My brothers and sisters, do you with your acts of favoritism really believe in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ? For if a person with gold rings and in fine clothes comes into your assembly, and if a poor person in dirty clothes also comes in, and if you take notice of the one wearing the fine clothes and say, ‘Have a seat here, please’, while to the one who is poor you say, ‘Stand there’, or, ‘Sit at my feet’, have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?
This is the first weekend in a long, long time, that I’ve not been dealing with weekend work obligations, or complications from my loved one’s illness. It feels like time to sit with a cup of morning coffee, look out at the grey sky, pray the Daily Office, and reflect. And I must admit that I’m a bit distracted with what’s going on with my loved one. I’ll attempt the former prayer reflection, and conclude with the update.
And to start, I’ll say that I love our tradition’s Daily Office. It includes prayers, and songs of prayer (also known as canticles), and scripture. Every day, there are parts that are the same, praying the Lord’s Prayer every morning, for example. This creates a sense of rhythm for every 24 hours. Every morning, I can know there is something the same as yesterday’s prayer time. Every day there are parts that are different, with a seven day cycle, so the canticles on Saturday mornings are the same, creating a sense of weekly rhythm. And there are parts of the morning prayers that repeat every three months (psalms) and others that repeat every two years (scripture). Doing this morning prayer for any amount of time creates a sense of order in my days, weeks, months and years. If I were to add in evening prayer, I’m sure this would be amplified, and someday. . .
This morning’s scripture reading is from James, and is another great bit about not being judgmental. If we value the wealthy over the poor, we are not really living Christ’s commandment of loving our neighbor as our self. When we read this in scripture, it seems easy to assent. Of course, we should love the poor as much as the wealthy. To do otherwise seems uncharitable. We imagine the poor helpless widow, or the orphan child. Of course we should help them.
The hard part is when we each think about our own personal judgment scale. What if instead of referring to the person in fine clothes versus the person in dirty clothes the reading referred to the young professional and the addict. Or the kid at violin lessons and the kid in the gang. Or the liberal and conservative. Or the pink cat hats and the red ball caps?
We all have someone who’s considered the other, someone we judge as less. And yet this reading continues that whoever shows partiality is convicted by the law. Now, more than ever, we people of faith need to love. We need to love everyone without judgment and without partiality. Period.
And now an update. Our loved one remains in the hospital. After much prayer and consultation with lawyers, investigators, and dear friends, we decided to pursue guardianship. We talked with the lawyer a week ago, and yesterday had a telephone hearing with a judge, and were awarded temporary guardianship. A more permanent arrangement will require further investigation, and the appointment of an attorney for our loved one, and another court hearing.
Guardianship means that my husband and I can have two-way conversations with our loved one’s care team, as opposed to be shut out because of privacy laws. We can offer our input, and it matters. We can apply and sign on behalf of our loved one. It’s a lot of added authority, and with that comes a sense of the added responsibility.
But in just 24 hours, we’ve been involved in more meaningful conversations than we have in the past 2 years. We’ve discussed previous hospitalizations with current doctors, and provided much needed and previously unknown information about effective versus ineffective medicine. We’ve talked with intake workers about possible independent housing options that previously we couldn’t. We’ve talked with nurses, in response to our loved one claiming they were allergic to the only medicine that resulted in their ability to hold a job. It’s been exhilarating, and I slept well last night.
The responsibility is real. The medicine our loved one believes she’s allergic to is both effective, and very strong. It has significant possible side effects, some of which could be permanent. And yet, it’s the only thing we’ve seen that makes them stable. All of a sudden, with a judge’s signature, our information and consent to the doctor means that our loved one is going to be forced to take a medicine that they dislike, at least while they’re hospitalized. And our loved one claimed to be allergic to the medicine, and with a simple call to us, that objection is dismissed and the meds are prescribed. We also may have the authority, working with the doctors, to assure she is hospitalized long enough to get more stable. This is a level of responsibility and authority the State was clearly unwilling to assume. It was easier for a judge to sign over our loved one’s rights to us, than to the State. And maybe that’s a good thing.
In any case, it is a lot, to now be responsible for not only my life, but also my adult loved one, who has a lifelong illness. Our deep hope is that we can exert this authority just long enough to get them stable and more independently housed, and at that point step back and help them be as independent and happy as they can, from a place of more stability. And while it feels like a lot of responsibility, it’s also wonderful to be able to continue to help our loved one, more than the illness previously allowed.
This morning, I’m thinking about God’s providence. How God is present with the court employees, investigators, privacy advocates, social workers, lawyers. I don’t know how next month or tomorrow will turn out. But God does. And with that knowledge, I will aim to do my part in God’s plan.
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