Apr 26 2020 Reflections on the Pandemic and My World

I continue to read and pray morning prayer each day. As I’ve said before, some days, I don’t find anything which conjures new thoughts worthy of writing. The past few days have felt like that. Today included.

The problem with today is that it’s Sunday. Sunday is the day many people, including clergy are fed spiritually. It’s hard to worship when you’re responsible for everyone else’s worship experience; I’ve accidentally gotten swept up in the moment, and forgotten what I was supposed to be doing. But it is a day to be fed spiritually, in communion, with communion. Not being gathered, not having communion. It’s hard.

For most Christian clergy, Sunday is THE day. It’s the culmination of a inward- and outward-focused efforts. Inwardly, it’s time spent in prayer, reflection, writing, practicing to deliver a message about God’s word, and the times, and the community. Outwardly, clergy manage the building, script Sunday, deal with stage directions, personnel and volunteer manager. It’s a big day. It’s exhausting, in a really wonderful way. When I was ordained, in response to be asked whether I was to be ordained a deacon, I repeated for hundreds of people to hear, “I believe I am so called”. We believe we are called by God to do this work, which has historically been largely Sunday focused.

I don’t mean to diminish anyone else’s calling, or job. I’m not in anyone else’s calling or job. All I know is mine. And for me, this pandemic time is hard because Sundays suck. I don’t get to gather in communion, for communion. I don’t get to do the job I am called to do, or at least the way it’s been performed in the past.

This morning, I’m thinking about my calling as a deacon for the church, as someone who’s called to motivate and mobilize people to be God’s agents in the world. In this time when we cannot gather as the church, it’s hard to bring those people into the world. I don’t see them to encourage them. And we can’t go anywhere anyway.

I’m quite sure the answer isn’t that I just hang up my collar. For one thing, this pandemic will end. But perhaps more important, there must be something to learn from this time, that we can bring forward. How is it I can bridge the world and the church, when neither are places I can go? 

I suspect the answer lies somewhere in the stubborn, yet mis-guided notion that the church is a place with bricks and mortar. I know in my heart that Jesus did not leave a building known as the church. Jesus left a group of faithful people known as the church. With the prohibition of bricks and mortar gatherings, maybe now’s the time to reignite the notion that the church is the people. As a deacon, I’m called to bridge the church and the world. My colleague priests and pastors are called to tend the flock, educate and spiritually feed the flock. What does that look like with no building? Perhaps, more importantly, what did that look like in Jesus’ time with no building? When they couldn’t all gather. When ‘the church’ was spread throughout the known world, with no way of quick or easy communication?

Today, I want to struggle with my Sunday doldrums, and perhaps find some pearls of wisdom in the midst of this day. We are called to be the church, not go to church. Pandemic or no, I will think about what that looks like.