Apr 29 2022 Day 333 1 Thessalonians 1:1–3:13

We also constantly give thanks to God for this, that when you received the word of God that you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word but as what it really is, God’s word


Paul is writing to the community at Thessaloniki. He has been persecuted, as has the people he’s writing. But in the midst of that persecution, he’s able to encourage and find joy, and shares it with the community.

One of places he finds encouragement is that the community accepted the words he shared not as human words, but as God’s word. This makes me think about all of the communities now that are professing God’s word. Do we hear the words as God’s, or as the person who’s speaking them? What about when we don’t like the way someone speaks, or their accent, or their gender or their (fill in the blank)? Are we mistaking the person speaking for the words they speak? I’ll admit that there have been some whose personal quirks made me want to go somewhere else to hear God’s word. But if they were truly God’s word being spoken, should I care?

This is part of the thinking behind the community of Taizé, with their contemplative and sometimes haunting tunes. They’re sung in many languages, because God’s word transcends human words. I can absolutely hear God speaking through music in other languages, because it’s clear that it’s God’s word, not the word of mortals.

But one place where this troubles me is thinking about people or communities that take God’s word and preach it in ways that promote hate, or exclusion or division. In those instances, I think that it is the word of humans, not God’s word. But who am I to decide between truly God’s word and human’s? Is it still God’s word when it’s used to justify hate? Where does God’s word end, and human spin begin? And doesn’t that same transformation happen with everyone who speaks about God? At some point, speculation or even musings stop being God’s word and clearly are the word of mere mortals.

This would even be true with the authors of Scripture, right? What about Paul? Is every word out of his mouth the word of God or does he add his spin to it? How do we tall when it’s truly God’s word, rather than the uninformed but perhaps well-intentioned opinion of the author? What an unpleasant rabbit hole this is.

Perhaps it’s as simple as going back to Jesus’ simple commandments. Love God. Love your neighbor. That is clearly, uncompromisingly and simply the word of God. That needs to be my measuring stick against which I will determine if something is of God, or of humans. Love. That’s all. Anything else is suspect.

Apr 28 2022 Day 332 Colossians 3:1–4:18

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.



Paul talks about slaves listening to their masters, and wives to their husbands. This is hard reading for us enlightened 21st century postmodern Christians. We know slavery is wrong and in marriage, a couple is equally yoked to each other. But after reading through Colossians, I’m gaining a slightly more nuanced perspective of Paul’s words. I’m not certain it’s what he originally meant, but I believe it’s consistent with Jesus’ teaching.

Paul says that whatever we do, in word or deed, should be done in the name of the Lord. We should give up all of the bad human traits – evil words, gluttony, anger, malice, wrath, and instead take up kindness, compassion, humility, meekness and patience. I know that this notion can be taken to extreme, and has been, that we should be meek now and that our reward will come in heaven. That the oppressed should be kind, and not speak evil – even against their oppressors. I am not suggesting that anyone should be oppressive, or evil, or unkind. But I do believe we are to tolerate where we are, and whatever we do, we should do it in the name of the Lord.

When I was in an unpleasant work situation in a government job, I must admit that I did speak ill. I wasn’t always able to do my work ‘giving thanks to the Lord’. And I haven’t necessarily learned how to do that. But I do think it’s the smarter way to exist and thrive. I’m sure I added to the toxicity of that workplace, although I didn’t intend to. And I’m sure my barbs and snarls contributed to my own unhappiness. How much better it would have been to instead take an outlook of kindness, compassion, and patience.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that the oppressed should simply meekly thank their oppressors. But in any overturning of the tables, there can be anger or there can be a sense of right-ness. Fix the wrongs, but check your anger at the door. Work for justice and peace, but don’t resort to speaking evil, or wrath.

It is extremely difficult for us to untangle the two – working against tyrannical powers, and maligning and hating those tyrannical powers. This morning, I’m thinking about how we can build a culture where we work for justice and peace, without contributing to the toxicity of the situation.

Apr 26 2022 Day 331 Colossians 1:1–2:23

[Jesus] is the image of the invisible God



I love this. I love this because I sometimes struggle with the immensity of God. Just when I think I understand something of God, I’m blown away because I definitely don’t. I can’t imagine the unimaginable.

But Jesus was a human. A human who put his pants on one leg at a time, presuming he ever wore pants. He was fully human, and I can imagine what it’s like to be fully human.

I don’t understand the notion of three persons in one, and like all heretics, when I try to explain it, I’m wrong. But I do understand humanity, at least a little bit. And as a result, the person of God the Son is something I can begin to imagine.

There are some who think of the resurrected Jesus as a friend, or someone who carries them in the sand. This may help them in their understanding of God. It does not help me, as I can’t really fathom a fully human mortal, raised from the dead. That’s not to say I don’t believe it; I do. But it’s a belief rooted in holy mystery. I believe it happened, I believe God made it happen, and I believe God can do it again. I get glimpses of worshipping the resurrected Jesus occasionally, although not so frequently. I feel connoted to the resurrected Jesus occasionally, although not so frequently. Perhaps this is heresy too, but it’s honest.

For me, Paul’s summary is where I find the most connection with Jesus. Jesus is the image of an invisible God. Yes! All the things I don’t ‘get’ about God, can’t fathom about God, all of these things I can more readily see and understand in Jesus. I can see what God is Love looks like, because I can see Jesus love the Samaritan and Judas, and everyone else. I can see what God’s mercy is because of the mercy Jesus showed those around him. I can imagine God’s power, because I can see it in Jesus. After reading my way through the Bible this far, I can say that I understand much of the Hebrew Scriptures because Jesus translates what God says, does and commands, into something I can more easily absorb. And where there are inconsistencies between what I read about God and what I read about Jesus, I will side with Jesus; his commands are clear. Love God. Love your neighbor. I am grateful that Paul named this one aspect of Jesus, as it helps me understand me.

Apr 25 2022 Day 330 Philippians 3:1–4:23

[F]orgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.



I’ve heard this passage before, as many have. I have always focused on the bit about ‘straining forward to what lies ahead’. And it’s true; we should always keep our eyes forward towards God’s vision. And this morning, two other thoughts occurred to me.

First, the heavenly prize isn’t entirely something in the distant future. It could be tomorrow, here on earth. We need to always strive and strain towards God’s kingdom come on earth. We do not need to put off until we die the desire and reality of seeing Jesus; we can see Jesus is in every person we meet. We can see God’s kingdom in every good deed we do, or we see others do. We need remember that straining to what lies ahead could be talking about this afternoon. Act now like you’re part of God’s kingdom on earth. This is the one instance where whether you believe it or not, acting in such a way absolutely makes it true. Be a part of bringing God’s kingdom here, and voila, you’ve done it.

The other thing I’m struck by this morning is the first part of this charge. Forget what lies behind. How often do we forget this part?! We behave towards others based on past hurts. We withhold love because of perceived slights. We judge because of cultural norms we’ve learned. We are called to forget all that lies behind.

Every person, every interaction, every intention can be holding us back if it’s rooted in the past. Or every person, every interaction, every intention can help us realize God’s dream for us, if we’re brave enough and trusting enough to let past hurts be in the past. Rather, treat every thing as if it is a brand new opportunity to love, because it is a brand new opportunity.

This morning, I’m thinking about the past and present, as I strain towards what lies ahead. If I don’t, I’m destined to stumble.

Apr 23 2022 Day 329 Philippians 1:1–2:30

Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.



Paul’s letter to the people of Philippi talks a great deal about joy, how to find it, how to keep it, how to share it. He says we should be like Christ, who humbled himself, even to the point of dying on the cross, for our sake. It is the self-sacrifice that he points to, rather than the crucifixion itself. It’s not the gory reality of the cross that we should contemplate, but rather the fact that Christ was willing to literally give his life for others.

The accompanying reflection for this section of Philippians is from Robert Foster, He writes, “This principle of giving way for the good of others is at the heart of Paul’s ethical teaching.” Not only Paul, but I certainly Jesus supports this notion too. There is something satisfying about giving to others. We feel good when we help.

But even more than that, we feel deeply right about giving when it’s a sacrifice; when we have to suffer in order for the good of someone else, we know it’s right. I’m not talking about becoming a martyr so everyone knows you’re a martyr. I’m not talking about that false humility we see when some people over-extend themselves, and then want credit for doing so. I’m talking about those quiet, unacknowledged sacrifices we all make that result in someone else’s world a little better.  That feels right, viscerally and inherently right. Even if no one else knows or sees, God knows and we know. That’s all that really matters.

This morning, I’m thinking about those opportunities to be self-sacrificing for others in a Christ-like, humble way. God will always see that, and that’s all that should matter.

Day 328 Ephesians 5:1–6:24

[A]nd having done everything, stand firm.



Life throws us all sorts of curve balls. In the past 6 years, I’ve contended with a stalker, loss of job and ministry, moving across country, and my child being diagnosed with an insidious brain disorder. When the stalker was circling, connecting with friends of mine and slandering me and my friends, I called a colleague and dear friend for some support and words of wisdom.

At first, she said that I should make sure I had checked all my online security – what was visible to anyone, what personal information I’d shared. I assured my friend that I’d done that already, and that I am really good at the logistics and operational stuff. What other advice did she have? Well, she assured me that I would be ok, and that things would turn out fine. I reminded her my stalker was mentally ill and unstable, so no, we could not assume I’d be ok. We can hope, but certainly not know. What other advice did she have? She asked for time to think and return.

A few hours later, she returned with this snippet that precedes the “Armor of God” that is Paul’s closing in Ephesians. Paraphrased, she said, “Having done all, just stand.” That’s it! That’s what I needed to hear.

Frequently, we’re stuck doing a lot of preparing or worrying, or caring, or organizing. And at some point, all of our mortal efforts should be counted as complete; we’ve done our all. At that point, we are asked to just stand firm.

Make no mistake, this is not a passive or defeatist position. There is strength in standing. It’s also hard to just stand. Think of standing in a river, as the current rushes past. There’s nothing passive in standing still with those torrents pass. Likewise, there is nothing passive in standing still when life’s torrents rush past.

I’ve returned to that phrase repeatedly during these past years. There comes a point when I can do no more, plan no more, control no more. At that point, having done all, stand firm. For many years, it was even written on the inside cover of my work planner. Just Stand.

This morning, I’m thinking about the incredible strength it takes to stop running upstream and instead stand firm. I’m grateful that I’m never standing alone.

Apr 21 2022 Day 327 Ephesians 3:1–4:32

I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.



In my current world of rehabbing a 100+ year old house, I’ve been measuring things, a lot. Quarter round, shelving, doors, floorboards, plywood. In my current world, things have three dimensions. I think it’s not coincidental, that Paul uses four dimensions to describe God’s love. That covers everything we know, plus some. I’m not sure which of Paul’s measurements becomes the magical fourth dimension. But from a quick internet search, the fourth dimension is something in the space-time continuum. It’s safe to say it’s something I don’t understand. But God loves me even there.

It’s certainly coincidental that the accompanying reflection for this section of the sequential reading of the Bible is from Madeline L’Engle. In addition to being a worthy theologian, she wrote the novel, “A Wrinkle in Time”, which has something to do with the fourth dimension. Note to self: reread A Wrinkle in Time.

In the reflection, L’Engle writes about her son and his to-be-expected tantrums as a toddler. He’d misbehave, and then run over to his mother. It was as if he was being horrible, knew it, and also knew he needed his mother’s love precisely when he was least lovable. She’d hug him and hold him until the angry beast left and her son was there, reaffirmed of his parent’s love, precisely when he needed it.

She writes that it is the same for her and God, “When I am at my most monstrous, I am most in need of love”. She continues, “I am not lovable when I am enraged, although it is when I most need love”. It’s when she lashes out, shakes her fist, and strikes out in anger and fear that God holds her tight. God loves us even then, even when our monstrous behavior means we are very hard to love.

I am very grateful for her analogy, both because of what it says about God’s love, and about a child’s lashing out. My adult child with the significant brain disorder of schizophrenia frequently lashes out, and is frequently unlovable. At those moments more than any other, we need to hold them, to make sure that they know they’re loved even at their worst. Certainly we fail sometimes as parents to do that, to hug and hold and show love, because we are not the ones with unconditional, irrational love.

But when we cannot show that love, because their behavior is so bad, or we cannot get close enough to the cornered beast they’ve become, I need to do whatever I can to make sure they know that even then, God loves them. God is the one with irrational, unconditional, unwarranted love, both for my loved one and me.

Day 326 Ephesians 1:1–2:22

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God



Another blinding flash of the obvious. The whole notion of being saved through faith, I found confusing. It seemed like the “build it and they will come” concept from Field of Dreams. I am saved because I have faith? But to read Paul’s concept, by grace we are saved through faith, this resonates.

To think that it’s up to me to have faith is the part that’s hard to wrap my head around. I start so many things that I never finish, ‘enthusiasms’ a mentor once called them. I want to do art through Lent so I purchase the supplies. I do some art during some of Lent, and the supplies are still in my desk drawer. This is only one example of the many things I start with great intentions and fall away. If my saving is dependent on my consistent faith, I’m in trouble. Perfect consistency is not something I have. Few of us do, I suspect.

By grace, I have faith. Aaah! Now I understand. It’s God’s grace that gives me faith, not my persistence, or adherence to a schedule, or ordination or anything. It’s God’s grace alone. What a mystery that is!

So my whole salvation or saving is dependent on a gift from God that I cannot earn or guarantee. It’s God’s grace that gives me faith, and sustains that faith when common sense would have me running the other way.

I am entirely dependent on an invisible, illogical, indefinable gift from God. That is quite humbling, and puts me in my place – a place of utter humility before God. This morning, I’m thinking about that gift of grace, which sustains my faith. I’m grateful it exists and entirely perplexed about how it all works.

Apr 19 2022 Day 325 Galatians 5:1–6:18

Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.


Easy to understand, hard to do. When the world is full of trials and evil and pain, how do we forgive those who we believe are causing the trouble?

In my way of thinking, the first thing to do is to realize that nothing is as easy or simple as it seems. Take the war in Ukraine. While it may be easy to demonize Putin and the Russians, there is plenty of times we, the US have behaved similarly. We have fought over land that we believed was ours. Whether it’s the doctrine of discovery and the Native Americans, the land now in our Southwest, or even the Revolutionary War. I’m not trying to suggest that the action is justified, but rather there’s always a story behind the easy demonization of one party.

The second thing I think we can do is realize that every human, or at least every human who isn’t a sociopath, desires the same things. We want what’s in Maslow’s hierarchy – food, water, shelter, security, love, belonging, feeling of accomplishment, becoming who we’re supposed to be, in roughly that order. The folks we demonize want that too. Their concept of how to do it is different than ours, but their motivation is the same.

I believe that when we find an easy target for our animosity, we find an easy way to channel our hurt and anger, but that’s not necessarily right. Take the argument about black lives matter. Whether you support that rally cry or not, it’s easy to pick a side and demonize the other. The truth, however is that battle cry started because there are some very real systemic problems in this country tracing back hundreds of years. To demonize one side lets us abdicate in trying to resolve the bigger issues. We can blame the one bad guy, and move on to the rest of our day.

For me, the hardest part about taking on the burdens of another is for me to get over the notion that they don’t deserve it; that they made their bed, or caused their trouble, or caused my trouble. But if I remember that they are motivated by the same root needs that I have, that the problems are so much bigger than they are, and that there’s likely a whole system that resulted in their action, it’s harder to demonize them. It’s harder to make them the other. Once I remember we’re all in the same human race, it’s easier to share their burden. 

I will never look into the eyes of anyone who God does not love. 

This makes the burden-sharing a little easier. Even. If it’s a kind smile or prayer, we should all strive to take on the burdens of others, especially those we try to demonize.

Apr 14 2022 Day 324 Galatians 3:1–4:31 - Maundy Thursday

There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.



Paul is still trying to convince the Galatians that they do not need to follow the letter of the old covenant; that would again enslave them. Rather, they are freed in the new covenant of Jesus Christ. The old covenant creates a way to separate – circumcised vs. uncircumcised, Jew or gentile. Christ creates a way to unite. Those previous distinctions, perpetuated by adherence to the law, disappear in Christ. Yes!

Today is referred to as Maundy Thursday in my faith tradition. The Thursday before Easter we commemorate the creation of the Eucharist, with Jesus’ last meal with his disciples. This is my body. Whenever you eat this, do this in remembrance of me.

The liturgy is another of my favorites, frequently beginning with a communal meal for the gathered people. There is a normal communion service, and then the altar area is stripped of all adornment, and the altar is washed. The clergy leave in silence, in the stark empty space. The service doesn’t actually end in a normal way; it is part of a three-day commemoration ending with a joyous celebration on Easter eve.

The service also includes a foot washing, based on Jesus’ act of washing his disciples’ feet. He said, ‘because I have washed your feet, so you should wash others’. ‘ This is perhaps my favorite act of the church year, not so much for the sterilized symbolic foot washing that occurs during the service, but because of what it represents. It is an icon for me of the very sentiment Paul expresses: there is no longer slave or free, for you are all one in Christ.

I had the great honor of coordinating a foot washing for some of Seattle’s homeless as part of a one-day service event. There were unbelievable connections made between strangers, as we washed the feet of the homeless, the addicts, the gang-bangers. Even though it was a secular event, we absolutely were one in Christ, and some of the folks whose feet were washed pointed out to us, “hey, didn’t Jesus do this?” Others asked if they could wash our feet. There were several times I held back tears.

It was a deeply moving day, repeated annually for several years and eventually passed off to a colleague who continues. To honor the service and sentiment, I have a tattoo on my foot that reads, “John 13:14”. This morning, I’m thinking about Jesus’ modeling such intimate and silo-smashing actions that I might follow, every day.

Apr 13 2022 Day 323 Galatians 1:1–2:21

[W]e know that a person is justified not by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ.



I am a do-er, more than a be-er. Or at least that’s how I’ve identified myself. I’ve been more Martha, than Mary. So this important concept of Paul’s has always rubbed me the wrong way.

What do you mean, we are justified by faith and not by works? If we all just sat around and had faith, the poor would go hungry, and the prisoner captive. But reading this admonition from Paul to the people of Galatia I’m possibly gaining another perspective.

The Galatians were Christians, but they’d gotten swept up in the notion that they had to abide by the Hebrew Laws, including the rule of circumcision. There’s even a part where Cephas separates himself from others, for ‘fear of circumcision faction’. Um, yes.

I think Paul is saying that the people are freed from the legalistic rules of old, that faith in Christ has preempted all of that.

But here’s the place where I think that’s a little coy on Paul’s part. To have faith in Christ, to believe and do what he said is anything but easy. It sounds easy, but it isn’t just sitting around believing in something. We are called to Love God. And Love our Neighbor. And Love is not a sentiment. It’s an active verb. To Love God requires worshipping, thanking, contemplating, praying. To Love our Neighbor requires feeding, caring, clothing, empathizing. The list could go on.

To be justified by faith in Christ means we are choosing Jesus’ prerequisites to govern our lives. To be justified by faith means we are called to Love God and Love our neighbor. To be justified by faith means we are called to do Love’s bidding. To worship, thank, pray, feed, empathize, care, clothe. To be justified by faith rather than works doesn’t absolve us from action. It clarifies what and for whom those actions are.

This morning, I’m thinking about how many works I’m committed to do, as a person who’s justified by faith.

Apr 12 2022 Day 322 2 Corinthians 11:1–13:13

I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.



Paul concludes his second letter to the Corinthians with much talk about fools. And suffering. My college had an organization of “Holy Fools”, faithful students who dressed up as clowns to spread God’s good news. I wasn’t part of that, and honestly, I found it silly. That says a lot more about me any my immature faith, than it does about their faith-filled actions. I attended church, occasionally, but still considered myself religious. And I was in that period of life where I was sorting out what faith meant to me, what it looked like. At that time, I wasn’t feeling cloaked and protected enough in Christ to assume the foolish mantle of a clown. I feel that has changed.

While I still would not likely dress up as a clown, there are plenty of other foolish things I have done and would do still because I feel more protected. I’ve dressed up in long black robes in the rain, and tried to impose ashes on people’s foreheads at a run-down bus station. I’ve taken jobs for much less money and stature. I’ve purchased incredibly rundown homes in rundown neighborhoods to resurrect the homes and provide housing for others.

I feel like because of Christ, I don’t think twice about things that might seem foolish to others. For this maturity of faith, I am extremely grateful.

Paul also talks a lot about suffering. That because he is weak, Christ can be strong. It was through the accompanying meditation of Pope John Paul II that I have a better understanding of this. John Paul writes, “[T]o suffer means to become particularly susceptible, particularly open to the working of the salvific powers of God, offered to humanity in Christ.” While salvific is not a word I use frequently, or ever, it is pretty powerful. To bring about our salvation or redemption through God. Basically, the notion is that when we are suffering, when we are empty, we have space for God’s power in us. Blinding flash of the obvious for me.

It's not that God makes us suffer so God can show how powerful and redemptive God is. Rather, suffering is part of our humanity, much of it we bring on ourselves through worry about the future and regret about the past. But it’s when we suffer that we actually turn to God for help.

This morning, I woke up and was in a singularly spectacular mood. The early spring robins were sounding their wake up call, my coffee was perfect, and my candle lit the first time. I didn’t once think that I needed God during that revelry. Yes, I was grateful. But not dependent or needy.

This morning, I want to remember that suffering provides space for God to act and that when I’m super-happy, I need to remember I still need to provde space for God to act.

Apr 9 2022 Day 321 2 Corinthians 8:1–10:18

I do not mean that there should be relief for others and pressure on you, but it is a question of a fair balance between your present abundance and their need, so that their abundance may be for your need, in order that there may be a fair balance.


If any political leader or even church leader were to suggest that there should be a fair balance between those with abundance and those with need, they’d be branded as a socialist or communist. And yet, it’s clearly there in Scripture. Share your abundance willingly with those in need. At some point, their abundance will be used for your need. There should be a fair balance. Yes!

I look around my new community, and there is no fair balance. Houses sell for $49,000 in the same block as houses for $250,000. Add to that disparity the truth that the skin color of the sellers and buyers is unfortunately predictable.

Where I am now, clearly I have abundance. Most of us who have the luxury of checking Facebook on a weekend morning have abundance. We’re on the abundant side of the digital divide, we have jobs that make a weekend valued, and we have jobs that mean we aren’t working shift work.

I’ve heard some suggest that Jesus’ notion of a socialist society was a pipe dream, that didn’t work back then, and doesn’t work now. But couldn’t we all be working to equal out the disparities a little bit more? This isn’t about helping the disadvantaged from a place of superiority. Rather, it’s about inviting others into our abundance. Partnering with people who have less. Helping them do more and have more, from a place of companionship. And companionship as a word has its roots in sharing bread – com (with) – pan (bread).

This morning, I’m thinking about how I might share my abundance, not because I want to be a socialist, but because it’s only by God’s graces that I have any abundance anyway.

Lent 2022-The Woman and the Cave - Meditative Writing

This week, we were invited to think about meditative writing. I previously wrote about my discomfort with passive meditation. Like many, I find it too 'hard'. Doing something, anything, while trying to mediate helps me out, whether it's walking, singing, drawing or writing.  

Have you ever tried to breathe deeply for any length of time? It's frequently used to ease into prayer or meditation. And the part that makes me chortle is when the instruction adds that it is to be natural. Hmm? As soon as I try to breathe in a particular way, it stops being involuntary. I can't not think about it.  

Something similar happens when I think about meditative writing. When I think about, about writing meditatively, it stops being meditative. It becomes far more laborious. 

Having said that, I can meditatively write. I just don't think about it or name it. Rather, I set the stage and write. Most mornings, my musings are definitely meditative. I read, I pray, I write. I'm in the zone. I suspect that some days they make less sense than others, and some days there are more typos and missing words than others. That's all because I'm just writing. 

When I think about it, or edit it, or try to force it, I'm definitely not in the zone. It's more forced and hard. 

I have the opportunity to preach this Sunday, Palm Sunday. I realized that my struggling to write a sermon could and should be erased if I approached it as meditative writing. Read, pray, write. Don't think, don't edit, don't check the word count. Then, once something is down on paper, however jumbled, let it rest. Return and edit. 

This is not an untested theory; previous sermons that have been full of ease and grace followed this pattern in their creation. The sermons I struggle with are those that I allow my head to wrestle with before my soul has had her say. 

This week's invitation into meditative writing has given me a name for my better sermon-writing experiences. Yesterday, I set the stage and lit the candle. I read the passages, prayed, and wrote. Today, I'll edit and fill in all the missing words.

 

Apr 7 2022 Day 320 2 Corinthians 4:1–7:16

Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.



Oh, how true I’m finding this. I wake up with more creaking and go to bed with more grunting. I do not feel old, but I guess I’m feeling older. New doctors, athletes and actors who all were older than me, surprisingly are now younger than me. I do not feel old, but I guess I’m feeling older. And older eventually means wasting away.

It's probably been within the past five years that I’ve been feeling older. And it’s only that sense of the slow march of time that would allow me to read this sentence from Paul and pause. When I was young, it seemed like young was a perpetual state; I could not imagine anything about me wasting away. Now, I get a glimpse.

I have a friend who’d said that if you assume that 80 is about the end of many lives, or at least productive lives, you can divide your life into quarters. Birth to 20, 20-40, 40-60, and finally 60-80. She was struck when she hit 60 to think that she was in the final quarter. Yes, people live beyond 80, but the concept still holds. I’m heading into the final quarter. The outside is wasting away indeed.

But I can also attest that the second part of Paul’s comment is increasingly true for me too. Our inner nature is being renewed day by day. I am hearing or reading parts of Scripture for the 100th time, and it sounds brand new. I have new understanding and appreciation for Jesus, and what he means to me. I have an increasingly committed sense of my calling on this earth and to God’s children.

It's too bad we can’t have some of the inner renewal and understanding when our outward bodies don’t creak and groan. But maybe we wouldn’t sit still long enough to hear, or be focused enough to understand. For now, I’m grateful for the time I’ve spent in this game, regardless of the quarter I’m in, and actually grateful for some time sitting on the bench, watching, thinking and being renewed.

Apr 6 2022 Day 319 2 Corinthians 1:1–3:18

Was I vacillating when I wanted to do this?



Paul is explaining to the people of Corinth that he does what God wills. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn’t have second thoughts, and say yes then no. He listens to God, and does God’s will. Ah, if it were that easy.

There have been a few instances where I felt that I was acting absolutely driven by God’s will. The rest of the time, I hope. I hope I’ve listened. I hope my will isn’t more important in my thoughts than God’s will.

The accompanying reflection is from Teresa of Avila, a 16th century Spanish nun. She writes that that the human soul is something like sealing wax. The wax doesn’t imprint itself. It can’t soften itself. All the wax does is receive the imprint.

She prays that her soul be like soft sealing wax, ready for God’s imprint. I like this analogy, as it makes concrete something that’s not. Our soul, our very being cannot imprint itself. We cannot will ourselves to be formed and sealed by God. All we can do is ready ourselves, and be willing to receive God’s mark.

I’m not sure how to do this, other than to just be willing to acknowledge that God is the actor in this story, not me.

I’m reminded of another story, I believe by Henri Nouwen. He wrote that he had a great lesson in trusting in God from a trapeze artist he met on a park bench. The artist was the ‘flyer’, the one who flew through the air. He said that his job was simply to fly and put is hands in the ready position, so the catcher could catch. The flyer could do nothing to help, and was frequently backwards at the time. If he tried to ‘help’, by reaching or changing the position of his hands, he could easily break his own wrists or those of the ‘catcher’. He had to just put his hands out and wait to be caught. 

I guess that’s what God’s imprint feels like to me, more like flying through the air with my hands held out waiting for the catch. Waiting, but entirely unable to affect its success. This story has a lot of value when thinking about faith, so I don’t mean to dismiss it. But my affinity to the story about the flyer maybe says more about my desire to ‘help’ God out. This morning, I’m thinking about how to be more like wax than a flyer.

Apr 5 2022 Day 318 1 Corinthians 13:1–16:24

[I]t was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.



Paul is explaining that he was a greater sinner than most, but that he’s worked harder and travelled further precisely because of his greater sin. But he continues that it wasn’t due to his own actions, but rather the grace of God that he was able to accomplish these things.

The accompanying reflection is from NT Wright and he writes that this awareness of the role of the Spirit is one of the greatest gifts or shifts in thinking about virtue to come from Paul’s writings. Wright suggests that Aristotle wrote that the virtuous man was encouraged to be proud of his virtuousness. But Paul writes that it’s not man’s self-sufficiency or determinedness that is at the root of virtue; it is God the Spirit, that indwells in each of us.

I remember a moment when I was probably in high school when I was a little testy about the notion that God was to get the credit for something I’d done. I don’t know what it was but I remember thinking that I was the one who worked so hard. I was the one who studied or practiced or earned something. I don’t ever recall resolving that disagreement with God. But somewhere along the way I grew to understand and accept this truth.

Like all of us, my faith has been tested. Whether it’s an ungracious exit from a job and ministry, or a chronically very ill loved one, I have shaken my fist at God. And I have remained in relationship, and have remained faithful during all of that. When a spiritual director once asked why, I explained that I had no idea. She suggested it was a gift from God. Oh, yeah. Right. This is not to say that I am bestowed with a multitude of gifts from God. But I have grown to understand that my faith is one gift. Unearned and unexpected.

We all have some trait or knowledge or skill that is inexplainable. Some instance where other people in the same situation would behave badly. Or some way of interacting with others that seems counter-intuitive, whether it’s a deep sense of love, forgiveness, or service. That is a gift of God the Spirit. This morning, I’m thinking about all the instances where I ought to be giving thanks for God the Spirit’s gifts to me, gifts that allow me to do the right and loving thing.

Lent 2022 - The Woman and the Cave - Meditative Writing

 

Meditative Writing. What is it? And why do it?

I've tried the traditional kind of meditation - sitting still, repeating a sacred word, or trying to find the space between thoughts. All of these are successful strategies, and few people come to them easily. Meditation, like any new skill, takes practice. We need to exercise our meditation muscles. It's like Jon Kabat-Zinn said, "Don't just do something, sit there".  

Perhaps I could get better at it, but none of these methods seem to be something I can practice with any constancy. I need something to 'do', something to keep my active side busy enough, so my contemplative side can contemplate.  I'm much better when I meditate while doing something. I can walk and meditate, knit and meditate, and as it turns out, write and meditate. That's the focus of this week's exercise from The Woman and the Cave, written by Kristen Wheeler. 

Meditative writing is just what it sounds like - writing while meditating, or meditating while writing. To meditate, get comfortable, stay present, acknowledge wandering or intrusive thoughts then let them go. 

For me, writing keeps me focused on the present. I light a candle, and write. My prompts are normally scripture I've read, although when life gets harder, sometimes I write about more personal matters, like my sick loved one. 

So this week, you are invited to find 5-20 minutes, make yourself comfortable, breath deeply, find a prompt, and write. Your prompt could be scripture, nature, an icon, Lent, something happening in your life. Give it a try. It could be by hand, or on a computer. But just write. 

We'll check in on Friday, and see how it went.  

Apr 3 2022 Day 317 1 Corinthians 10:1–12:31

If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.



This follows Paul’s comparison of the human body with the body of Christ. The eye is no more important than the big toe. Following this analogy, if one part of the body suffers, all suffers. Ever had a tooth ache? Although the pain is in the tooth, it feels like it’s throughout the body.

This is true also with God’s people, although we don’t act like it. If one person suffers, we all suffer. I do feel the suffering of others, although to make it through my day, I frequently close my eyes to the suffering; I haven’t watched the news for months as there’s too much suffering. We all need to feel the suffering of each other, and do what we can, in our little ways. If we all felt that suffering, and tried to alleviate it, that would be a lot of suffering removed.

While I’m all about God’s children, this section of Corinthians is also about the institution of God’s church, or the gathered people of faith. Not all faith communities look or act or function the same, and none are less important.

This morning, I’m thinking about the suffering of various church institutions, and how we all suffer when that happens. Whether it’s the ongoing struggle of the Roman Catholic Church and abuse, or the implosion of Mars Hill or Hillsong, when these people – these churches – suffer, we all suffer. Think about the faithful worshippers whose worlds are shattered. Think about the faith leaders who have given their lives to the institution. Think about the faith leaders who fall. There by the Grace of God go I. No part of the body is better than any other part. All are worthy, and all have a part to play. All churches are comprised of faithful, fallible mortals. 

Today, I pray for the suffering of the faithful whose institutions and leaders have let them down. And I pray for the leaders who are suffering.

Lent 2022 - The Woman and the Cave - Icons

Icons. 

While I don't use Pinterest a lot, I admit that I have an "Icons and Inspiration" board. I have been adding things to it since I started preaching, about 10 years ago. 

I am not normally a mystic. I don't normally sit still. I don't normally sit and contemplate things. But icons help me with all of these. Icons help me settle down and settle in for some time of prayerful thinking, possibly even prayer itself.

Similar to seeing a moving made about a book, the movie images forever paint a picture in your mind about the characters in the book. Who can think about Harry Potter without thinking of Daniel Radcliffe? But Radcliffe is just one image for the character. 

Before seeing the movies, I'm not sure what my image was, but it wasn't the same as the movie characters. The same thing happens with icons. There are some beautiful historic icons that were written either with a historic style, like the traditional Greek and Russian icons. These icons are written from the perspective of the writer, similar to the casting of a movie. 

But that's just one person's image, and sometimes those images don't work for me. Or at least they constrain my imaginings about the person, or the story. That's why I have this icon board.

(I apologize for the wonky placement of the pictures and words in this post. I haven't mastered the code to make them behave as I'd like, so they just appear in random places..)

These first three icons are images of Mary Magdalene. We don't know much about her but what we do know is largely framed by the producers of a male-dominated narrative. I don't know much about these three icons, but they're rich with imagery that would be interesting to learn about.  

More interesting to me are the faces of Mary. She was a woman with an amazing back story, and fascinating access to Jesus. The stories I conjure in my mind about Mary are as varied as the images I see in these icons. Time contemplating will give me a richer understanding of Mary. 

These other icons are of Mary, mother of Jesus, and I value them because they remind me that my Euro-centric image of Scripture is only one perspective, and given the ethnicity of people in the Middle East, it's likely grossly inaccurate.  

Icons let me go beyond my rather myopic view of things, and then let me rest and pray, while looking at something tangible. The tangible pictures help ground my concrete way of thinking. 

I grabbed all of these photos from Pinterest, and apologize for no attributions.