What a difference a day makes

 Yesterday, my husband and I headed to the town where our loved one was being held in jail. They'd entered the home of strangers, believing the house was theirs.  They'd also stolen packages off of porches, but did not get arrested for that. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

There was a slight chance that the arresting officer would be able to cobble together enough evidence that our loved one should be involuntarily transported to the psychiatric hospital; the officer had to believe that our loved one was 1) risk of harm to self (suicidal), 2) risk of harm to others (homicidal) or 3) unable to meet basic needs (at imminent risk of death by self neglect).  This information was not likely to come until later in the afternoon so we began a long day of waiting.  Thanks to some friends in town, some of that time was spent sipping ice water in the shade and watching them revel in their two little boys. 

Alas, the officer did not feel our loved one met the high bar for involuntary transport; the bar has effectively been raised, in my opinion, by over-zealous civil liberty rights advocates, and an over obliging judicial system, which has rendered the involuntary commitment laws toothless. 

Thanks to the prosecuting attorney, we were notified that he would be dropping the arrest charges, needed to get a judges signature, and then our loved one would be released to the street.  And so we waited some more. 

By 3:00, our loved one walked out of the jail, and spotted our car. My husband went over to talk to them, and we were not certain whether they'd come with us, or choose the path of abject homelessness.  They first agreed to get in the car so we could take them to get a pack of cigarettes. For any critics (including my inner voice) who question the choice of cigarettes, it absolutely is consistent with the concept of harm reduction.  If you can't eliminate all risk, chose the path with the least harm inflicted. Cigarettes are more harmless than homelessness.  

Our loved one and my husband stood outside the convenience store, while our loved one smoked several cigarettes. They were not making any sense. My husband likened it to a stream of consciousness dream state. People you know, mixing with celebrities, mixing with monsters, in one setting and then jumping to an entire new scene.  Mostly the monologue was happy-ish. There was talk of the president, Trump, God, our loved one's husband, the husband's new girlfriend, real childhood scenes, warped with accusations, or grandiose notions of power. My favorite was that the toilets in jail were very powerful. Our loved one got a muffin, and flushed the whole thing down the toilet to feed their goldfish. 

Finally, they agreed to return to Portland, and the stream of consciousness conversation continued for the two hour drive, plus a cigarette stop.  We stopped for take out and came home to eat on the porch, where the chatter continued. 

They crashed around 8:00, and were quiet until about 1:00am, when they got up, sung, made food, walked in and out of the house, came in to ask us what time it was, took a shower - constant motion until we finally conceded and awoke at 4:45am. They came out and asked if I'd make them a cup of coffee. The three of us went outside on a rare warm Portland morning, drinking coffee, and they continued the monologue. 

Before yesterday, we'd hoped our loved one would be hospitalized, stabilized, and we'd move our stuff and selves to Pittsburgh during that stabilizing respite. That plan is out the window.

Our loved one so dislikes Portland, that they're willing to move to Pittsburgh, if we go NOW.  So plan C (or is it D) is to pack three carry on bags, and a cat-filled cat carrier, and book flights for early next week. We had significantly downsized when we moved to Portland, so we would have needed to purchase some basic household items anyway. Now, we'll probably order over the weekend, for pick up when we arrive so we have some basics. Things like a couple mattresses, sheets, some cookware, a TV to keep our loved one entertained. My husband will return a few days later to Portland and complete the house pack-up. He'll fill and send off  the self-pack trailer, and head off in the car by himself.  

That's the plan as of 7:45am.  Could change 5 times before the end of the day. 

For now, I'm extremely grateful our loved one is back, and safe. Our move will be significantly less orderly than we'd originally imagined, but with God's grace, we'll get there. Thanks to everyone for the good thoiughts and prayers. Keep it up.  It ain't over yet.