May 12 2022 Day 341 Philemon 1

Perhaps this is the reason he was separated from you for a while, so that you might have him back forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave, a beloved brother—



Paul’s on chapter letter to Philemon is about a runaway slave, persuasion versus compulsion, reparations, and reunification. At the time, slavery was common practice, as was executing runaway slaves. Paul has met and become a father figure to Onesimus, a runaway slave of Philemon. This brief letter is Paul’s attempt to persuade Philemon to accept Onesimus back, without the harsh penalty of execution.

Paul writes that he’d rather persuade Philemon to do the right thing, rather than keep Onesimus without Philemon’s consent. I would do well to remember that, particularly with my loved one. As it turns out, I truly cannot compel them to do much of anything, as a grown adult. I can turn natural consequences into unnatural coercive penalties, and I have tried that approach. In my head it feels like it’s a natural consequence, but if I examine my motives, I just want to bend their will to my way. Never mind that they’re an adult, able to make up their own mind. That whole brain disorder makes me think otherwise sometimes. But as Paul wisely points out, persuasion is always better than compulsion. We just have to be willing to have our persuasive arguments fail; by returning Onesimus to Philemon with arguments of persuasion, Paul risks Onesimus’ execution if Philemon is unconvinced. Such is the risk of persuasion.

As a way of trying to convince Philemon, Paul agrees to pay any debts owed by Onesimus. In this different era, where slavery is not customary or accepted, I struggle with the notion that reparations are due because of a slave’s actions; I’m far more comfortable with the notion that reparations are due because of the slave-owner’s actions. But at that time, Paul’s offer was generous and hopefully convincing. He’s offering to repay the debts of a person, to free that person. Um, sort of like Jesus.

Finally, Paul argues to Philemon that his separation from Onesimus was perhaps a set up so Onesimus could return as brother, rather than slave. This would allow reunification without the horrible power differential that existed before.

This morning, I’m thinking about relationships that change into something better. With my sick loved one, I believe we are slowly turning our relationship from one with a significant power differential (parent), to one of more collaboration (caregiver). We remain to parents to be sure, but hopefully we’re able to be reunified without that power differential.