Jan 27 2020 - Reentry

It’s been 10 days since I last wrote, and what a 10 days it’s been!

I just returned from an 8 day trip, working with Orphan Resources International. This is a great non-profit that supports over 50 private orphanages in Guatemala, delivering food, and organizing work teams to do maintenance and repairs in these beautiful homes. 

Guatemala is an incredibly impoverished country; it’s hard to imagine, but there is no mail service in the country. You can’t mail things in or out. We brought hundreds of pounds of supplies in, and spent one evening on a rush shopping trip at the local Walmart, where we purchased hundreds more. 

Children are sometimes abandoned, or left in the care of these private, non-profit homes. Sometimes the children have loving families who lack the resources to provide for the children. Sometimes the children have significant or terminal disabilities, and are placed in these homes. Sometimes the children are removed from their families because of abuse. We saw it all.

Working with this team, we played, crafted and loved children from three homes. One of the three we also painted dorm rooms, and constructed big cubby-hole cabinets for the girls. One highlight from that part for me was that I used a skill saw, table saw, and chop saw. I love me some power tools!

We stayed at a lovely small hotel, Hotel Vista Encantada with spectacular unobstructed views of the 4 volcanoes in the region. One continually was emitting ‘poofs’ of dark, ashen smoke. Living in the shadows of other mountain/volcanoes in Portland, I found this unnerving, but beautiful. 

Another highlight for me was the opportunity to spend a week with my oldest friend, although she’ll quickly remind you that I’m actually older (by 2 months). It was lovely to spend time with someone who knows my soul, can pick me up, and give a mid-course correction when needed. We shared a room, and in addition to great conversation and fellowship, I slept better and longer than I have in months, logging two nights of 10+ hours of sleep. Hard work, fresh air, and distance are wonderful for that!

A few of my musings from that trip:

- The scenery was spectacular, both the natural vistas, and the smiling faces of the children for whom we worked. I was also amazed at the passion of the volunteers and mission workers who went to Guatemala and stayed, leaving family and the comforts of home. Their commitment was inspiring and a little convicting. God’s hand was clearly in the natural scenery, and God’s face was clearly visible in the faces of the children, and the long term volunteers and mission workers.

- I leaned over the balcony looking at the volcanoes poofing in the distance and was overwhelmed by God’s beauty, and contrasted that to the pain and challenges I left in Portland. But then I realized that God’s beauty in that country, in that vista, in those people, remains. God’s hand in the beauty of the world doesn’t disappear, because I return to my world. When I’m struggling with finding beauty or God, I need to remember that vista. It doesn’t go away, just because I’m not there. God’s hand in beauty remains, even if I’m not feeling it.

- My husband and I could absolutely abandon this life to go work overseas. We could buy a home, maintain a home, and serve God’s people somewhere, somehow. We’ve long thought we’d go somewhere to work. Although our motivation for doing the work might be different – mine for God, his for humanity – I’ve no doubt we’d be absolutely united in our commitment to go and serve. Going to Guatemala rekindled that thought.

All of those thoughts remain, and I’ll hold on to them. And when I returned to Portland, I returned to the drama I left, some which is good, and some which is not so good.


Prior to leaving, we’d been house-hunting, because we realized we could not live in multi-family housing with our sick loved one. Turns out we are closing on a house within 2 weeks. I returned to an apartment in the initial throws of packing, boxes in the living room, cabinets emptied.

Prior to leaving, our sick loved one was hospitalized. They were committed to the State’s care for 90 days. Part of the illness includes a break from reality, and negative thoughts. Because they’re an adult, we are given no information about treatment, or release plans, without their consent which they are not granting. We cannot call, or visit, and haven’t seen or heard from them since early January. We don’t know what the State plans for treatment, or if they’re going to be released and if so, when and where.

Even more challenging is the fact that our loved one has conjured a past that includes abuse inflicted by me and my husband. It’s hard to realize that they genuinely believe we harmed them. It must be hard for them, since we’re the only family and care they’ve seen for years.

It’s also really sad and a little scary, because we have an interview with Adult Protective Services, who’s been brought in to investigate their allegations of abuse. That interview will be early this week.

This morning, I’m thinking about God’s hand in all of this. My drama at home is towards the high side. But God is present. God is with me during these challenges. God is with the children in Guatemala. God is with the mission workers. God is with my sick loved one, and the protective services interviewer.

Today, in light of the drama, I want to intentionally stop and see God’s hand in the world around me, whether it’s the natural beauty of Portland, or the beauty of my wonderful apartment, or the bounty that I’ve been given that allows me to move into a house during a ‘seller’s market’. God isn’t just in the beauty, though. God’s in the pain and challenges. I want to see God in all places today.



Meanwhile the volcanic vista remains.