A break

Yesterday, I read my daily bit of scripture, working my way through the love/hate relationship between Saul and his descendants and David. I did not write, because I was distracted. Our loved one is not holed up in a downtown hotel, having a staycation. They have once again thrown away all of their documentation and phone (it’s a covert tracking device, you know), and disappeared. They called the night before, telling us the banks weren’t working and the $100 we’d put in the bank as part of their monthly discretionary spending was not available. If we’d only just put more money in, everything would be fine. And oh, by the way, they’d never contact us again. By checking the phone number from where they called, it appeared to be a convenience shop about 2 hours away. So I was distracted. Today, we will drive to that town to try to find them, checking in with the police, crisis workers and psychiatric hospital. Distracted, to say the least. 

I headed to work, had a big meeting in the early afternoon, and after that meeting was informed my job is being eliminated in 3 weeks. Perhaps harder for my heart was the removal of my volunteer work as coordinator and supporter of the deacon community.

I absolutely understand why this happened, I was hired by and effectively complimented my previous boss. That was not so for the new boss, who needs to find someone and hire them who effectively compliment them. I am not that person.

I will spend the next two weeks off-loading my work to the remaining employees in as smooth a way as possible, and I believe that can be done successfully.

Meanwhile, I was struggling with how to engage with my coworkers and colleagues as well as the Church in general. I’m not one to wallow, at least for very long. Nor am I one to cut off my nose to spite my face.

Spiritual practices came to the rescue. Again. One of my go-to resources is Pray-as-you-go, (https://pray-as-you-go.org) a Jesuit daily podcast that includes some contemplative music, a brief scripture reading, some reflections, more contemplative music, and a closing prayer. It takes about 15 minutes, and is generally balm for my soul, so I brought the portable speaker in and listened as I was getting ready for my day. Today’s music was from Salt of the Sound, a haunting and beautiful version of “Abide with Me”. https://youtu.be/zotbY2A2ybM. The reading was about Jesus and the vine. Abide with me. 

It turns out that run away sick children, volunteer jobs, and paying jobs are not what define me or can dictate my outlook on life. It’s fully, completing abiding in God. I so needed to hear that.

The next few weeks may be rougher than normal, as I tumble through what this temporal world has handed me. But I can and will always return to abiding in God, eternal and changeless. Always.