Update

Our loved one is again becoming increasingly symptomatic. They have declined the offer for supportive housing, because the rules were too oppressive. In particular, the rules about living without alcohol and marijuana and them managing medicines. So instead our loved one is beginning the descent into another crisis. They vacillate between angry outbursts, and withdrawn isolation. Two nights ago, we heard them yelling down the street, apparently at a mother and her kids. We have no idea what the instigating factor was, but a colorful spray of foul language came out of our loved one’s mouth. I felt bad for the recipients. Then our loved one returned to our home to drink straight out of a bottle of wine sitting on the front porch, yelling and making noise to the point that twice we got up from bed to ask for quiet. It was one of the few instances where my husband got angry and raised his voice.


At this point in the cycle, it is unlikely to end in anything other than hospitalization, prompted by a police or crisis worker intervention. Our loved one is not taking medicine other than self-medicating with alcohol and marijuana (both legal here). Their reasoning is gone. Their ability to self-regulate is gone. Our ability to intervene is gone. Our best hope is to keep them safe, and love and support them as they cycle through this yet again.

As our loved one’s symptoms and resulting behavior gets worse, it’s both harder and easier to deal with. On one hand, the outbursts and angry comments are difficult. The slamming doors and drinking on the porch are like fingernails on a chalk board. On the other hand, our loved one is so very sick, and heading for the hospital it’s easier to have sympathy – as long as I’ve gotten a wee respite and some sleep.

I’m thinking about all of the people with schizophrenia without a home or a support system. They go through this on our streets, or in jail. We see them yelling, paranoid, drunk, delusional, and blame them. It’s hard not to, when their behavior is so anti-social. But it is the disease. These lovely children of God are someone’s mother, sister, daughter, friend. We need to see them as people, and see past this disease.