May 31 2022 Day 357 Jude 1–25

These are the grumblers and malcontents; they indulge their own lusts; they are bombastic in speech, flattering people to their own advantage.



This short letter from Jude was intended to be a letter about the common salvation believers shared, quickly turned into a letter about false teaching. Given the theme of false teaching in these later short letters, it must have been a big problem.

Jude describes these interlopers as people who were grumblers and malcontents. They indulged in their own lusts, and flattered people only for their own advantage. I appreciate this concrete way of understanding false teachers. I have known people who are malcontent, who are bombastic in speech and flatter people for their own advantage. I’ve known people in the church who do these things.

Jude is not talking about how these people speak about God, or Scripture. He’s simply pointing out some personal traits that are incompatible with people who are true teachers.

I believe Scripture is the living word; through the Holy Spirit, it breathes and moves and is relevant to us, thousands of years after it was written. I believe Jude’s warnings should be heeded now too. I know people how are mal-content or not content. I know people who are bombastic. I know people who flatter for their own benefit.

What Jude is saying is that if this is what is in their soul, if this is who these people are, then what they say about religion and God may be false; it comes from an inner spirit that is not full of life and love.

We all have bad days; we can all be grumblers. What’s the difference between a person of faith who’s having a bad day and a false teacher who’s malcontent? Can I genuinely spot the difference?

What if we took a hard look at all of the leaders who have faith (political, social, religious, cultural)? What if we used this as the measuring stick against which to measure false and true teachers? What messages would we silence? What would remain? I hope that what would remain would be love and light, justice and mercy.

This morning, I’m thinking about how to identify and discard the messages in modern day that come from false teachers, as Jude describes them. Being able to do that might silence much of the noise in our world.

May 31 2022 Day 356 3 John 1–15

I have no greater joy than this, to hear that my children are walking in the truth.



This is another very short letter from someone who followed the disciple John. It focuses on three church leaders, two of whom are truly following God’s way. The third “likes to put himself first”, not so Christ-like.

This letter is written to one of the followers, and extolls the virtues of hospitality by writing, “Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the friends, even though they are strangers to you”. I love how this effectively says that there are friends who are strangers. I want to live like that.

The accompanying reflection is from Richard Foster and focuses more on what it means to be walking in the truth. He relays a story about the desert fathers (and mothers), who retreated into the desert precisely to figure out how to walk in the truth. At the time of the desert fathers and mothers, the world was asking “how can I get more”, and they asked “what can I do without”. The world asked “How can I find myself” and they asked “how can I lose myself”. The world asked “How can I win friends and influence people” and they asked “how can I love God”.

He writes further that the Anthony, one of the desert fathers sold his belongings and gave away property and retreated to the desert for 20 years of solitude. He was forced to first face and then strip away all of the worldly garbage that got between him and loving God. When he eventually emerged, he was marked with “graciousness, love, kindness, endurance, meekness, freedom from anger, and the practice of prayer.”

I believe there is great wisdom in this notion that’s thousands of years old. We need to strip away the things of the world that distract us from our truest calling – love God and love Neighbor.

This morning, I’m thinking about what I can prune from my life to provide space for me to walk in God’s truth.

May 29 2022 Day 355 2 John 1–13

From the elder to the elect lady and her children..



I do not routinely read Scripture with a feminist eye. I wouldn’t even call myself a feminist. And having read through the Holy Book, I am startled at void women play. Of course it’s a sign of the times; women really were not an equal part of society. I write that and realize the absurdity of the statement; it was 1974, in my lifetime, that women were allowed to get credit cards in their own names.

Whether it’s the celebrated Bad Girls of the Bible (a fun book to read), or the very few names highlighted in Matthew’s genealogy, women’s recorded role in the early church was so limited, when it appeared people took note.

To be clear, I don’t believe women’s role in the early church was inconsequential; rather, it was just not recorded – with very few notable exceptions. Anyone who’s been a mother, or had a mother knows the role women play in the family – even a patriarchal family. Women are arguable the glue, and probably have been forever. As the child bearers, women cannot help but have a special relationship with children, and children are the next generation of leaders.

This brief letter, entitled 2 John, was written to a woman, an unnamed woman to be sure, but a woman. She was likely the leader of a small house-church. True to form, we don’t know her name and the letter is known as the second letter of John.

This morning, I’m thinking about the unnamed, and quieted role women must have paid in the stories of Genesis through Revelation. I’m intrigued and curious and might want to learn about this more.

May 29 2022 Day 354 1 John 4:1–5:21

Those who say, “I love God,” and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen.


You’d think this would be a summarily positive book from scripture. It talks a lot about loving God, and the requisite loving neighbor. And do not misunderstand. I’m all in about loving God and loving neighbor.

I believe this letter was written by someone in the disciple John’s sphere, and that was a place and time where Christians were persecuted. As a result, John’s gospel and these letters draw a bright line around Christians, and everyone else. This letter goes so far as to say that any spirit that does not that Jesus Christ is the antichrist.

I understand that some Christians believe that Jesus is the only way to God; John certainly did. And maybe that is true. But Jesus himself pointed to God – the same God that is also called Allah and Yahweh. Perhaps I don’t follow Muslim teachings, but to suggest that devout, loving, Muslims who are children of God are the antichrist, seems like the opposite of loving your neighbor. It seems like it would be hard to love someone you’d called out as the antichrist.

So after the antichrist pronouncement, I wonder who this letter is talking about – loving God you cannot see, and loving your neighbor who you can. Was he only talking about the neighbors who agreed with him? Again, that makes me nervous.

I’m reminded of a quote from John Spong, an Episcopal Bishop who wrote, ““God is not a Christian, God is not a Jew, or a Muslim, or a Hindu, or a Buddhist. All of those are human systems which human beings have created to try to help us walk into the mystery of God. I honor my tradition, I walk through my tradition, but I don't think my tradition defines God, I think it only points me to God.”

I know Bishop Spong is not canonized in Scripture. But Jesus was. And Jesus used the Samaritan woman as an illustration of who is defined as your neighbor. And I don’t think the Samaritan woman professed Jesus as son of God.

I think Jesus’ love is broader and deeper than any human since then. I’d go so far as to suggest that Jesus’ love was absolute and all-inclusive. Anyone who tries to use the term antichrist, or to draw boundaries around who’s acceptable and who’s not, that person is not professing the same radical love as Jesus. That person is more likely trying to conform Jesus’ love to something that more closely matches their understanding of who is worthy of love and who’s not.

This morning, I’m thinking about how much better it is to be a Jesus follower than an John or Paul follower. We humans get it wrong too often.

May 27 2022 Day 353 1 John 1:1–3:24

Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed.



This first letter of John is all about love. Love God. Love your Neighbor. If you don’t love your neighbor, you walk in darkness. Part of the reason we can walk in the light is because we are God’s children now, not children of the world.

This I’ve heard before. But the second part of this sentence struck me as new, or at least it felt new today. What we will be has not yet been revealed. I like this. I don’t remember how I answered as a kid, but if you were to ask me now what I want to be when I grow up, I have no idea. What I’ve become as an adult is fascinating, and I would never have dreamed of this life.

Of course, I’ve no idea what I will be after my death. But even before then, I get this sense that my tomorrow will reveal itself tomorrow. It’s a glorious unfolding of my days and years. I’ve had some weird turns, and at the time, they made no sense.

Even now, looking back, some of the twists in my life still don’t make sense. But it still feels like a glorious unfolding. But what I will be tomorrow, next year, ten years from now, has not yet been revealed. But I’m certain it will be glorious.

May 26 2022 Day 352 2 Peter 3:1–18

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.



This is the closing request of the second letter of Peter. Grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. Seems simple enough. But the accompanying reflection, from Dallas Willard, challenges the simplicity of this. He writes that the church has been “smothered by mass culture, mindless “prosperity,” insipid education, and pseudo-egalitarianism.” As a result, the church has lost the ability to help the individual grow in grace and knowledge in Jesus.

Willard strengthens his case with a quote from John Wesley. Wesley wrote that the early church believed that the soul and body make the person, while the spirit and discipline make the Christian. He continues by questioning where is the Christian, because where is the discipline?

From these two perspectives, I surmise that the church has lost its way in the business of supporting the person in their growth in grace and knowledge, and at the same time, the person has lost its way in Christian discipline. Both of these losses are felt by the individual, both the individual who is trying to grow, and the one who’s grown apathetic.

While sad, I think this is true. Many churches have lost sight of their mission to grow Christians. When the mission of the church becomes something other than that, the individuals don’t grow as Christians. As a deacon, I’m all about the causes, about righting the wrong, striving for justice, comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. And I know that without a strong Christian spirit and discipline, I’ve got no one to bring with me, and I cannot do it alone.

As an individual, I absolutely fall prey to the lack of Christian discipline. It is so much easier for me to go out and do, or to write, or to organize. To be regularly refueled, I need an ever-growing Christian discipline so that I can grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. I’m not suggesting I don’t do anything, but my tendency will always be to short-change the prayer and discipline, so I can go set the world on fire.

This morning, I’m thinking about how to stay fueled, to grow in my Christian discipline, so I can do some constructive afflicting.

May 25 2022 Day 351 2 Peter 1:1–2:21

[F]or people are slaves to whatever masters them.



The author of 2 Peter is extolling the virtues of patience. At the same time, he’s condemning the false prophets, who at one point were aware of the Good News, but fell away due to a love of the world.

He explains that people speak “bombastic nonsense”, and they promise freedom but are slaves of corruption. Being a slave is something I’ve always thought of as something done to another person. Someone is involuntarily enslaved. This author is arguing that people enslave themselves. They become slaves to whatever masters them. Yes! And the problem with this self-enslavement is that we frequently don’t even see it happening. One thing leads to another, and eventually we’re beholden to a master we would otherwise never choose.

I’m a little nervous about this very phenomenon in my home. This morning, at 5:30, my loved one came down to chat. We got up out of bed, while they sat at in the kitchen. Never mind that we were previously sleeping. Honestly, that sense of immediate gratification is a symptom of their significant brain disorder, but it’s tiresome to be sure.

We groggily made our way to the kitchen. It turns out, they wanted to know if we had any work for them today, so they could get paid. This is in addition to a monthly allowance as well as other less-than-ideal-but-legal ways to get cash, all of which is spent. Their next allowance payment will arrive in the beginning of June. Um, not sure if we have any work. Are you sure? How about mowing? We did that already. How about . . . .? Not sure.

When that wasn’t immediately fruitful, they asked if we’d pay them for work yet to be done. We replied, we don’t have cash. Can we go to the ATM now so you can get cash and pay me? Um, no. We don’t prepay for work you haven’t done.

With this, they stormed out, slammed the door and exclaimed that they won’t be taking their morning medications either. Slam!

Unfortunately, my loved one is a slave to some master, self-enslaved. On one hand, this signifies fleeting good news. They have been so symptomatic and sick that they were unable to have reasoned conversations with us for the past three years. So to have them argue so clearly (and yet so wrong-headedly) is a sign that their symptoms are not as pronounced.

But that is fleeting, as they’ve connected taking their meds with somehow punishing us or being something that will hurt us. While that is true, it will hurt them more.

Being involuntarily enslaved by schizophrenia is horrid. Being voluntarily enslaved by anything is insidious, and equally horrid. This morning, I’m thinking about how to support my enslaved love one from all their masters.

May 24 2022 Day 350 1 Peter 3:1–5:14

But rejoice insofar as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, so that you may also be glad and shout for joy when his glory is revealed. 

Rejoice when we suffer. This is not a normal reaction to suffering. By definition, suffering means to be exposed to or to experience something bad or unpleasant. To be human means to suffer, whether in our own experiences or those of our loved ones. How could our reaction to that be to rejoice?

The accompanying reflection provides some further thoughts. It’s from Pope John Paul II, and contemplates the cross. He writes that the cross is the very symbol of our Christian faith. A cross is an icon – a sign of things much more complicated than two perpendicular lines. With the cross, we see how humanity treated Jesus. Through that, we see how we treat each other. Jealousy, betrayal, abuse, and ultimately killing. The cross is the sign of all things evil. And we gladly adorn our houses of worship, homes, and ourselves with this icon.

But greater than these evils, the cross is the sign of all things good. Restoration, renewal, forgiveness, defeat of evil, life.

The cross isn’t one or the other. It isn’t an icon of only bad or good. It tells us of both. If we forget that and only see the good, we lose the incredible joy that the good brings, because we haven’t contemplated walked through the suffering.

This is why and how we rejoice at suffering. It’s when we suffer that Christ’s love and power and mercy are so starkly amazing. This reminds me of when I’ve been sick and that first day when I’m feeling better. I feel like I can leap tall buildings. The contrast between how I felt before and how I feel when I’m even a little better is predictable, and I’m more grateful for the good, after having been through the bad.

This morning, I’m thinking about how to read even more into a cross, how to see it as both an icon of the suffering and the subsequent greater joy that we experience as Christians.

May 22 2022 Day 349 1 Peter 1:1–2:25

When he was abused, he did not return abuse; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.

Peter is writing to a people who’ve been persecuted. Immediately before this passage he’s talking to slaves, telling them to abide their masters, both their fair and just masters and the unjust. Now, I’m not condoning slavery or bad masters, but I am struck by this comparison to Jesus.

Peter writes that when Jesus was abused, he did not return the abuse, and when he suffered he did not threaten. He even writes that he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. But before that ultimate judgment, he did stand before the earthly judges, who passed a judgment of cruel, public execution. And yet, Jesus did not act.

Through all of that, the abuse, suffering, false judgment and execution, he kept his entrusted himself entirely to the one who judges justly.

How are we to understand this, in the light of modern-day slavery, corruption, aggression, war and murder? Are we to just suffer, keeping our eyes on God? What about the notion that we are to help?

These references about Jesus are about his personal life, his personal suffering, his personal abuse, and ultimately, his personal death. About these things and about his personal life, he had absolutely trust in God, the most just judge. Jesus did not alter these actions, or seek retribution, or return fire with fire. He kept his eyes focused on God.

When he saw suffering in others, abuse in others, he acted. He healed, he protected, he loved. He carried their burdens. But he did not use his fully-divine nature to change the course of his God-made-man life.

This morning, I’m thinking about how to carry my burdens with without complaint, while at the same time keeping my eye on the just judge, and striving to alleviate the suffering of others.

May 19 2022 Day 348 James 3:1–5:20

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.” Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring.

Yes! What business do we have saying that tomorrow or next week or next year, we will do something in particular. My husband and I have learned this well. At one time, we were going to get jobs overseas with our family. We even tried it, with him taking an assignment in Iraq for six months. Alas, six weeks in, his office was ruined in a car bomb, so he returned home.

There was a time, probably 10 years ago when we thought we were going to try to retire early, buy a small RV, and travel the country. I even went so far as to buy him a beautiful guide book to all of the national parks. We’d even had our first trip planned. Then his parents’ health declined, and they moved across the country to live with us.

Next we thought we were going to sell our big expensive things that tied us down, like house and car, and move into an apartment in downtown Portland. We even did it for about 3 months. Then schizophrenia happened. We moved out of the apartment, bought a house and car and settled down for the long haul in Portland. Then I lost my job and ministry.

So here we sit, across the country in Pittsburgh, with a multi-family home and a car and with our loved one living upstairs. We are even contemplating purchasing another former grand home to renovate and rent for below-market in this lovely, if not tired community.

And yet, I have zero confidence that our ‘plans’ for the future will turn out as we’ve imagined; none of our plans so far have. This letter to Timothy continues, suggesting that instead of us stating our plans, we should open each plan with ‘If the Lord wishes, we will do this or that’. Isn’t that the truth?

I haven’t quite gotten to the place where I hand it over to God’s will. I know it’s true, but it’s so removed and ethereal. What’s been easier for me is to acknowledge the illness in my house. The significant brain disorder we live with is capricious and arbitrary. Nothing is certain in our circumstances because nothing is certain in our loved one’s. It’s easy to realize that our future is not set, looking at our loved one. And yet, behind the illness, behind the job loss, behind the ill parents, God is ultimately in control.

Although the changes haven’t always been easy, each time, we’ve landed well. That, I absolutely ascribe to God.

This morning, I’m thinking about ascribing to God my entire future. Sure, I have thoughts about what’s happening next, but it’s all ultimately up to God. Sometimes it’s easier to be a passenger anyway.

May 21 2022 Day 347 James 1:1–2:26

For if a person with gold rings and in fine clothes comes into your assembly, and if a poor person in dirty clothes also comes in, and if you take notice of the one wearing the fine clothes and say, “Have a seat here, please,” while to the one who is poor you say, “Stand there,” or, “Sit at my feet,” have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?



Several years ago, I was serving at a church in Oregon. I was in the middle of reading the Gospel, standing in the aisle, with two acolytes standing next to me with their lighted candles called torches. Everyone was standing and watching me, or if not me, the Gospel book. In the middle of this, a woman came in to the space with her three kids under 5. She’d been there before once or twice so people recognized her. I doubt anyone knew her name.

She shuffled in, tried to juggle kids to get into the pew and the children were noisy, like small kids are. All eyes turned from me to her. I paused reading, and momently was testy, because she’d interrupted me. But then I noticed all of the others in church and their expressions. They were visibly sneering, exasperated, and looking down their noses. That made my frustration instantly disappear. There’s nothing like your own ugly behavior magnified in others, to point out just how ugly it is.

The mother didn’t understand the cultural norms of the church. Wait until the reading is finished before walking in. Put your children in the nursery instead of having them disrupt others. Don’t look like an exasperated single mother, even if you are.

If the woman who’d come in was well heeled, or the children were not quite so dirty and loud, I fully believe she’d been more welcomed. The congregation had made precisely the judgment James is warning against. The mother did not return, and I cannot blame her.

In contrast, I’ve attended a congregation in a very urban setting, that frequently gets worshippers who are homeless, or clearly in some mental health crisis. The congregation is deeply caring and tolerant. It can be done.

Of course, this plays out in all the places I find myself: in the grocery store, on the street, at work. Why is it that we do that? Why is it people who are poor and disheveled are always the ones who are scorned? How can I avoid that moment of frustration or condescension when I’m faced with someone who doesn’t understand or cannot play by my societal or cultural rules? I absolutely do not know. Perhaps this is where God’s grace comes in. Perhaps it’s acknowledging before I go into the store or church or where ever, that everyone I see is beloved in the eyes of God.

This morning I’m thinking about how to invoke God’s grace before I sneer.

May 19 2022 Day 346 Hebrews 12:1–13:25

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.



In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus says that in order to inherit eternal life, the wealthy lawyer need to love his neighbor. But who is my neighbor? Jesus continues with the story of the Good Samaritan. A perceived enemy of the Jewish people, it was the Samaritan who stopped to help the man who’d been left for dead. The implication is clear. You need to love your neighbor, even the neighbor you perceive as the enemy. 

This teaching from Hebrews is in the similar vein and in some ways, even more expansive. Not only are we to love our neighbors, we are to show hospitality to strangers. In the biblical sense, to love someone isn’t an emotion or a sentimentality. It’s an active verb requiring empathy and action. And still, it’s sometimes easier to think about loving your neighbor in a figurative way.

I’ve heard people explain that their love for the enemy neighbor exhibits itself in weekly prayer for political leaders with whom they vehemently disagree. I’m quite sure that’s not what Jesus meant, with the story of the Samaritan. And still, we all do it. We try to show some empathy for the addict, or the convicted. But empathy alone doesn’t show love. It’s necessary but not sufficient. To love our neighbor, we frequently stop short of person-to-person contact.

But to show hospitality? That requires contact. We need to invite, host, share. Being hospitable forces us to connect, at least momentarily. Hospitality is sort of a bite-sized version of love.

To truly love our neighbor, we need to both empathize and pray for them, as well as take actions for their benefit. Frequently, it seems to me, we try to empathize or pray, and stop short of acting. Or we think our thoughts will form and inspire our actions. This, I fear, is the problem with all of the thoughts and prayers about violence. We pray and hold vigils, and then don’t act. We let ourselves off the hook with our good intentions.

What if we turned that around? What if before true empathy and prayers, we acted? What if we showed hospitality to the stranger first? If I share a meal with my less-desirable neighbors, how much easier would it be to empathize, and to truly love them afterwards?

This morning, I’m thinking about how to show hospitality to strangers, so that I might move to the active side of love. With Memorial Day coming up, I have the chance to show hospitality to strangers. What about you?

May 18 2022 Day 345 Hebrews 10:1–11:40

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.



For such a literal person, I love the concept of faith. It pushes my comfort of cognitive understanding. How can we have a conviction of things not seen? How can we be sure of things we’ve merely hoped for? I’m deeply grateful that my need for understanding stops short of needing to understand faith. I’m absolutely willing to have faith and hope and assurance and conviction when it comes to God. It doesn’t make sense, given the rest of my countenance. Thanks be to God for that!

Faith and trust in God don’t make sense; it’s illogical. The accompanying reflection is from Brennan Manning, a theologian and Franciscan. He writes, “In order to grow in trust, we must allow God to see us and love us precisely as we are. The best way to do that is through prayer.” I think this is spot on. I tend to be pretty transparent. God knows and sees and loves me, in all of my brokenness. I don’t try to hide my flaws from anyone, lest of all God. So when I sense God’s love, I’ve never doubted it’s the whole me that’s loved. That does, indeed increase trust and faith in God. I’d recommend it highly to anyone.

Maybe some of this comes form a tradition that week by week, includes a public confession of sin. Thought, word and deed. Things done and left undone. I confess to God. Then, week by week, I hear of God’s love and blessing over me, despite whatever’s come up. Taken seriously, it’s a vulnerable prayer, exposing all of our dark bits to God. And we are assured of God’s love.

Manning continues, “As we pray, the unrestricted love of God gradually transforms us.” Yes! It’s through ever-increasing honest exposure of myself to God’s grace and light, that my dark bits are restored, renewed and forgiven.

This morning, I’m thinking about the great benefit of prayer in a new light. It’s a direct way to increase my faith and trust in God, because in prayer I’m showered in God’s love and light.

May 17 2022 Day 344 Hebrews 7:1–9:28

See how great he is!



I must admit that this is probably the most confusing sections thus far in our walk through Scripture. I attribute this to several things including: Paul’s lengthy and complicated sentences; the use of words like “it”, that leave me wondering what “it” is that’s referenced; the use of arguments with the Jewish people from the New Testament, that they don’t endorse; the use of heady theological arguments that I don’t understand. So I picked a brief, understandable sentences that is not contingent on understanding what came before, or after.

Some of the arguments Paul is making to the Jewish people revolve around the fact that Jesus is a priest like Melchizedek, that Jesus is the new high priest, and that only if the old high priests were insufficient would there be need for a new one, that he receives tithes from great people and is holy, that the former great high priests went into the innermost portion of the temple with animal blood sacrifices every year, but Jesus dismantled that structure and offered his own blood as a sacrifice once – and for all.

I think I understand most of these concepts, but just barely. And I couldn’t explain them without a lot of research. Even then, I might fall into the trap of using source documents that aren’t validated by the audience I’m addressing. This reminds me of talking with atheists. You can’t use Scripture to defend God if you’re talking with people who don’t believe anything from Scripture.

It's also possible that I don’t understand these ideas at all; understanding involves some amount of cognitive recognition. I suspect it’s more likely that I don’t understand these at all, because I can’t wrap my head around these concepts. Rather, I can say I believe them, not through cognitive understanding but by God-given faith.

Reading through Scripture has been an interesting exercise for me, as it’s been a great exercise in different kinds of thinking. I spend a lot of time in my cognitive understanding way of thinking. When I’m challenged to just believe, it’s like driving a stick shift car, and not shifting smoothly. Clunk, grind. The more I work on the different ways of understanding, believing, and knowing, my shifting is getting smoother.

At the end of the day, I’m grateful for the exercise, and for simple sentences like, “See how great he is!”

May 16 2022 Day 343 Hebrews 4:1–6:20

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.



I appreciate this notion. Jesus, having been fully human, experienced all of the joys and sorrows, contentedness and anxiety that I have. Perhaps the context was a different, but he understood. And with his ascension and returning back to God, so does God. Jesus was God’s human envoy to our experience.

With this knowledge what are we to do? The accompanying reflection is from Madeline L’Engle, author of the children’s book, A Wrinkle in Time. She talks about the vast knowledge we have. We know how to make cars, split the atom, make advances in keeping people alive. This is strict knowledge, things we can learn or know.

The challenge is that this knowledge isn’t enough. Once we built cars, split the atom, made medical advances, we have huge problems. Cars become vehicles to kill, either in unintentional accidents or intentional bombs. Split atoms created the horrors at Hiroshima, and threats of nuclear annihilation. Medical care advances have created ethical crises both at conception and end of life. It turns out, knowledge is not enough.

We need wisdom. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing to not put it in a fruit salad.

Where do we get true wisdom, beyond the question of tomatoes? From genuine connection and prayer with God. As L’Engle wrote, “And the power of prayer is greater than the Pentagon. It is greater than the greed and corruption which can still conceive of a nuclear holocaust as survivable. It is greater than the bomb. It can help bring wisdom to our knowledge, wisdom which is all that will keep us from destroying ourselves with our knowledge.”

This morning, I’m thinking about how genuinely I believe that prayer is greater than greed and corruption. I definitely want to believe prayer is greater than the bomb. I want to believe prayer will prevent our mutual destruction. Closer to home, I want to believe prayer will end life-altering illnesses. And sometimes I feel impotent. I pray, and bad things continue. Does that mean that prayer is ineffective? That I’m not praying hard enough? Most days, I reject that defeatist attitude about prayer. But sometimes, it’s right there.

And yet, I continue to pray. I know of no other antidote to the world’s ills. More importantly, I know of no other way for me to retain any semblance of contentedness. In the midst of all of these bad things, prayer helps me have hope. God will do what God will do, in God’s time. C.S. Lewis wrote, “[Prayer] doesn’t change God. It changes me.”

I think one of my growing edges is to continue to grow in my faith in the power of prayer. Today, I’ll work on that.

May 13 2022 Day 342 Hebrews 1:1–3:19

Long ago God spoke to our ancestors in many and various ways by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by a Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, through whom he also created the worlds.



The Letter to Hebrews is often attributed to Paul, but its authorship is actually unknown. Regardless of its authorship, this letter is an attempt to explain why Jesus is the fulfilment of Hebrew Scripture. At the risk of being a heretic, the premise is a little off-putting to me. Much of the argument is based on New Testament Scripture. If the Hebrew people don’t ascribe to what the New Testament says, using it as the proof of an argument feels circular. It’s similar to my sick loved one using their own writings to try to prove to me their delusions. I also bristle when one religion tries to convert another, especially when we all believe in and worship the same God. I’m not likely to ever become Jewish, but I’m glad that tradition exists and works for so many. Same is true for becoming Muslim. While I understand there are distinct differences and possibly beliefs that are mutually exclusive, I maintain the similarities in believing in the same God are greater.

Now that my rant is out of the way..

The author is trying to explain that Jesus is the son of God, and through Jesus, all things should be understood. I’m reminded of the beginning of the Gospel of John, “In the beginning was the Word.. and through him all things came into being”. I’ll admit, I don’t fully understand this notion. I can’t figure it out. But without that cognitive understanding, I can believe it.

The accompanying reflection for this passage is by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Lutheran Pastor and killed by the Nazis mere days before those held captive were freed. He writes that Jesus is the mediator, between us and God. But more, Jesus is the mediator between me and the world I live in, between me and the reality I find myself, and between me and everyone else. Hmm.

This morning, I’m thinking about the concept of Jesus being the mediator between me and everything else, between me and everyone else. There have been times where I’ve needed something mediated, where a third party needed to help untangle some situation. When that mediator is fair and just, the resolution is delightful. When the mediator is biased or unjust, any resolution does not feel resolved and it certainly doesn’t feel just.

The values of the mediator matter. They frame the outcome, and tint everything about the interaction. I like the notion that Jesus is or should be the mediator between me and everything and everyone. Every interaction I have with another child of God should be taken as if Jesus were between us. The conversations and greetings judged by God-the-Son. It’s not just the big decisions or hard situations, but everything.

Bonhoeffer goes on to write that some people want to skip the mediator, and go right to the god they’ve conjured. The problem with that is that God is so massive and incomprehensible, that it’s easy to form God into a reflection of our own values, so direct interaction with that image of God only supports our imperfectness. As author Anne Lamott writes, “You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

I need a mediator. I need a fair and just and merciful mediator. As it turns out, I need Jesus.

May 12 2022 Day 341 Philemon 1

Perhaps this is the reason he was separated from you for a while, so that you might have him back forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave, a beloved brother—



Paul’s on chapter letter to Philemon is about a runaway slave, persuasion versus compulsion, reparations, and reunification. At the time, slavery was common practice, as was executing runaway slaves. Paul has met and become a father figure to Onesimus, a runaway slave of Philemon. This brief letter is Paul’s attempt to persuade Philemon to accept Onesimus back, without the harsh penalty of execution.

Paul writes that he’d rather persuade Philemon to do the right thing, rather than keep Onesimus without Philemon’s consent. I would do well to remember that, particularly with my loved one. As it turns out, I truly cannot compel them to do much of anything, as a grown adult. I can turn natural consequences into unnatural coercive penalties, and I have tried that approach. In my head it feels like it’s a natural consequence, but if I examine my motives, I just want to bend their will to my way. Never mind that they’re an adult, able to make up their own mind. That whole brain disorder makes me think otherwise sometimes. But as Paul wisely points out, persuasion is always better than compulsion. We just have to be willing to have our persuasive arguments fail; by returning Onesimus to Philemon with arguments of persuasion, Paul risks Onesimus’ execution if Philemon is unconvinced. Such is the risk of persuasion.

As a way of trying to convince Philemon, Paul agrees to pay any debts owed by Onesimus. In this different era, where slavery is not customary or accepted, I struggle with the notion that reparations are due because of a slave’s actions; I’m far more comfortable with the notion that reparations are due because of the slave-owner’s actions. But at that time, Paul’s offer was generous and hopefully convincing. He’s offering to repay the debts of a person, to free that person. Um, sort of like Jesus.

Finally, Paul argues to Philemon that his separation from Onesimus was perhaps a set up so Onesimus could return as brother, rather than slave. This would allow reunification without the horrible power differential that existed before.

This morning, I’m thinking about relationships that change into something better. With my sick loved one, I believe we are slowly turning our relationship from one with a significant power differential (parent), to one of more collaboration (caregiver). We remain to parents to be sure, but hopefully we’re able to be reunified without that power differential.

Day 340 Titus 1:1–3:15

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, despicable, hating one another.



Paul writes to his protégé, Titus, who’s been sent to Crete. Apparently, there are many who offer false teachings, and Titus has an uphill battle. Paul’s letter of encouragement is simple and very basic; we were joyful sinners, and through God’s grace, we try not to be. God’s grace is unearned and unreasonable, and yet it’s freely given.

Paul’s story is one of extreme grace and saving. Known as Saul, he persecuted Christians, and even held the coats of people killing the Christian prophet and first martyr Stephen. He then is blinded and eventually the scales from his eyes as he encounters the risen Christ. An absolute convert.

This morning, I’m thinking about less stark demarcations between before Christ and after. In my tradition, we baptize babies as infants. Some disagree with this notion, suggesting that infants don’t understand. A wise priest friend once countered by asking whether any of us understand the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that happens at baptism. Hmm. Yup.

So for baptized infants, was their time of disobedience the time before baptism? Or what about adults who live lovely lives but are not baptized. Is there a time for either the baptized infant or the unbaptized adult when the scales fell from their eyes and they understood?

Conversely, what about me? I was baptized as an infant, but I can assure you that there have been times that I’ve been foolish, led astray, slave to pleasures, and partaking in malice. I suspect all people of faith have lived on that side of the ledger. Paul himself writes about doing what he does not want to do.

So what’s all this talk about we were once something, but are no more. I don’t think it’s that simple. There’s a great old hymn that used to be in our hymnal. The music remains in updated hymnals but these lyrics have been removed. “Once to every man and nation, comes the moment to decide. In the strife of truth and falsehood, for the good or evil side”.

Nope, said the editors of the hymnal. It’s not a one-time offer. We are not given just one moment to decide. We decide day after day after day.

So perhaps Paul is trying to boil things down to a basic dichotomy. Or he’s sharing his wisdom framed from his very stark moment of before vs. after.

I am certainly a person who could see things in false dichotomies, but I know the world is not nearly as neat as offering two opposed options. Perhaps that language helped the people of Crete, but I don’t believe it helps those of us with messy lives, who spend much more time in the land of both/and, rather than either/or. I’m grateful there is not just one moment to decide, that I’m given the opportunity to return to God hour by hour, minute by minute.

May 11 2022 Day 339 2 Timothy 3:1–4:22

All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work.



And so Paul’s second letter to Timothy concludes. Paul knows his end is near, and he encourages Timothy to use scripture for teaching, correction and training. What a novel idea! Recently, I’ve re-realized that whenever I’m uncertain or questioning the right direction, it turns out that scripture does provide the answer. What a novel idea! Of course, it helps to have recently read through the entire Bible, so I have a chance of being able to pull out something relevant. But when all else fails, I can always remember Jesus’ commandments – Love God. Love your neighbor.

The accompanying reflection today is from Eugene Peterson, an immensely accessible writer, who frequently allows me to understand things I wouldn’t otherwise understand. Today’s reflection focuses on the differences between people of faith and those who don’t have faith. He writes that believers take God very seriously, we believe that God works in our lives, and we attribute to God the things we see and experience day-to-day. Creation, acts of redemption, examples of help and compassion.

In all of Paul’s letters, Peterson writes that for people of faith, every work is a ‘natural, inevitable, and faithful development out of God’s work’. Yes!

He continues that the problem we have is not work itself, but “senseless work, vain work, futile work, work that takes place apart from God”. Yes! Yes!

In a few weeks, I have the honor of putting together an online gathering of deacons from throughout the country, where we’ll talk about faith and work, about prayer and work. This little passage from Peterson will come in handy!

I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to read through scripture, to pray, to think, and to write. It strengthens me daily, even the days I don’t want to do it!

May 9 2022 Day 338 2 Timothy 1:1–2:26

May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chain.

This is Paul’s second letter to Timothy, a letter full of talk of suffering and enduring. Apparently, Paul knew his time to meet the executioner was nearing, but he stood strong and proud despite his suffering. He asks God’s mercy on the house of Onesiphorus, because Onesiphorus was not ashamed of Paul’s chains.

So not only was Paul not ashamed of the situation he found himself, he valued those who also did not feel ashamed of the situation he found himself.

Shame is a powerful thing, so steeped in culture and history, it’s hard to pinpoint its source. For a while I was working my way through an art book, designed to open up our creative channels. The premise was that as small children, we played, sang songs, made art, with abandon. At some point, our exuberance for that self-expression is curtailed. Don’t sing so loud. You can’t be an artist. Look at how good her picture is. We become self conscious and nearly ashamed of our efforts. Identifying the source of that embarrassment is tricky, and hard to overcome.

My sick loved one frequently behaves in way that is outlandish, including their outfits and their conversations. From observation, it appears they are not embarrassed. And from observation, it appears that I am.

But I shouldn’t be embarrassed for them, any more than I should be embarrassed by anyone else’s behavior. Their behavior is their behavior, not mine. More important, I love them and their broken brain. I love them, and their dumb choices. I love them and their choices. There is something very powerful about abandoning the shackles of embarrassment and shame for others. It makes absolutely no sense.

And it’s even more powerful to abandon the shackles of embarrassment and shame for myself. Whether it’s my mediocre bowling, or attempts at art, it’s fully who I am. More poignant to me now as we head into summer clothing season is the whole body image embarrassment. I’m not a tall person, and frequently shopped in the ‘petite’ section, so things were short enough. Alas, I’m neither truly a petite person. I genuinely have big bones. I also have that middle-age body shape morphing happening. I’m definitely not petite, but have for years wanted to be. I wanted to have a different body shape too, while I’m at it. I’m built like my dad, who was a short and very stocky guy (28” inseam and probably 5’5”). 

I can cognitively know that I don’t need to be embarrassed by my body. To be clear, I don’t cower in shame, but it rears its ugly head pretty regularly. I’d venture to guess that this is true for many, many women. And truth be told, none of should ever feel embarrassed by our bodies. This morning, I’m thinking about how to refuse to play into the body shaming, for me or anyone else.

May 6 2022 Day 337 1 Timothy 4:1–6:21

But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.



This is what immediately precedes the “love of money is the root of evil”, and it provides more clarity to me than its better-known successor. The problem isn’t money itself. People who have money can be perfectly fine. The problem is when someone wants to be rich, wants to have money. That’s when we fall into trouble.

The accompanying reflection is from Bernard of Clairvaux, a twelfth century monk. He wrote, “He who loves money is not satisfied; he who loves luxury is not satisfied; he who loves glory is not satisfied”. There’s something about having stuff that makes us want more stuff, having money makes us want more money, having fine things makes us want more fine things. A person who wants a better ________ will never be happy with their current ______. Even when they get the newest thingy, they’ll be soon discontent with it, seeking the next thingy. Phones and other personal technology are a great example, and I definitely get swept into that. In the past two years, I’ve had an Apple watch, and a Fitbit, and am now itching to figure out what’s next. Ugh.

How do we stop that endless cycle? For me, moderation is not the answer. I cannot regulate my desires for new and better, as long as I’m in the game. As long as there’s something technological strapped to my wrist, or in my back pocket, I’m always wondering about the next iteration.

Again, for me, the answer is to stop playing at all. Just say no. This has been a successful strategy for income. In the past two years, my family has gone from two incomes to less than ½ of an income. It’s amazing how much less I “need”, now that I just don’t have it. We are making financial choices very differently, now that we aren’t simply eyeing the next pay raise to support our next whatever.

Money itself isn’t the problem. The problem is that when we have a taste of something society has deemed better or more valuable, we get trapped into thinking we need the thing that’s better or more valuable. That makes us make choices that are self-defeating; how much fun is it to work so much to make money that you have no time to enjoy it?

For me, I’m about ready to take the watch off entirely, to step off that track.

May 3 2022 Day 336 1 Timothy 1:1–3:16

But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.



Paul is writing to his mentee, Timothy. He’s again explaining that he was the worst of the worst, and still he received mercy. It’s not just that he received mercy and was a sinner and acted ignorantly, but Paul says he received mercy BECAUSE he was a sinner and acted ignorantly.

Hmm. So it’s not just an amazing coincidence that we’re sinners and receive mercy. It’s more like a causal relationship; act ignorantly then receive mercy. This is both comforting and a little troubling.

It’s comforting if I think about me and my ignorance. I’m extremely grateful that God grants me mercy despite my ignorance and unbelief. While I try to live right, I know I don’t do it consistently, so it’s nice to know I don’t have to be perfect. Of course I know I’m not perfect, but we all try, right? And to know that despite my failings, I’m shown mercy is wonderful.

It's also comforting to know that people I love and care about are shown mercy, despite their ignorance and unbelief. Some of the people I care most about have a deep vein of unbelief, and yet I hold out hope that God will show them mercy.

That unearned mercy however isn’t so comforting when I think of some other people. To be clear, I’m not suggesting that there aren’t consequences for sin, but Paul definitely sinned and as he says, he was shown mercy because of his ignorance and unbelief. So what about abusers, pedophiles, perpetrators of violence? Less visible but perhaps more insidious, what about people who put in place laws that harm? Governments that oppress? Judicial systems that perpetuate the school to prison pipeline? Economic leaders who keep some countries in abject poverty? Do I really want these people to be shown unearned mercy?

Cognitively, I believe that to be right. Of course everyone deserves God’s mercy. Why then, is it hard to imagine that fill in the blank is going to receive mercy? When I think about this kind of unimaginable mercy from God, I’m reminded of a scene in Dead Man Walking, where Sean Penn’s character is strapped to the table, about to be executed for heinous crimes. Susan Sarandon, playing Sister Helen Prejean, advocates for his life, and counsels him. At the end of his crummy life, he repents, right before this scene. Is he shown God’s mercy? Did he deserve it? Prejean believed so.

Maybe my list of the undeserving isn’t your list, but I suspect we all have one. This morning, I’m thinking about who I’d really struggle with the notion that they receive God’s unearned mercy. Who am I to decide whether someone deserves it or not? Perhaps today, God can grant me some grace to see God’s mercy as God sees it.

May 3 2022 Day 335 2 Thessalonians 1:1–3:18

Brothers and sisters, do not be weary in doing what is right.



My sick loved one has taught me a lot. One thing I’ve learned is very similar to this appeal from Paul, do not be weary in doing what is right.

Very frequently, the rules of common sense or consequences are missing or distorted in conversations with someone with schizophrenia. What we believe is logical makes no sense to them, and conversely, what makes perfect sense to them makes no sense to us. Their sense of right and wrong, real and unreal, visible and invisible is warped by the brain disorder.

My husband and I try to do what’s right, and it’s met with anger and frustration, as our loved one truly doesn’t understand or see things the same as we do. We’ve taken to consoling each other that it’s always right to do what’s right. That seems redundant or unnecessary. But with this illness, there is no common understanding of what’s right. Even when you’re parenting a toddler or teen, there is a glimmer of recognition of what’s right and wrong. But not so with this brain disorder. We frequently second guess ourselves because there’s no common understanding. It’s always right to do what’s right.

Paul is appealing to the people of Thessaloniki for a second time. Apparently his first letter was read by some as a defense of idleness, waiting for Jesus to return, or as a defense used by false teachers to have the people follow the false teachers. Paul urges them to not weary in doing what’s right. Stay the course. Don’t be idle.

This morning, I’m thinking about ways to continue to do right, without feeling weary. Part of the answer is relying on my husband, and perhaps more is to find more moments of prayerful respite.

May 2 2022 Day 334 1 Thessalonians 4:1–5:28

Pray without ceasing.



Oh, if it were that simple. Last night, our loved one heard my husband get up to let the cat out in the middle of the night. Having heard that he was ‘up’, they called my husband to see if they could borrow something. I assure you it was not a prayer that was on my lips. And earlier yesterday, water was pouring into my living room, through a previously small hole in ceiling. It was not the recently repaired roof failing, but rather a poorly place window air conditioner, that was collecting rain, and sheeting it down into the living room. No prayers there, either. Or even during the day, when I had no energy and sat and binge-watched stupid crime TV. No prayers then.

I like the notion of praying without ceasing, but I cannot manage to do it, for even part of a day. I wonder if Paul really did. Sure, in my better moments I can pray through boredom, insomnia, anger, frustration. But mostly not.

The accompanying reflection is from the mystic book, The Cloud of Unknowing. In it, the author says that, “Prayer in itself is nothing but a devout reaching out directly to God in order to attain the good and to do away with evil.”. They write that only two prayers are really ever needed, without thought or pensiveness. The first prayer is to banish sin, evil and death, and simply is sin. God knows what that prayer is, and it’s simple enough, we should be able to pray it, even without ceasing. The other prayer is equally short, and equally simple. God. The author writes, “Do not wonder why I set these words above all others. If I could think of any shorter words which so completely contained in themselves all good and all evil as do these two words, or if God taught me to use any other words, I would take them and leave these two”. They continue that if these words don’t strike a chord with you, leave them and take up equally simple prayer words.



I’m reminded of the book by Annie Lamott, where she’s done just that. Her book, “Help. Thanks. Wow”, are her three prayer words, and similar to the Cloud of Unknowing, she says that these three simple words are all we need. I’m not sure whether those are my three words, but I appreciate a more modern version of the Cloud of Unknowing’s advice of short, simple prayer word.

This morning, I’m thinking about the times in my life where I find it hardest to pray, and to think of the word or words that might become my super-simple prayer word, to help me take a step closer to praying without ceasing.