But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is an instrument whom I have chosen ..”
Saul has been blinded by the flash of light, and he’s been blind for three days. He has a vision that a man named Ananias will give him his sight. Meanwhile, Ananias hears from God that he’s to go find Saul and give him his sight. Saul has been pretty rotten to the early Christians, searching them out and imprisoning them. He even held the coats of the men who stoned Stephen to death. Ananias isn’t so sure about helping Saul. But God assures him that yes, Saul is an instrument God has chosen to spread the good news to the gentiles. And so Ananias goes.
I can absolutely understand Ananias’ trepidation. If this vision is wrong, Saul could just as easily imprison him too, or worse. But he goes. That shows some faith in God’s goodness and clarity of message.
This morning, I’m thinking about God using Saul as an instrument. Saul who’d used his power and position to persecute Christians. Saul who was born a gentile. God choses Saul to build up Christianity and to go to the gentiles. God choses Saul despite his massive shortcomings.
But perhaps it’s not despite his massive shortcomings, but precisely because of his massive shortcomings, that God choses Saul.
We all have massive shortcomings. When we are honest about them, and bring them to God, God can use them, God can choose us. God can transform and renew the parts of us that had been seen as shortcomings, and use to God’s good.
I have a colleague who served in intelligence in Viet Nam. By his own account, he saw and perpetrated evil. Upon his discharge, he went to seminary and became a priest. For years, he fought this dark side of himself, tucking it away as if it could somehow be hidden from God. Eventually, a spiritual leader suggested to him that that was equally a part of him as the bright shiny parts he highlighted. He brought his whole self to God, including the dark bits. God did take those parts and transform them, and he became an authority on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, war, and spirituality. He counseled many, and spoke out on the intersection of the three. God was waiting to choose him, and to use all of him for God’s good. He just needed to bring his whole self to God.
I definitely have some traits and habits that have not served me as well as others. Today, I want to be mindful of bringing my whole self to God, so God can choose me as an instrument for God’s good. All of me.
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