Jan 7 2020 1 Corinthians 19-23

I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. (The Message)

This morning’s reflection is about going to a different culture, and trying to not feel better than our hosts. I like the translation from The Message rather than the traditional “To the Jews I became a Jew so I might win Jews”. That sounds more like cultural appropriation than the translation which is about empathy, feeling with and seeing things from the perspective of the other. I hope that I am able to do that on this trip, even with foreign food, and smells and practices, and traditions.

And I must admit that my head isn’t in this writing today. My loved one remains in the hospital on a mental health hold. Later this week, I’ve been asked to testify at a court hearing, where the recommendation from the court investigator is to require additional inpatient treatment, involuntarily. Unfortunately, my loved one still does not acknowledge that they’re sick, so it will be a painful, confusing day for all of us. And in their scattered head, they’ve fabricated all sorts of horrible truths about my husband and me, that will also be put on the record at court. But they're not fabricated to my loved one. That is their truth, and that makes me ache.

Today, I’m not thinking about my upcoming trip. Or the pre-mission trip reflection. I’m thinking about how crummy it is to have someone this sick, and not know it. How this is absolutely testing the concept Love God. Love your Neighbor. No conditions or caveats. No exceptions. Love. Simple, but not easy.

Today, I’m also thinking about that Buddhist adage of not worrying about things over which you have no control. Tonight, I’m sipping bubbly water, staring out at the beautiful lights of Portland, and although there’s a little knot in my stomach, I’m mostly content. In the next few days, I’ll vacillate between worry, grief, anger, and hopefully back to in-the-moment contented.

It’s not that I’m not worried about Thursday, or Friday or whatever comes after it. But honestly, I can do nothing about it, and the lights are beautiful out there. I’m going to sign off, and relish my now. .