Moses has taken his sandals off, seen the burning bush, and been asked by God to go speak freedom to the people, and release to Pharaoh. But Lord, he counters, I’ve never been eloquent with words. I’m slow of speech. God reminds Moses that it is God who gives speech, hearing. God will be with Moses as he speaks. But Moses persists. O my Lord, please send someone else. Seems a little cheeky, after all God has shown Moses.
And I’m glad he was. I’m glad we hear this story of a human interacting with God, protesting what God has asked. Of Moses feeling unsure at his ability to do what God’s asked him to do. I can relate. There are times when I wonder, like everyone else does at times, whether I’m equipped to do what I am being asked to do. I fully believe that with God’s help, I am equipped or will be equipped to do whatever’s supposed to be done.
But I differ from Moses in that I don’t immediately turn it into a prayer. O Lord, please let someone else do this. Rather, I will wallow in my sense of inadequacy, until I again remember that with God, I will handle whatever’s put in my way.
Even though Moses was slow of speech, I believe with God, he would have been equipped to handle what God was asking. But God, perhaps sensing Moses’ persistent sense of insecurity, sent Aaron with Moses to speak the words Moses heard from God. God responded to Moses’ prayer, sort of. God did not send someone else, but he sent Aaron to accompany Moses on his journey.
What if I prayed, instead of wallowed? I suspect one of two things would happen. Perhaps I would be sent my own personal Aaron, someone to accompany me on my journey. To do the parts I feel ill-equipped to do. If I think about it, I suspect I’ve already had instance where Aaron showed up, precisely at the right time. The mental health professional who showed extra compassion precisely when I needed it. The colleague who offered help or prayer. The friend who called.
I believe we can do all things through Christ. I may not accomplish the thing the way I originally hoped, but it will all be good with God, whatever the outcome. And sometimes God throws in some extra support, to ease my burden, or to provide bolstering.
The other thing that prayer instead of wallowing does is shorten the length of the wallowing. Simply by crying out to God, I’m reminded that God is with me, and that although I might not see the resolution, God does, and with God, I can muddle through.
This morning, I’m thinking about arming myself with some prayers to offer up, when I feel I’m ill-equipped, and need help. In prayer language, these are prayers of petition, prayers we ask on our own behalf. I tend to pray for others more, feeling selfish if I pray for myself. Writing that sentence makes me realize how ill-conceived that is. I’ll work on changing that self-talk! There are plenty of beautiful petitions that, in their utterance might provide a sense of calm. From our common prayer book:
Heavenly Father, you have promised to hear what we ask in the Name of your Son: Accept and fulfill our petitions, we pray, not as we ask in our ignorance, nor as we deserve in our sinfulness, but as you know and love us in your Son Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.
And sometimes, a simple easy to remember prayer is what is needed. A perfect such prayer is simply, help. That simple word acknowledges I’m not alone, and that I need God’s help. Credit to this prayer is due to Ann Lamott, author of the book, Help, Thanks, Wow – The Three Essential Prayers.
With this complicated life I’m in now, I believe I’ll work on arming myself with the simple essential prayers, particularly help. Today, I want to acknowledge where I’m feeling ill-equipped, offer up my petitions to God, and notice what happens, whether it’s a change in me, or Aaron comes strolling along.
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