Apr 16 2019 Collect for the day Tuesday of Holy Week

Grant us so to glory in the cross of Christ, that we may gladly suffer shame and loss for the sake of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ;

I have a new cross ring. I got a ring because I often forget to put on necklaces and I don’t like to sleep in them. I wanted a cross I could wear all the time and not be inconvenienced by forgetting to put it on in the morning. So I have a new ring.

For probably 20 years, I didn’t like crosses and didn’t like wearing them. After years of working in the very secular Pacific Northwest public sector, I was uncomfortable in a cross. Part of that was because Christianity was such a foreign thing to be mocked, and part of my reluctance was because I didn’t want to be seen as THAT kind of Christian. In any case, now I have a cross ring. I have two, and I wear one every day.  I like what it says, and I like that I’m proud to be a Christian of any stripe.

But this week, heading towards Good Friday, I see the cross in a new-but-really-old way. The cross was the instrument of humanity’s worst. What happened to Jesus and thousands of others on a cross was horrific.

The collect appointed for the Tuesday of Holy Week talks about the cross, and because it’s Holy Week, the words seem clearer or harder. We pray today that God lets us glory in that tortuous device. We pray that we can suffer shame and loss.

Quite frankly, I don’t feel much like doing any of that. I don’t even feel like wearing my cross ring. I feel that I’ve had suffering, shame and loss. I’ve seen what humanity does to each other. And while I’ve never seen anyone crucified on a cross, I’ve seen families torn apart because of words on paper. People living on the streets with significant mental illness. We should be caring for them, not mocking them. Children of God mocking, bullying, and assaulting other children of God because of their faith, skin color, sexual orientation.

The collect for the day continues that we pray to suffer these things for the sake of Jesus Christ. Today, I’m thinking about the cross ring I’ll put on. Today, I hope that every time I see it or any other cross that I think it as a symbol of humanity’s worst, and feel the burden of the hurt, and pain, and shame I’ve seen in afflicted victims, caused by oppressors, and felt and caused by me. Today, I pray that when I see that cross, I feel its weight, and get a glimmer of the hope that comes from Easter Sunday.