Aug 11 2019 Romans 15:1-13

We who are strong ought to put up with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Each of us must please our neighbor for the good purpose of building up the neighbor.

Ouch. This is both timely and poignant. After spending a very long Saturday at a wonderful work meeting, I came home to a very testy sick loved one. She grumped and groused at me, for the full 5 minutes I’d seen her since the preceding day. Between the long work day, and her, the whole family was testy with each other.

In that circumstance the them, I could or should have been the strong one. I could or should have been the one aiming to please for the good purpose of building up the neighbor. But geez, really?

By the end of brief time with my family, I ended up outside on the balcony, reading a book, pouting. In hind sight, it was a stupid evening, and I probably had the largest part to play in making it unpleasant for all.

So what to do differently? Maybe it really is as simple as Paul purports. We who are strong should put up with the failings of the weak. We should aim to please our neighbor.

What is it about being in the heat of the exchange that makes this so difficult to do? Was I genuinely goaded by someone who can’t govern their thoughts and words? Did I really think I could discuss my way out of it or that there was any reason behind the testiness?

Up until this point in my life, I might find some challenge with Paul’s advice. Put up with the failings of the weak. In the midst of controversy of a general nature, it’s always hard, but possible to cede for the benefit of eventual harmony. It is admirable to aim to please your neighbor for the sake of building the neighbor. And it’s important to try to do that. Arguing or winning is not as important as understanding and strengthening.

And I’d love to offer the caveat that now I’m not in normal times. I’ve heard from others that I’ve already done too much, conceded too much. It’s tempting to say that Paul certainly wasn’t talking about MY world; the weak ones in my world are exceedingly challenging, and in fact not at all neighborly.

But isn’t that what Jesus asks us to do? To be loving and kind and peaceable precisely when it’s most needed? In my head I thoroughly believe that there is no circumstance when Paul’s counsel isn’t appropriate; I am always called to put up with the failings of the weak. Always called to please my neighbor. I’m not exempted because it’s harder or meaner, or more permanent.

This morning, I’m thinking about how pesky Jesus’ commands to love can be, especially when feeling that this circumstance is beyond that call. I’m thinking about how Jesus calls us right to the edge of what we think we can’t do, who we can’t love, when we can’t be kind. And then beckons us on, walking with us right at that moment.

Today, I hope to remember that I am the strong one. That I can put up with the failings of the weak. That I can please my neighbor. That in loving the unlovable, I’m loving Christ himself.