“Although we are unclean through touching a corpse, why must we be kept from presenting the LORD’s offering at its appointed time among the Israelites?”
Moses and the whole gang are wandering with the ark of the covenant. We hear an account of how they keep the Passover while on their journey. Previously, on our walk through the Bible, we heard of all the ways someone would be deemed unclean, discharge from the body, hanging out with someone with discharge, touching a corpse. There was a very clear list of ways to become unclean.
Some people come to Moses who’ve been deemed unclean because they’d touched a corpse, and ask how come they couldn’t also keep the Passover, or make an offering to God. Hmm. Moses isn’t sure, so he returns to God to ask. God’s response is that yes, they can. I’m not entirely sure if this means they’re no longer ritually unclean, but it does indicate a way for redemption and restoration.
What do I think of being restored? Is it a perpetual ‘get out of jail free’ card? Do I need to be genuinely remorseful in order for restoration to stick? How bad do I need to be to need redemption?
I don’t generally think about remorse, restoration or redemption. I don’t spend my days wondering if that action was a sin, or this thought. I try to live a good life, and I build in times in my day to take stock of the day. In addition to the public confession that’s contained in our morning prayer tradition, I’m slowly adding the Ignatian Examen into my day.
The Examen is a great way for me to take stock of my day. In my paraphrased way, it is about a 15 minute check in, ideally done at mid-day and in the evening. I slip it in as I turn off the light at bedtime.
First, I thank God for the blessings of the day. This is a really high level note of gratitude for the things that first stick out when I reflect on the day. This alone is a great way to connect and reflect on the day.
The second step is to invite the Holy Spirit into my presence and awareness. This step is included because it’s only with God’s assistance that the subsequent step is meaningful and deep. Holy Spirit, be with me as I look at the nitty-gritty of my day.
Third, I run down the whole day in more detail. What happened, hour by hour, or block by block, that brought me closer to God, brought light into my life or someone else’s? Similarly, what happened that took me further from God, where my thoughts, words and deeds shaded God’s light from me or someone else? This is not the time to be hesitant. It’s like one of the AA twelve steps, we need to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, at least since our last Examen.
Next is the stage where all of this is brought to God. God, this is what I’ve done, both light-giving and not. Forgive me for the unintended slights, or the intentional ones. And thank you for the joy the lovely moments give me.
Finally, I set my eyes on the next day. How is it I’m going to do more of the light-giving, and less of the not so light giving tomorrow. As I’ve reflected before, I cannot hope to change behavior if I’m not aware of it.
This Examen is ancient, and I find it useful. It plays to my strengths of being a person who understands the physical world and relate more to things I can touch, taste, see and hear. By working my way through the Examen, I see God in the little moments of every day, because God is, in fact, in the little moments of every day. If you're remotely interested, look up the Examen, as I'm no expert.
To me, being redeemed and restored is always there, if I ask. And because I do this Examen after I turn out the lights, sometimes I drift off to sleep before getting to that part of the prayer. But I’m sure God hears my heart, even when I don’t know it.
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