If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go . . . then the Lord shall be my God. . .
Jacob is making his own covenant with God. At the time, many gods were in the scene, so in addition to explaining what Jacob seeks out of the relationship, it is a way to dispense with the other gods. You, Lord, will be my God. Jacob is pledging his allegiance to the one true God, in a tangible way.
The reflection accompanying this morning’s reading asks me to consider how my faith is (or is not) bigger than simply acknowledging God’s existence. Do I genuinely believe that my future is in God’s hands? Yes, I genuinely believe that. And I don’t always act like it.
When things are good, I don’t doubt God’s care and stewardship of me and my life. I’m actually pretty grateful, when things are good. Unlike others who forget God’s presence and goodness during the good times, that’s when I remember. It’s like being in a warm, fluffy bed with the covers pulled up. All is good, and I’m acutely aware of why.
It’s when things are bad that I forget. I forget that all of the bad is also in God’s hands. My future, the future of my sick loved one, is all handled. But instead of remembering that when I most need it, that’s when I forget. That’s when I jump out of my warm bed, and try to handle things, manage things, and assure that the future is secure in my hands. And in my bed analogy, I haven’t even had a morning cup of coffee! I’m entirely ill equipped to handle much of anything.
Not only do I frequently think that I am the one who needs to solve things, I forget entirely that God’s around, and already has it handled. It’s after running around, fixing this, holding that together, that I finally am so exhausted that I remember. It would be so much easier if I could remember before I hop out bed.
When life is good, I’m grateful for God’s constancy. I’m aware of it with certainty. This morning, I’m thinking about how I might carry that knowledge that my life, my loved one’s life, is securely in God’s hands, even when it feels like things are spinning out of control. As it turns out, if God’s got the good and the bad, things aren’t spinning out of control. It’s just a different path than I might have wanted. But God’s got a better path and better plan. I just need to remember that.
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