"Who are you, Lord?" The reply came, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting…”
This morning, we read about Saul’s blinding, the beginning of his conversion story. Saul was there when Stephen, the first named deacon, was stoned to death. Here, Saul, watch my coat while I throw rocks at this deacon until he’s dead. Oh, ok. Whether he threw a stone or not, Saul was there, complicit in this and other crimes. In today’s reading, Saul’s on his way to Damascus to search for and bring back by force other Jesus followers. On his way, he sees a blinding light, and hears a voice. In his blinded state, he asks who are you? The response, I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. Saul continues on his way and for three days is blind, awaiting what’s next in this odd story. And so today’s reading ends.
At this point in Jesus’ life and death, Jesus is in fact, dead, risen and ascended. His mortal presence on Earth has ceased. Except here is Saul hearing the voice of Jesus. This has me thinking. Saul has been a good and faithful Jew; he was a pharisee. Pharisees were devout and observant Jews; there’s nothing wrong with that. He believed he was carrying out God’s will, by cleansing the world of these new alleged God followers, who also talked about Jesus. God is God. One God. Not God and Jesus. I can absolutely understand how and why Saul was a part of the thinking that these Jesus followers were wrong; it was so inconsistent with the Pharisees’ understanding of God.
But I can’t get on board with the complicit part in the stoning of Stephen and murderous thoughts about other Jesus followers. Obviously, a loving God wouldn’t have condoned that. So even if the Pharisees were speaking against Jesus-followers, murderous plots and exterminating them couldn’t have been part of God’s plan.
But Saul was on that murderous path, when Jesus speaks to him and asks why he’s persecuting him. It’s interesting that Jesus is not physically around at this time, and yet Jesus’ words are that Saul is persecuting Jesus himself. Not persecuting other Jesus followers.
By persecuting these other people, Saul was persecuting Jesus.
By our persecuting others, we are persecuting Jesus. By our ill will of others, we have ill will of Jesus. By our carrying out capital punishment of others, we are carrying out capital punishment on Jesus. Why do you persecute me?
This morning, I’m thinking about Jesus speaking to Saul. Saul who was holding the coats of the men who executed Stephen, who was heading to Damascus still ‘breathing threats and murder’ against Jesus-followers. And Jesus, who’s been executed himself, rose from the grave and ascended to God. If the God-incarnate Jesus can make himself known to Saul, of course God-incarnate can make himself known to me. If God-incarnate can remind Saul that persecution of others is persecution of God-incarnate, then of course God-incarnate can remind me of that as well.
It’s a dramatic conversion – that Saul had to be blinded and hear Jesus’ voice. I wonder and hope that I’m attentive enough to hear Jesus’ voice and see his hand in my world. To hear Jesus remind me that ‘when you do this to the least of these, you do it to me’. I pray I’m not already blinded or deaf enough that I need this dramatic of a reminder of God’s providence in my world. Today, I pray that I hear Jesus voice asking, “Why do you persecute me?”
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