For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life?
To follow Jesus, we must deny ourselves. The accompanying reflection is from Clare and Francis of Assisi, and they focus on all of the bad things that come from within us – avarice, wantonness, deceit, foolishness and evil looks. This, they argue is what we are to deny. This makes sense to me, especially the day after a holiday that turned into a holiday of gluttony.
I am probably one doctor’s appointment away from being diabetic, and yet I filled myself this past few days with all sorts of sweets and lovely breads. Every bite tasted wonderful. By the end of each day, I had a raging headache, and a zingy feeling in my body. And yet, the next day, I started all over. Caramel corn, homemade bread, chocolates from Germany. Why? What will it profit me to gain the whole world and forfeit my life?
I know Jesus wasn’t talking specifically about me and my gluttonous eating, but the same is true for all sorts of things we do. For some reason, we want worldly things that are tasty, or tempting, or fun or show our power, when we know better.
I’m reminded of the book, The Speed of Trust, by Stephen Covey. He suggests that there are rings of trust, that start with us trusting ourselves. We have to be able to trust ourselves before we can ask anyone else to trust us. Once we’ve worked on self-trust, we can begin to work on trust with other people, and then with groups, etc. But it all starts with self trust.
It’s a funny concept, to trust yourself. But it has to do with making a commitment, and sticking with it, whether it’s completing a task, or avoiding the candy. And it’s interesting that it’s so difficult. I do what I do not want to do, and I don’t do what I want to do. In order to follow Jesus, I need to deny myself. And the truth is, that despite what Covey says, I cannot truly trust myself. I have proven untrustworthy. The only thing that I can and should trust is God, not myself. With God, perhaps I do what I want to do, and avoid what I don’t want to do. Left on my own, I’m certain I’d try to gain the whole world.
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