Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Feb 25 2020 Personal reflection

Tomorrow, in my faith tradition is Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday falls roughly 40 days before Easter, and like Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness, is a time of prayer and reflection. We call that time Lent. Ash Wednesday is a solemn service that includes putting ashes in the sign of the cross, as the words “you are dust, and to dust you shall return” are spoken. At the time of baptism, the sign of the cross is made on the forehead with blessed oil, while the words, “You are sealed by the Holy Spirit and marked as Christ’s own forever”. As that cross from baptism, or new life, is traced on the forehead, we are reminded that we are sealed by the Holy Spirit, and marked as Christ’s own forever, even in death.

There have been years where Lent has been a meaningful time for me; I’ve prayed more, reflected more, ate less, worshipped more. The purpose of giving something up isn’t to look pious, but to use that discipline as reminder throughout the day that we are, in fact sealed as God’s forever. Every time my stomach growled, or the bed beckoned and instead I skipped a meal or got up pray, I’d remember why. Human cues for Godly purpose.

There’ve also been years where I didn’t have a Lenten practice, or I had one that was just for show. In both cases, when Easter came, I wasn’t as grateful, or swept up in the awesomeness of God’s love for us, illustrated by Jesus’ death and resurrection.

Today, the day before Ash Wednesday, we pick up our sick loved one from the hospital. They’ve been there since New Year’s day, dealing with a significant and persistent mental health issue. Now, 53 days later, they’re more stable, and going to make a new start. We hope to provide a safe and peaceful place for that continued healing to occur. And we know given the nature of the disease, that this will likely be the first of many times we pick them up from the hospital, to have a new start. How many times, Lord? Seven times? No, seven times seventy. In other words, as many times as needed.

This morning, I’m thinking about how to integrate my personal world with my Lenten practice for this year. God is not calling me to give up chocolate, but rather to love this person, to do something relevant to my world this year.

Perhaps my practice will be to engage in conversations with other caregivers about faith, caregiving, sacrifice, redemption. Perhaps it will be to pray more for my sick loved one. Or to try to engage them in a faith community. Or perhaps it’s just to use my morning reflection time to continue to reflect on their illness, their life, my life, and our savior. I don’t know.

But tomorrow I will.

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