This resonates with me. A lot. I cannot say that I’m enjoying this forced reset, but I do think there’s something to be learned from this time. I believe Brené Brown’s on to something here.
In January, I moved into a house, after 18 months in a downtown apartment. We moved because we couldn’t enjoy downtown living as much as we’d hoped, and be equipped to house and help our sick loved one. For the month of February, we worked in our offices, came home and incrementally got set up in our house. Since March, we’ve pretty much lived and worked in our house, and I really like it. I liked it before, but obviously didn’t see it as much as I’m seeing it now. I’m enjoying time home.
In January, our loved one was hospitalized. They’ve been hospitalized four times since then. In January and February, my husband and I juggled house, commute, job, care, hospitalizations, visits, anxiety, uncertainty. Since March most of those things are still there, but it feels much less like a juggling act, and more like binge watching a great mini-series. There is drama, characters and multiple plot lines. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the show, but increasingly, I’m watching it, a little distanced, and definitely not as anxious. I think that comes from the space and rest resulting from this self-isolation.
In January and February, work was busy. Many big events and changes occurring in the subsequent twelve months. Since March, some of those events have been cancelled, some have been delayed, and some new changes have been introduced. But again, instead of being wrapped up in the anxiety of the pace, I ‘go to work’, do my best, and when I’m done for the day, I’m done. If, as an office, we can respond to ever-changing conditions and expectations with the grace we’ve exhibited since March, we can respond to changes and expectations when we finally return to the office – with grace.
This morning, I’m thinking about what’s normal. About how, as a society, we normalized a bunch of things that now don’t feel normal. From this point forward, I want to be really intentional about what my days look like, and feel like. I want to notice what feels good about this time and pace, and I want to try to bring those components forward.
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m sleeping more than I’ve slept, pre-corona. I’m getting out and enjoying walks in the neighborhood, bike rides to the grocery store, happy hour conversations with family and friends. In Portland, we’re relegated to more-or-less essential services, not unlike the majority of the world’s population is, all of the time.
It’s one thing to romanticize this time. It’s another to intentionally name and claim the parts you want to keep, when we return from this corona time. I think one thing I will think about is how to continue to balance my days, my time, and my focus. I have a wonderful and demanding job, a challenging family situation, a peaceful bike commute, and a restful abode. I want to be intentional about what takes my energy and what restores my energy.
Most of all, I do not want to return to that previous ‘normal’. And I’ve got no one to blame if I do.
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