But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
Paul is writing to his mentee, Timothy. He’s again explaining that he was the worst of the worst, and still he received mercy. It’s not just that he received mercy and was a sinner and acted ignorantly, but Paul says he received mercy BECAUSE he was a sinner and acted ignorantly.
Hmm. So it’s not just an amazing coincidence that we’re sinners and receive mercy. It’s more like a causal relationship; act ignorantly then receive mercy. This is both comforting and a little troubling.
It’s comforting if I think about me and my ignorance. I’m extremely grateful that God grants me mercy despite my ignorance and unbelief. While I try to live right, I know I don’t do it consistently, so it’s nice to know I don’t have to be perfect. Of course I know I’m not perfect, but we all try, right? And to know that despite my failings, I’m shown mercy is wonderful.
It's also comforting to know that people I love and care about are shown mercy, despite their ignorance and unbelief. Some of the people I care most about have a deep vein of unbelief, and yet I hold out hope that God will show them mercy.
That unearned mercy however isn’t so comforting when I think of some other people. To be clear, I’m not suggesting that there aren’t consequences for sin, but Paul definitely sinned and as he says, he was shown mercy because of his ignorance and unbelief. So what about abusers, pedophiles, perpetrators of violence? Less visible but perhaps more insidious, what about people who put in place laws that harm? Governments that oppress? Judicial systems that perpetuate the school to prison pipeline? Economic leaders who keep some countries in abject poverty? Do I really want these people to be shown unearned mercy?
Cognitively, I believe that to be right. Of course everyone deserves God’s mercy. Why then, is it hard to imagine that fill in the blank is going to receive mercy? When I think about this kind of unimaginable mercy from God, I’m reminded of a scene in Dead Man Walking, where Sean Penn’s character is strapped to the table, about to be executed for heinous crimes. Susan Sarandon, playing Sister Helen Prejean, advocates for his life, and counsels him. At the end of his crummy life, he repents, right before this scene. Is he shown God’s mercy? Did he deserve it? Prejean believed so.
Maybe my list of the undeserving isn’t your list, but I suspect we all have one. This morning, I’m thinking about who I’d really struggle with the notion that they receive God’s unearned mercy. Who am I to decide whether someone deserves it or not? Perhaps today, God can grant me some grace to see God’s mercy as God sees it.
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