[T]he LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.
Satan has bargained with God that humanity is not truly grateful for God, but only for the good things God grants. God suggests that Satan take a look at Job, and to have do what he will, but spare Job’s life. Satan destroys all of Job’s flocks and herds, and kills all his children. In response, Job blesses God, acknowledging that God gives and God takes away. Wow.
I must admit that these past few months I’ve felt a little like Job, particularly with the tribulations of my sick loved one. That was before my unanticipated loss of work. After that, I was pretty sure the open sores from Satan’s game were coming next, as they were the next test of Job.
I know that I have an excessive deference to authority, and to what’s supposed to be. I follow rules. Perhaps it’s this rule following tendency that’s allowed me to stick with the notion that God is loving and good. All the time. That’s what I’ve been taught, so that’s what I believe. In a silly but perhaps illustrative analogy, I remember arguing with a friend in grade school about a box of pencils. The box said there were 144 pencils in the box. My friend asked how I knew. I couldn’t understand her question. There are 144 pencils because the box said so. Plain and simple. God is with me, and good, because that’s what I’ve read and been taught. Plain and simple.
I also know that I have a gift of faith that comes from God, in addition to my rule-following obsession, and for this, I am eternally grateful.
My challenges with Job’s story as well as mine have more to do with motive. Why would God let Satan have his way with Job? God isn’t killing Job’s family, but he allows Satan to. Why would my loved one be facing this crappy disease, after a really crappy first few years of life? I can hold on to faith during these times, and I know God is present, because the box said 144 pencils. And my uncertainty comes from imagining a situation where a loving, present God would allow crappy things to happen.
I had a lovely conversation with a friend about Job recently (I never thought I’d write that sentence!). She explained that God is not transactional; Job couldn’t do anything to guarantee a change of situation, and neither can I. There is no quid pro quo. I understand that, but definitely don’t like it. If only I could do something so God would make my loved one better, or kinder, or happier. If only.
Later in the story of Job, his friends throw up lots of explanations about why this has happened, and how Job should be responding. I will read those with interest, as well as Job’s response. I don’t understand, but I hold on doggedly to the notion that the first step is to praise God in all things, as Job did.
This morning, I’m thinking about blessing God in the midst of trouble, and how that sets the narrative as the rest of the story unfolds.
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