Jun 25 2019 Ephesians 6: 10-18 Commemoration of James Weldon Johnson

And having done everything, to stand.

James Weldon Johnson is described as an author, educator, lawyer, diplomat, songwriter, and civil rights activist. He was a leader of the NAACP, school administrator, and appointed diplomat by the Roosevelt Administration. He also wrote Lift Every Voice and Sing, which has become known as the African American National Anthem. This beautiful and hopeful song is included in the Episcopal Hymnal. I must admit that with a congregation of well-intentioned white folks and an organ, I’ve yet to hear the song sung as beautifully as it looks on the page.

Thinking about the African American history that Johnson had lived through, it’s a true testament to God’s grace that he had the faith to write a song that opens with this beautiful line, Lift every voice and sing. A few lines later, the song continues with the haunting,

Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us

Only recently have I understood about the faith that darkness teaches. Only recently have I fully appreciated that wisdom in Paul’s words that after we’ve armed ourselves for everything, we are called to Just Stand.

I have cognitively understood about the evils of racism, slavery, internment, detentions. I know from my baptismal covenant none of these things have any room in God’s dream; they’re all constructs of this horrible human nightmare. And I have lived a charmed life. I understood the evils and impacts and saw them in others. I hadn’t really felt that sheer exhaustion from something so wrong.

I’m beginning to feel that. My loved one is increasingly unable to cope with life without a lot of help. Texting us in the middle of the day to make pancakes, even though I’m 10 miles away at work. Unable to meet that most basic human need to be fed. Texting us that they need oreos. Ice cream. Pizza. Teriyaki. Nonsensical words. Stream of consciousness needs. Frustrated angry words. Unable to communicate. Unable to cope. Unable to leave the house. Unable to leave the bedroom, except to wander out to look for oreos. Ice Cream. Pizza. Teriyaki. Nonsensical words. Frustrated and angry words.

This morning, I’m taking comfort in the words from Johnson’s song. I’m feeling both tired, and faith-filled, taught from this dark time. And honestly, given the times when he wrote, I’m a little awed by the idea that he was able to see past the exhaustion and difficulty and write about hope. I’m not sure if the human nightmare in which he found himself actually gave him much to hope about. Hence the idea that it’s faith-filled and grace-inspired. Only God could grant him hope at that time.

I’m thinking about constantly seeking that hope, when I don’t really see it in my current situation, in this human nightmare. And I do have faith that God’s got this. That there is some goodness ahead for all of us. I’m not sure when or how. But for now, I’ll just stand.