[I]t was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.
Paul is explaining that he was a greater sinner than most, but that he’s worked harder and travelled further precisely because of his greater sin. But he continues that it wasn’t due to his own actions, but rather the grace of God that he was able to accomplish these things.
The accompanying reflection is from NT Wright and he writes that this awareness of the role of the Spirit is one of the greatest gifts or shifts in thinking about virtue to come from Paul’s writings. Wright suggests that Aristotle wrote that the virtuous man was encouraged to be proud of his virtuousness. But Paul writes that it’s not man’s self-sufficiency or determinedness that is at the root of virtue; it is God the Spirit, that indwells in each of us.
I remember a moment when I was probably in high school when I was a little testy about the notion that God was to get the credit for something I’d done. I don’t know what it was but I remember thinking that I was the one who worked so hard. I was the one who studied or practiced or earned something. I don’t ever recall resolving that disagreement with God. But somewhere along the way I grew to understand and accept this truth.
Like all of us, my faith has been tested. Whether it’s an ungracious exit from a job and ministry, or a chronically very ill loved one, I have shaken my fist at God. And I have remained in relationship, and have remained faithful during all of that. When a spiritual director once asked why, I explained that I had no idea. She suggested it was a gift from God. Oh, yeah. Right. This is not to say that I am bestowed with a multitude of gifts from God. But I have grown to understand that my faith is one gift. Unearned and unexpected.
We all have some trait or knowledge or skill that is inexplainable. Some instance where other people in the same situation would behave badly. Or some way of interacting with others that seems counter-intuitive, whether it’s a deep sense of love, forgiveness, or service. That is a gift of God the Spirit. This morning, I’m thinking about all the instances where I ought to be giving thanks for God the Spirit’s gifts to me, gifts that allow me to do the right and loving thing.
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