Feb 22 2019 Psalm 102

But you are always the same, *
and your years will never end

This morning’s psalm starts where I am. LORD, hear my prayer, and let my cry come before you; *
hide not your face from me in the day of my trouble.

I have the wonderful opportunity to spend a few days with Episcopal archdeacons from throughout the country. Yesterday was our day of gathering. And while it was lovely to see everyone, it felt heavy to me.

Since we all last saw each other, one woman’s husband died of protracted Alzheimer’s. Her pain was palpable. Another from our group died quickly from an undiagnosed aggressive cancer. Another woman’s son, after battling heroin, died of an overdose – to prescribed opioids. Another is battling a child with newly diagnosed schizophrenia. These are the big hurts. But the room was full of smaller pains, too, no less painful.

There were a lot of shared tears of grief and loss. And a few amazing things happened too. The two women who lost family members talked about the singularly spectacular, compassionate outpouring from their faith community. From their bishops who sat with them at death’s bedside, or presided at their loved ones’ memorials. The hundreds of friends and strangers who came to celebrate life. From the continued love and support from our community of faith leaders.

I have a strict policy not to let anyone cry alone in my presence, so I started crying mid-day, and didn’t stop until the final gin and tonic with a friend at 9pm. My eyes this morning still have that burning feeling from too many tears, too much loss.

This is what I sense from the Psalm – an overwhelming sense of loss and grief. The psalmist goes on about his heart being withered, bones hot as burning coals, of groaning at night. But as the psalmist continues there’s a rest and peace in the eternal changlessness and love of God. And if we believe that our God is a loving God, God’s enduring eternalness is something we can rest our heaviness on. It’s something we can count on. To that this morning, all I can say is Thank God.