But he was so merciful that he forgave their sins and did not destroy them; many times he held back his anger and did not permit his wrath to be roused.
Part 1 of Psalm 78 is a litany of bad behavior and God’s grace – a historical recounting of the people of Israel. God split the sea, and let the people leave Egypt. God split the rock and gave them drink in the desert. The people continued to sin, and complained that they didn’t have sufficient or good food. In response, God opened the heavens and gave them manna, and ‘mortals ate the bread of heaven’. They kept complaining, even with food in their mouth.
Based on the psalmist’s understanding of God, God then tried to slay some folks. Even after this, the people kept sinning. They’d try to remember that God was mighty, speak good words, but continue bad deeds. Even then, God forgave their sins, and held back God’s anger.
This God that is described as slaying people and withholding God’s anger? I think this has more to do with the psalmist trying to fit God into the previous understanding of vengeful Gods. To my ears, the part of this Psalm that sounds startling is that God would slay people, and be angry. But to the ears of the original audience, the startling part is that God kept forgiving them. This was a new kind of god; not a god who’d kill for retribution. This God, while God might be painted with that historical brush of vengeance, represented a new understanding of a loving and forgiving God. This Psalm is illustrative more about the people’s increasing awareness of the reality God of Love, rather than illustrative of an angry god.
Yesterday was a hard day in my world. We had a family meeting with our sick loved one’s case manager, to try to better understand the challenges we’re having collectively. From there, we all went to an appointment with a doctor to discuss medicine and future. It was a challenging day for our loved one. It was a day that started with them on a sour note, included plenty of barbs throughout the day, and concluded with more testiness. We repeatedly tried to help, with providing lunch, loving words, dinner. And they persisted in their funk. The day involved exasperated calls between my husband and I, short words between us, angry words with our loved one, and frustration. And if it was hard for my husband and I, I cannot fathom how hard it was for my sick loved one. Note to self: these appointment days always create a huge emotional wake for everyone. Be tender with each other.
This is an insidious disease, because of the incredible lack of awareness of the disease or symptoms the disease itself causes. It’s easy to lose patience, to show my wrath and be more like the punitive, earlier understanding of a god of vengeance. And my challenge is to be more like the God who withheld anger. I don’t have God’s infinite patience or grace, nor do I expect to. And I have a model of a better way to be.
This morning, I’m thinking about ways to show more love and grace, rather than anger and wrath. To be clear, I’m not trying to invoke sympathy or encouragement about how well I’m doing, or that I’m doing a good job, or how hard this must be. I believe all of that to be true. And I believe there are ways to reframe the interactions so my wrath is not roused. And whether directed towards our sick loved one, my husband, coworkers, political leaders, drivers, or strangers, wrath never makes things better
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