Mar 14 Day 43 Deuteronomy 1:1–4:49 

See, just as the LORD my God has charged me, I now teach you statutes and ordinances for you to observe in the land that you are about to enter and occupy.

This is Moses’ farewell tour. He’s reminding the people of their journey, their failings, their God, God’s rules, and God’s mercy. The accompanying reflection is from Frederick Buechner, and contemplates justice and mercy. He writes that justice does not preclude mercy; justice makes mercy possible. Justice, he writes is the grammar of things. Mercy is the poetry.

Personally, I’ve been much better at the justice side of the equation, and I think finally I’m practicing more mercy. I’m a great rule follower, a great rule enforcer. And I will never not be. Rules are important. And I’m married to a man who has always been better at mercy, than justice. The world is always better, in his mind, when rule breakers are given a hug, rather than a consequence. Together, we’re learning that both are needed.

In a small win-win, we learned that. We were talking about money provided to our loved one. I was suggesting that at the grocery store, they should be required to spend their ‘allowance’ on items that they wanted, items that we wouldn’t otherwise be buying. My husband, being the one who actually accompanies them to the store, would rather just purchase everything requested, so as to be nice, and avoid the ensuing fight. If we’ve had this discussion once, we’ve had it dozens of times, most recently two days ago.

But where before we’d conclude with being unable to resolve anything, this time we did. It turns out that we’ve never had a conversation with our loved one about a budget, and I feel the need to impose one at every outing. Likewise, without an agreed upon budget, my husband doesn’t understand why we wouldn’t purchase everything requested. That impasse wasn’t new. The new part was the recognition that the budget would help us both.

I, in my wheelhouse of justice, would feel like we’d created the structure or the rules. He, who’s not very good at rule making or following, would have a structure. Conversely, with the structure in place, I would be much more able and eager to show mercy. To make an exception to the budget for mercy’s sake. He, in his wheelhouse of mercy, would be able to show mercy because there was the structure of the budget. Mercy without any justice is not mercy. It’s anarchy, or pandemonium. Justice without mercery isn’t justice. It’s autocratic, irrelevant rule-making. We will continue to disagree on many things. And it feels like we’re increasingly aware that my strengths are needed to help him shine. And his strengths are needed to make me shine. This morning, I’m thinking about how justice and mercy are both needed because without one, you cannot have the other.