Jun 23 2019 Matthew 19: 23-30

But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.

Jesus is still trying to teach his disciples about what following him means. They’ve asked what they’ll get in return for giving up everything and following him. He responds those who’ve given up everything will get inherit eternal life. But then he throws in that many who are first will be last and the last will be first. Wait, what?

I was reminded of how this sometimes works by my BFF. When we were in grade school, we used to hang out with our moms who volunteered in the kitchen for our church’s Lenten suppers on Friday night. I’m not sure what time dinner actually was served, be we went over right after school and hung out, running around church, I’m sure getting in everyone’s way. Personally, I didn’t even like the fish. I mostly subsisted on the roast potatoes and a paper cup full of apple sauce. But it was always a good time, “helping” in the kitchen, or running around.

Before dinner was actually started, we’d queue up – being all hot and fatigued from all of our hard work. We’d be in the very front of the line. The crotchety old priest one evening quoted Jesus, about the first will be last, and made us all go to the end of the line. Oh, the injustice! I don’t think he was really trying to teach anyone about Jesus, as much as be ornery to us kids, who he never liked much anyway.

In hindsight, it sounds petty, right? And yet, there’s something to this, I think. The disciples had been doing everything they believed to be right. Jesus said leave your home, your jobs, your parents, and they did. And in the queue behind Jesus, they were first up, sort of like us kids.

So what do you do with ‘the first will be last’? If I’m honest, sometimes I feel like I’m queueing up first. I want to be at the front of the line; I want to do things right, and first. Where is that fine line between wanting to be first and best – even if it’s first and best as a Jesus-follower, and being an honest, genuine, Jesus-follower? What if my best attempts tilt towards firstness, rather than Godness?

This morning, I’m thinking about the first, who shall end up last. Everywhere I am first, or striving to be first, is it solely because I want to give up everything and follow Jesus? Is there any part of me that just wants to be first in line? If I recognize that desire to be first, maybe that’s when I immediately go the back of the line, or better yet, invite others to join me, and let them go first.