whom you desire a closer relationship. Share with this person how they are a blessing”. I don’t have much immediate family remaining, surprisingly. They are all a blessing, for sure. My brother is definitely a blessing. He’s always had a heart of gold, and has probably always been the nicer of us two kids. I should learn more from him.

 I have in-laws, and they’re all immense blessings. I’ve learned a lot from that whole family, inherited by marriage. It’s interesting how different families of origin are. I always assumed that my upbringing and my family was the way everyone’s family was. Learning about and loving my husband’s family, it’s fascinating how very different upbringings are, even those that appear to be similar – two parents, white collar work, family meals,  

When my husband and I married, we created a new family of origin, melding his normal and my normal. Our son, born into this family, probably thinks it’s normal. It’s as if we had a cycle, like a wave length, that everyone knew and operated around. When our son was little, we fostered then adopted a girl. It was fascinating how her wave length was just a little different than ours. Her normal was very different than ours. None of these ‘normals’ is bad, it’s just interesting to me how we all think it’s what everyone does, and it really is never that universal. 

I’m thinking about families of origin because our loved one went to visit her family of origin, for what was intended to be a few months. As best I can tell, the visit was going well… until it wasn’t. Last night, there was yelling, name calling, and threats of turning our sick loved one out onto the streets. Needless to say, they’ve decided to return to our home. As I was told last night, we’re old and boring, but her family of origin is making her pretty upset. 

It will be good to see my loved one. To tell them what a blessing they are to me, even in the midst of name calling, and accusations coming from the illness. It will be good to again try to normalize the wave length of this normal. Now on to the logistics of rerouting prescriptions, a train ticket and a third party uber. All in a day’s work. And I’m blessed to do it.