Paul is writing to a young Timothy words of encouragement. He explains that what really matters is integrity; right speech and right actions, faith and love. With those covered, God will provide what is needed for the job. In Timothy’s case, he moved with trepidation because he was young. Paul tells him to not worry.
This morning’s reflection in advance of the short term mission trip asks me to consider what traits I bring to the table. Recently, I’ve spent time thinking about my personality and skills, and how they are different from those around me. In the world of clergy, I’m definitely an odd duck. With very few exceptions, they are a intuitive, feeling group. I’d go so far as to suggest that their personality, and willingness to respond to God’s call is in part what got them in to ministry. They are a self-selected stereotypically similar group of wonderful humans.
While I can be intuitive and feeling (in the Meyers-Briggs way), those are not my traits. Where colleagues feel things in their gut, or they have a feeling, I understand what is said, what I can see, and what I can touch, frequently missing the subtlties in interactions. Where my colleagues assess situations and respond based on the particulars, I tend to assess situations and remember how we responded to the last similar issue, and aim for consistency. To be clear, neither of these are better or preferred. I am just increasingly clear that in my work world, I cannot presume that others see or respond the same.
I have spent 30 years in bureaucracy management in government, non-profits and now church. I’m a good planner, and good at getting things done. I enjoy organizing things so others can do the work they are called to do; when I worked at United Way, I enjoyed getting agreements in place and evaluations completed, so the social workers didn’t have to. It was a mutually agreeable arrangement.
Finally, I am good at adapting, although sometimes begrudgingly. Earlier this week, we had a scare that we might be forced to move (again) because of an inability of our loved one to follow some of the rules of the apartment. My husband and I spent Sunday afternoon riding all over town trying to find an alternative that would work for our unique situation. I’m not sure we found anything, but other than grumbling about a potential 5th move in 18 months, it was a delightful afternoon, imagining a new reality entirely out of my control.
All of this is to say that I feel I do bring some good traits to the table. To be clear, I’m not without shortcomings, including a deep desire not to look dumb, a preference for routine that some might say is rigid, and a preference to pray from a book, rather than spontaneously. All of this – the good, the bad, and the ugly, I will bring to Guatemala.
And the reflection for this morning reminds me that all of my good traits can be used, my less-than-good-traits be overcome, and that what’s most important is a response with a Yes. The reflection also mentions Jeremiah 1:5, where Jeremiah is reluctant to God’s call. “I am only a boy”, Jeremiah says. God responds, you will go where I send you and say what I shall give you to say. I knew you before you were formed in the womb. And I consecrated you for this.
That’s powerful. God knows me. Called me. Consecrated me to do the work I am to do.
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