I can do nothing on my own.
This comes not from some lowly sinner, beggar, leper. This sentence, I can do nothing on my own, comes from Jesus himself. Jesus, who we believe to be both fully human and fully divine. If this is true for the God-man, how can we possibly think we can be more self-reliant?
We have a convenient way of being reliant on God, sometimes. When we do well or when we succeed, we are frequently proud of our accomplishments. Maybe this is hard to acknowledge in ourselves. But I see it a lot in myself when I’m talking about my kids doing well. Aren’t they grand? Rarely do I attribute their success to God.
But when things aren’t going well either for me or my kids, it’s much easier to involve God in that equation. Somehow it’s God’s oversight or displeasure, that’s the root of my woes. In these instances, prayer is easier for me. It’s easier to involve God in the petitions for myself or others.
Yesterday, I had an exchange with a family member that, in hindsight, didn’t go as well as it could have. I wasn’t as non-anxious and patient as I should have been. I’ve played the conversation over repeatedly, and in hindsight, I asked God for awareness and the grace to handle these situations better in the future. Maybe I invoke God in the harder bits because it’s so clear that I cannot handle this all on my own.
But for some reason, it’s easier for me to step into the spotlight and feel the glow of the good things. This is especially absurd when it comes to my kids’ success. What, really, did I have to do with their current, adult successes? But it’s easy to feel a sense of pride.
To be clear, I can pray in thanksgiving for myself or my family. But not as frequently, as easily or as spontaneously. I offer thanksgiving for the good things predictably when it’s bidden. When someone else asks for prayers and thanksgivings, I can list off all the things I’m thankful for. But as they occur, I’m not as quick to go to God, other than the less-than-sincere, “Oh thank God…”
I can do nothing on my own. Jesus cannot. I cannot. My kids cannot. And nothing includes the good and the not good. None of it occurs on our own, independent of the ever-present God in our midst. Today, I want to be at least a little more aware of God’s action in my world, of my action in the world and God’s action through me in my world. In the good and the not so good.
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