Jan 4 2020 Philippians 4: 14

Do all things without complaining and disputing

So yesterday a thing happened. Actually many things happened in the previous 48 hours. The result is that for the first time in over a year, I did not write or post any of my ramblings. Because of that, my day was incomplete, and I think I’m back. But here’s a quick run down of what kept me away.

• My loved one who’s very sick ran away, choosing to be homeless instead of staying with us, because of their desire to be independent
• For about a day we didn’t know where they were.
• I got a call Thursday afternoon from their case manager, asking if I had any additional information about their admittance into a local emergency room. Um, no.
• Turns out they’d had a further break down and were picked up by the police for erratic behavior. 
• Because of their behavior, we cannot live in multi-family housing, so we are looking to buy a home, rather unexpectedly.
• Friday was a day where my husband and I were confirming where they were, talking to court advocates, determining what the next steps might be, looking for housing, and all the while, I was battling a cold I’d been avoiding for weeks. I slept much of the day. 

A friend texted me to check on me, because I hadn’t posted anything, for which I’m extremely grateful, and as it turns out, she was right to check!

This morning’s pre-trip reflection is about supporting the mission team, without complaint. I will absolutely plan to do that. And my musings this morning are about doing all things without complaint, focused more on my personal world than my upcoming trip.

I’m reading a fascinating book, documenting a conversation between Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama. They are friends, deeply spiritual, and the book is about Joy (The Book of Joy) These two octogenarians have seen their share of heartbreak and suffering. The Dalai Lama fled his country at night in disguise, and has lived in exile for decades. Tutu lived through apartheid, and was instrumental in the establishment of the reconciliation councils after its demise. The book contains their week-long dialogue and exploration of joy, how to cultivate it in the midst of trials, and concludes with practices to cultivate joy. It’s a perfect book for me to read now.

Just last night, I was reading in the Joy book about complaints and worry. His Holiness was explaining that an ancient Buddhist adage involves complaints and worry. First, evaluate the problem. If you cannot do anything about it, why complain or worry? It is entirely outside your control. If you can do something about it, do that something. But why complain or worry? Do your something, and move on.

Both for the upcoming mission trip and my personal drama, I really really appreciate this Buddhist wisdom. In either case – whether something is in my control or not, worrying or complaining is irrelevant, and useless.

As it turns out this next week will contain much that I cannot control. There may be a court hearing to determine my loved one’s next treatment, or the system may decide they can fend for themselves. We have been asked to testify, if a hearing is held. If that happens, we’ll be in a room with doctors, and public defenders, and court advocates, a judge, and our loved one. If the judge decides they should be released from the hospital, there is zero chance our loved one will want to return to our home, so they will chose to be homeless, again. If the judge determines further care is needed, our loved one may be sent some distance away. Again, I can do nothing about that. If it’s scheduled, it will be Thursday, and Saturday, I’m supposed to board a plane to Guatemala City. I can do nothing about that either.

This morning, I’m thinking about the gratitude of learning from other traditions things that are supported in mine. In all things, do them without complaint or worry. Next week will contain many uncertainties, over which I have no control. And every morning, I’ll get up and face that day’s array of blessings and challenges, confident that I’ll do the same thing the next day, and the next. Reading scripture, other inspirational books and writing will absolutely be part of my days. I find joy in the time I spend thinking, and most definitely from the feedback and discussion that ensues. Thank you all.