Dec 13 2020 Luke 1:46-55

My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.

So opens some of my most beloved words from scripture. And there are a lot of ones I love. But this one is one of the best, as far as I’m concerned. Mary has visited her cousin Elizabeth, who recognized the Holy One in Mary. Mary’s response, known as Mary’s song or the Magnificat is Mary’s assent to God’s wacky request of her. The Angel Gabriel visited her, told her she was going to bear God’s son, and she agreed.

God is asking Mary for something big. Mary had the advantage of having an angel emissary. But the truth is that God is asking each of us for something. There are little somethings, and there are big somethings, and I think we each have both. The little somethings come in the way of how we behave, and act, and see the world. How do we love God and Love our neighbor every day? How do we show light in these dark days and dark time?

These little asks of God are hard for us because we sometimes don’t hear them. We’re too busy making our own noise. Noise that comes in over-busy monkey brain, constant talking, or even constant petitions and transmitting prayer to God. We need to stop and listen. I speak from first-hand knowledge. I definitely need to pause and listen more.

The little asks are hard because sometimes we hear them, but then are too busy to respond, or the request is inconsistent with our plans. I’m guilty here too. There have been times I know I’m supposed to stop and talk to someone on the street, or be compassionate to a frustrated co-worker, but I don’t. I’ve got places to go, things to do. But secretly, I know that nudge was God. Why, I wonder would I ever imagine my plans or intentions are better than God’s?

But however bad I am at responding to God’s small requests, there’s hope. I can pause and listen to God. I can stop and respond better to the Spirit’s calling me to love my neighbor, or love God. What is it going to cost me to do that? It might cost some time, but more challenging, it will cost me the illusion of control. At any moment, on any day, God’s will is what I should heed, not my own well-intentioned, and well-executed plans. To that, all I can do is recite the Lord’s prayer, every day, several times a day. Thy will be done.

In addition to the small, daily requests of God, God asks each of us to big and seemingly impossible things. All the time. We have the same problem of not hearing or thinking we’re too busy for these big asks. I also feel ill-equipped. I can’t possibly [fill in the blank].

But here’s the thing. We aren’t asked to do them by ourselves. God is with us. Always. And we are not asked to do more than we can do, although we are frequently asked more than we think we can do.

I’ve had this sense at least four times in my life, where I thought the task ahead was way bigger than I could do. I’d have preferred opting out of these, but that was not a real option. After my mom died, I had to move my confused dad from his home in Illinois to Washington, to take my turn being the adult child caring for the aging parents. We had to pack up everything he was going to take for his new life in a new state and new assisted living facility and get on a plane. Everything else was being left to be sold. He sort of understood what was happening. I didn’t think I could do it. And I did.

My sophomore aged son was tanking his high school year, and was going to drop out. Helping to parent the final three years of what should have been his high school years was incredibly difficult. I knew I had to. And I did.

At one point I was sensing that God was calling me in to ordained ministry. It was very complicated, as I still had small kids, whose Sunday mornings might look very different, and they didn’t ask for that. My husband doesn’t go to church, so that added another possible complication. I didn’t think I could continue or finish. But after seven years, I did.

For the past five years, we’ve been dealing with the deepening illness of our loved one, which began with another child dropping out of high school, car accidents, one of which totaled a volvo, a diagnosis significant persistent mental illness, multiple hospitalizations, and a tumultuous few years. Often, I don’t think I can do it. And I do.

I don’t say this because I’m singularly spectacular at hearing God’s big asks. Often it takes me years to understand it is God’s call, rather than just crappy luck. Often it takes counsel from friends, to remind me that this is all part of God’s ask. But looking back, these each were big asks. Each changed my life in significant ways. And I’m certain God is not done with me. Just when I figure out my current new normal, I’m learning to expect a new big ask.

By way of a quick update, our loved one returned from a trip to visit their family of origin. They’ve been back for a few days, and we’re all having a lovely time. There’s gratitude, laughing, shopping trips. They even made us dinner last night. While things are good, we’ll try to take some steps towards further community engagement, getting them out for more scheduled events, and normalize things like medicine management and exercise. Given the nature of the illness, this is not a permanent improvement, or indicative of things to come. It is a moment of grace and respite that will allow all of us to deal with the next episode.

This morning, I’m thinking about the Song of Mary, and God’s big asks of each of us. What is it that God’s calling you to do? Maybe you don’t know because you need more stillness. Or silence. Or a freer calendar. Maybe you do know and don’t think you can. Who’s God put in your world to help? Mary had Gabriel, Elizabeth and Joseph. Who’s your Elizabeth? In response to God’s request of you, what’s your song?