My eyes are spent with weeping; my stomach churns
Today, we start reading Lamentations. Although it is, well, lamentable, I’m finding it resonates more than Jeremiah. I struggled with all of the descriptions of the wrathful and vengeful God. But the notion of lamenting? I can absolutely get behind that.
In my life, I can think of three big laments that left me feeling like my eyes were spent with weeping and my stomach churning. And I honored those times with being sad, and trying to grieve what was being lost. The first of these was when my son was in the final spin-out stages of dropping out of high school during his sophomore year. It was very tumultuous, and he didn’t necessarily know why things were so bad. I remember literally shaking my fist at God, crying, and lamenting the loss of the dreams of my only-born child. Little did I know that this was the first step of an amazing journey that took him all sorts of places. He’s engaged to be married, some time after takes the bar exam.
My second big lament was when my loved one was in the initial phases of a significant brain disorder. Again, my eyes were spent, saddened by the loss of their dreams. That story is still unfolding, but it’s not quite so lamentable now. My latest lament was finding myself unexpectedly unemployed and without my meaningful volunteer ministry, all in the period of 3 weeks. That story is also unfolding, and not so lamentable now.
This morning, I’m thinking about all the things in my world that warrant a little lamenting, and I don’t. We are a culture that tries to be ‘fine’, when asked. But really, not everything is fine. We’re living through a pandemic that’s deadly, divisive, and persistent. We’ve talked about wanting to have a massive gathering when we can finally have a massive gathering, to celebrate all of the community life-events we’ve missed – major holidays, weddings, births. And while I know celebration is important, I also think we need to get together to honestly lament what we’ve missed. Let’s plan a big gathering to lament, to wail and to gnash our teeth. We need to grieve.
And in all of our lives, there are lots of little lamentable things that I suspect we gloss over. I’m not talking about losing out on the prime parking space, but honest grievances that we don’t grieve. I’m exceptionally good at not seeing those small losses, so I can’t even think of a good example in my world. But I’m very clear that they’re there, and I should lament them. Today, I’m going to be on the lookout for all the things that aren’t really ‘fine’, and give them the honor they’re due.
In my life, I can think of three big laments that left me feeling like my eyes were spent with weeping and my stomach churning. And I honored those times with being sad, and trying to grieve what was being lost. The first of these was when my son was in the final spin-out stages of dropping out of high school during his sophomore year. It was very tumultuous, and he didn’t necessarily know why things were so bad. I remember literally shaking my fist at God, crying, and lamenting the loss of the dreams of my only-born child. Little did I know that this was the first step of an amazing journey that took him all sorts of places. He’s engaged to be married, some time after takes the bar exam.
My second big lament was when my loved one was in the initial phases of a significant brain disorder. Again, my eyes were spent, saddened by the loss of their dreams. That story is still unfolding, but it’s not quite so lamentable now. My latest lament was finding myself unexpectedly unemployed and without my meaningful volunteer ministry, all in the period of 3 weeks. That story is also unfolding, and not so lamentable now.
This morning, I’m thinking about all the things in my world that warrant a little lamenting, and I don’t. We are a culture that tries to be ‘fine’, when asked. But really, not everything is fine. We’re living through a pandemic that’s deadly, divisive, and persistent. We’ve talked about wanting to have a massive gathering when we can finally have a massive gathering, to celebrate all of the community life-events we’ve missed – major holidays, weddings, births. And while I know celebration is important, I also think we need to get together to honestly lament what we’ve missed. Let’s plan a big gathering to lament, to wail and to gnash our teeth. We need to grieve.
And in all of our lives, there are lots of little lamentable things that I suspect we gloss over. I’m not talking about losing out on the prime parking space, but honest grievances that we don’t grieve. I’m exceptionally good at not seeing those small losses, so I can’t even think of a good example in my world. But I’m very clear that they’re there, and I should lament them. Today, I’m going to be on the lookout for all the things that aren’t really ‘fine’, and give them the honor they’re due.
Healthy & hard work.
ReplyDeletePraying for you & John & your family continues.
I lament that you are missing in Oregon😪, and I give thanks to God for your new purpose in Pennsylvania. 🙏🏻❤️🥰
Nancy, thank you so much for your support and prayers. We are enjoying life in PA, and also missing parts of Oregon!
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